001Dog Town chapter 16 group how Buster was the most upset about Gerald Dean and that got him into a heap of trouble. But before I can tell you about that, I have to explain about Buster. Goldens are usually well behaved. But not Buster. He slobbered on the floor. He peed on his bones. He drank from the toilet. He got adopted a lot on account of everybody loves goldens. But Buster was a bounceback. a dog that gets adopted then returned. Last time he came back, it was because he'd growled at grandma. Uh to be fair, she didn't look like any grandma he'd ever seen. She was 6'2 bodybuilder with big black metal toaded boots and she tiptoed into the bedroom where Buster's little human was sleeping. She only wanted a hug to hug her grandson. Good
002night. How how was I supposed to know that? Buster asked when he was he told me the story. Good question. There is one more thing about Buster. If Buster likes you, he likes you. I'd seen him take on three mastiffs and a maltise because they were picking on a dog he cared about. But if Buster didn't like you, watch out. Buster loved Gerald Dean. So the first thing he did was throw himself against his chain link fence. He banged, he bounced, he boomeranged back, and he barked his head off. And then he got us started on a group howl to complain about Gerald Dean's move to cage 22. That made us feel a little better. A good how always does. How? How? How? How chapter 17. Off the books. The neighbors complained about the howling
003and management knew Buster had started it. Plus, Buster had thrown himself at the fence so many times it was all bent up. So management sent him down to the basement and to the pen next to Metalhead. Management tried anyway, but Buster wouldn't budge. She had to get four volunteers to carry him out. Since my f my best friend and Buster were both in the basement, I hopped down the stairs to visit every afternoon. Wait, I forgot to tell you how come I got to go wherever I wanted. didn't I? Well, here's the truth. Nobody's going to adopt a three-legged mut. The way I move, all hoppity hoppity. I'm a pity party in a dog suit. Okay? Sunbathing on the beach, pet parades, and picnics in the park, regular stuff a human might enjoy with their
004dog wouldn't be fun with me. Everybody would be asking, "What happened to your dog? Why is she missing a leg? Yeah. So, no. But since I was management's lucky charm, I had to run of I had to run of dog town. I didn't take up space because I wasn't assigned a cage while which helped me stay off the list. I was off the books for nearly seven months, which is four years in dog time, if you're still using the 1 to seven years rule. Chapter 18, just out of the dishwasher. So, I headed down to the basement to see Buster and have dinner with my friend Mouse. Buster spent a lot of time in the basement, which was really tough on me on him because the pins were small for a dog with his energy.
005"Want to want to play ball, Chance?" Buster asked when he saw me. There was a gap between the floor and the bottom of the pin, just enough room to roll a ball under. It wasn't much of a game, but we enjoyed it. When we took a break, Buster asked, "What's happening happening with Gerald Dean?" I passed the ball back being kind of quiet and that's not good. Oh no. Oh no. No. No. Buster kicked the ball pounced on it, drooled over it, and pinged it under the fence. "What are we going to going to do?" "I'm working on it, Buster," I said, breathing in. Buster smell steak bones and hair balls and another scent like silverware just out of the dishwasher. Wait, that was coming from Meadow Head's pin next door. I looked over at
006him. He was busy reading his manual as usual. I walked closer. I liked the smell of silverware out of the dishwasher. It reminded me of home. Ball. Chance. Ball. Ball. Ball. Buster barked. "Sorry, Buster," I said, passing the ball back. "I can't play anymore. I've got things to do." "One more one. One," Buster begged. I hated to disappoint him, but it was time to move on. "Chapter 19. Humans don't speak dog." "Middlehead's eyes were on me." "How does one get out of here?" he asked in a human English voice. In human English. I didn't know if he meant out of the pen or out of the basement or out of dog town. Whatever the question, the answer was complicated and I didn't feel like playing charade. So, I shook my head. Meet asked again, this
007time in dog. I did a double take. Nearly lost my kennel ration. Metal dogs didn't know dog. How could they? They were programmed by humans and humans don't speak dog. How do you learn dog? I asked. I pay attention. He said. And now I wish to know how to leave this place. Oh, that's easy. You get adopted. Metalhead walked up to the fence. No, I mean on my own. escape. Forget it. No way out for a dog or where whatever you are. You called me metal head, he said. Yeah, I know, I mumbled. I was starting to feel pretty lousy right then. I'd been saying things about Metalhead that I'd never have told him to his face. It hadn't occurred to me he understood dog. I learned something important that day. Never say something about
008a dog that you didn't that you wouldn't want him to hear. I like the moniker. Metalhead said, "I didn't know if he burned out his bulbs or somebody had adjusted his settings, but the blue flashing had stopped. I could look at him without getting a headache. "Why do you want to escape?" I asked. "I want to go home," he said. Chapter 20, doggy amnesia. "Now I understand every boohoo in Dog Town said, "I want to go home." at one time or another. They couldn't grasp how their precious pampered selves could have been tossed out. They chose not to remember the halfeaten homework, the paw prints on the pillow, the torn tablecloth, the wedding dress missing one sleeve. The fact that they prefer to pit on the bathroom rug that slipped their minds too. Sign says,
009"Please drink elsewhere. Doggy amnesia, we called it. I told Malhead what I said to all boohhoos. It's never going to happen. I think you're mistaken, he said. I shook my head. You can't get out of your cage, much less out of the basement. Forget escaping from dog town. Even if that were possible, you can't walk all the way back to your house. And if by some miracle you manage that, they don't want you back. That's why they left you here. I waited for him to say he'd gotten lost. It is it is the no fault reason they all come up with. But Metal Head simply said, "I need your assistance. The little guy listens to you." He pointed his no his big metal nose toward mouse's house up high in the rafters. I shrugged. I
010wasn't about to get my best buddy involved in Metalhead's crazy plans. All the Boohoos wanted to run away. They got over it. Metalhead would wake up and smell the dog biscuits just like every other Boohoo before him. And that would be the end of the running away plan.