001Chapter 26. Puppy season. Spring is puppy whiling season. That means a lot of puppies are born in Dog Town or dropped off in wooden crates or cardboard boxes. Puppies can't be adopted until they're 8 weeks old. So, new dog moms were assigned to the basement. Soon, puppy yips and yaps and whines and whimpers rang through the air. We had litters of peekaboos. Pika poos, cockaoos, and havaoos. And yet more came. What would management do with all those dogs? Then Buster had another bounceback. I can't remember if that was the time he chewed the teacher's grade book or ate an entire wedding cake. Maybe it was when he peed in the heater vent and the whole house smelled like the side of a fire hydrant all winter long. Anywh who, Buster was back and explained to
002me about the list. Ever wonder what happens to the dogs that don't get adopted? He asked. What was he talking about? The dogs that didn't get adopted just stayed at Dog Town, didn't they? And when I looked over at him, he was doing a trick I'd never seen him do before. He was playing dead. That's when I began to put the pieces of the milk bone together. Chapter 27. Lucky dog. I mentioned that management liked to play poker, but I don't think I told you how serious they were about it. Every Wednesday after work, all the Dog Town humans sat in the back room with their heads hunched over their cards. There were big stacks of poker chips, pizza, pretzels, and potato chips piled all around. So there I was, thinking I'd been at Dog
003Town too long. Management had me on the list. I was headed for the great dog park in the sky when something strange happened. The three of hearts showed up on my cage. The card was stuck in the chain link. When management saw it, she came thundering out to my pen, followed by front desk and three volunteers. No one could figure out how the three of hearts got from the back room to the basement or why it was there. On Tuesday, the three of spades appeared in the same place the three of hearts had been. On Tuesday, it was the three of diamonds. By then, there was a real hoola ballaloo. Front desk's girlfriend, management's husband, and a bunch of volunteers and their kids came to see me. Look at her. A volunteer who smelled like
004bananas pointed at me. She's posing by the cards. Okay, that was true. Who doesn't like to feel special? Front desk girlfriend rolled her eyes. You do know it's not possible for a dog to open her pen, go into the back room, get a deck of cards, find all of the threes, and stick them in the fence, right? Let us have our fun, front desk whispered. Front desk's girlfriend snorted. You guys are out of your minds. Don't you believe in luck? A tall volunteer with peanut butter breast ass. Front desk girlfriend shook her head. This has nothing to do with luck. Well, I could use some good luck. Front desk announced. Hey, I have an idea. We could give chance the run of the place and spread the luck around. A little girl stuck her sticky
005fingers through the fence and I cleaned them off for her. Everyone could get a lucky lick, she said. Peanut butter breath opened the pen so I could come out. Friendliest dog here. I thought it was just me she liked. Another volunteer said when I nuzzled her. Peanut butter breath squatted down to pet me. That's her genius. She makes everyone feel like her favorite. You can't let her run free. Management's husband said she'll run away. Have you seen her move? She's not going anywhere. Front desk said. Management ran her hand over her head. I suppose we could give it a try, but poker night she sits with me. So that's how I got the run of the place and a home under the poker table. Lucky for them, lucky for me. Chapter 28. Watchdog. There isn't
006a dog in the world that doesn't have a little watchdog in her, and I am no exception. So, yes, I did know how the cards appeared in the chain link, which is why every supper time I hopped down the stairs to the basement with a mouthful of kibble for mouse. Here's another thing humans are sadly misguided about. Luck is not a winning hand of cards. Luck is making a new friend. Chapter 29. Dog language. All dogs are bilingual. We understand the language our humans speak in our dog language. Mouse, as I mentioned, was triilingual, but without the proper voice box required for speech. Mouse uses sign language to communicate his thoughts. Mouse learned all of this growing up in Dogtown. But Metalhead Head didn't grow up in Dogtown or anywhere else for that matter. Metal
007dogs don't get older or wiser. One day you plug them in and that's it. So, how come metal head spoke dog? He had said it was because he paid attention, but I didn't see how a metal dog could learn the way we do. And if they could, then we are in big trouble. If metal dogs became more real, then where would that leave us?