001The following program is a presentation of the Ohio School Boards Association. >> [music] >> Hello and welcome to the OSBA Forum. Listen, we're excited around here. It is about that time. That's right, the Board Leadership Institute, the premier institute solely for board members, is well on its way. May 8th and 9th we're gathering here in Columbus, Ohio and bringing board members from across our state to the great capital city of Columbus to talk more about how best to be the best board member you can be. And so today's episode we'll have a discussion with Mr. Dave Kaperton. He's our opening speaker at BLI who'll talk about the joy of serving. But most importantly, I have one of my favorite guests here with us today. She's the coordinator of our Board Leadership Institute, the senior deputy
002director of our Board Management Services, Ms. Terry Morgan. Terry, welcome to the OSBA Forum. Thanks, Mark. Very sweet. So glad to have you. Listen, we're looking forward to Board Leadership Institute. We've done this for years. But I want you to talk about from your perspective as you used to sit on the board. Why is it so important for board members to come to professional development? Why why is that even important to invest in that type of leadership? I think there's a couple reasons. The first reason that I wanted to do professional development is because I wanted to make good decisions. And I didn't always feel like I understood particularly school finance or school funding. So I can remember the first year of my service, I went to every workshop at every event so I could
003really be up to speed. I think the other thing too is to sometimes you think, "Oh my gosh, is this just our district? Are we the only ones that are experiencing this?" And so having the opportunity to be with other board members and to network and to hear that a lot of the problems are the same problems throughout the state was [clears throat] reassuring. Yeah, yeah. You know, Terry, we look forward to this institute because our focus as as a staff, uh we've been intentional. We're moving towards solutions. You know, it's not just going to be another conference or workshop that you come to, but you're actually going to walk away with strategies to implement in your district. Tell me how that's helpful to a board member. >> Sure. We have sessions that I think
004um are going to be particularly geared towards state funding and advocacy. And and those probably are two of the biggest issues we have right now on all of our school boards no matter the size. Um we get a lot of calls about the superintendent, treasurer, and board relationship. But we have some particularly geared towards having good governance and a high-functioning team. Um we also have a session that'll be about community partnerships. And in this day and age, you've got to be meeting with city and county and officials that can help your district find grants or find opportunities for our joint funding kind of projects. >> Absolutely. So those are the important things. And then the fun things I think are going to be we're sticking to our theme, as you can see, of America 250.
005>> Yeah. And we're going to have um that's really we we want to focus on the student voice. We're going to talk about helping students of military families. We're going to have a session about Buckeye Girls State and Boys State and the civics lessons that they can learn from that. So I think it's important that we keep the focus on students but give the board tools to make sure they're having those opportunities. >> Yeah, you know, as our board members come to the institute, I think you're so right. The student focus and the student voice is so important. Just talk more about how it's important from a board member's perspective to have that influence and understand what the students are saying and more importantly making those decisions that are make for the best outcomes for
006students. >> And I think that's one of the issues particularly if you don't have kids in school at the time that you serve, you kind of forget that your focus is about these students and the wonderful things they're doing. So being reminded of how our upcoming generations are going to be okay and they have great ideas and they're learning leadership skills. I'll never forget one of the things that was first on the agenda when I was on the board was we were actually had the conversation about student uniforms and it would that make a more of a level playing field in a public school. And the students showed up in mass at our board meeting and they had the most thoughtful comments, pro and con, that really helped us make a better decision. So you've
007got to include that voice. >> Yeah, it's so critical. I mean, I tell people all the time if it was not for students, we wouldn't have a role to play. So we're serving their needs and then this is an opportunity to come to BLI to learn more to do the best job that they can. And so Terry, share any details that you'd like to share with our audience in regards to getting ready for Board Leadership Institute. Maybe for our first-timers, we may have some new board members this their first time around. Share some insights with them. Well, one of the things that we made a conscious effort to do was to include a couple of the really pertinent sessions that they would have gotten in from Election to Action that we had to cancel because
008of weather. So we're going to be be repeating those because we feel like they're the really foundation of building on all the other things that board members would need to know. So we're going to offer those again. We also feel like you just you just need to take that first step. Once you take one professional development workshop, whether it's through us or anyone else, you learn there's a bigger world. It's not just your little school board world. >> Yeah, yeah. Well, I want you to talk a little bit more about that networking piece. A lot of times our board members will say the the uh best part of OSBA functions is that opportunity to network. Talk more about how the commonalities that we see among our school districts and school board members. And and it
009doesn't matter the size of your district, whether it's urban, suburban, small, rural, we're all facing the same issues. And and so having the opportunity at lunchtime, we're going to have them sit with their regions. So first of all, they'll have networking that are issues definite for northeast or that are definitely happening in the southwest. And then from there, they meet people from districts who are facing the similar kind of issues. If they're in a session on state funding, everybody in that room is going to be concerned about state funding. So talk to your neighbor that's sitting there with you. Find out how they're doing it. Find out if their state rep is more responsive than your state rep might be and how they made that work. Yes. Yeah, I think you know, Board Leadership Institute
010Leadership Institute has so many wonderful facets to it and I'm excited about what we're producing. So Terry, thank you so much for being with us today and the work that you're doing behind our Board Leadership Institute. I know it is a heavy lift and because of your leadership, it's going to be an awesome event. >> Oh, well, thanks. We're excited. We think it'll be fun and um and educational. Wonderful, wonderful. Thank you again for being here and we will be right back. >> [music] [music] >> Welcome back. We're really excited about Board Leadership Institute this year as we're bringing it together board members from all over our state to come together to have the type of conversations and development most important to our board members today. And we are welcoming an excellent keynote speaker, Mr.
011Dave Kaperton. Wanted to have that conversation with Dave today. Dave, welcome to the OSBA Forum. >> Uh thank you, Mark. I I'm excited to be here, excited to be part of the Board Leadership Institute this year. Well, we're excited about the message you're going to bring to our board members. So Dave, tell us a little bit about yourself and the message that you'll be bringing to our Leadership Institute. >> Well, I am a I'm an educator. I that's I I I come from a family of educators. You know, we're like circus families. >> [laughter] >> Not just one usually in the in the group. But I I was a teacher for years. My wife was a teacher. My sister was a teacher. My sister's wife was a teacher. So we have we have that in
012our DNA. So you know, that's always been something that I've loved. For a little while, I also did stand-up comedy, believe it or not. And so when I when I transitioned into speaking as a business, it was a natural move because I thought, "Hey, like what has my whole life been dedicated to?" Two questions. Why how do we learn? Why do we laugh? Is there a connection between those two? And I found the connection is is one that speaks to intentional joy in what we do and why that's such an important an important energy to tap into for success from leadership on down to the student experience, yeah. >> Yeah, I like that phrase you said, "intentional joy." Unpack that a little bit more. Tell us more about that. Yeah, intentional joy is is first
013of all understanding what it is. I mean, we we know that when people are happy in what they do, it solves a whole lot of problems just it by organically. I I read one time that people who are when they say, "Man, I'm really I love what I do. I get joy out of what I do." They're about a third more innovative. They're they're 60% less likely to leave for other positions. So, turnover problems are eased or solved. They're less stressed. They have fewer conflicts. I mean, all of these things are just a natural byproduct of having joy. So, what I've dedicated the decades that I've now been in this business to is understanding uh is this something that we can do intentionally and approach joy not as a hoped for nice to have but
014don't need to have, but as a critically important strategy to say, "How can we make sure that we create it?" Yeah. Yeah. >> And uh so, that's you know, that's what I have have really just spent years uh working with my with organizations in education and other uh in other industries Yeah. uh trying to engender that. That's great. Well, David, I'll tell you this is the first time I've heard someone say joy can be used as a retention strategy. Yes, sir. And so, when you look more into that, particularly in education, you know, how how do you help you know, teachers, superintendents, leaders in education find the joy in the work that they're doing? Yeah, well, I I I have a really simple definition for what joy is because we all want to be happy.
015Uh but I think joy is distinct from that in one regard, and that is joy is always connected to your why. Joy is happiness, the way I define it. Joy is happiness that knows why it exists. Uh when we have our why, we know that we are passionate about our purpose, uh then it all becomes easier. Yeah. You know, and so, I think that's uh that's where we start is the the why that uh that that I come into it with, and the people I am leading, you know, if I'm if I'm leading others, I want to make sure that I'm somehow communicating to them, "Hey, [clears throat] we're sharing this why." And then a lot of other things uh they're they're solvable. I see. I see. So, you know, when we're dealing with board
016members, and I truly believe every board member ran or got appointed to their office because they wanted to do what's best for kids. Often that is their why. Um but sometimes, you know, the challenges of education it it it it leads you away from the intentional joy. It leads you away from your why. How do you get people back to their why and and and keep them there you know, in the in the work that they're doing? >> Yeah. Well, I think there's the stresses that just come with you've got decision fatigue. You've got >> [clears throat] >> course the the the difference in priorities. We may all here be here for the same why, but how we get there and the priorities aren't necessarily the things that we share, and of course, that's a
017recipe for conflict. We're going to and then once we are we have our focus dragged away from that, then stress becomes an issue and we start to say, "Well, I I can't find the joy in this anymore because it's all been eroded by that. So, I think the first thing is just to look at it as this is a mindset practice. You've got to look at this as every day I've got to be as relentless in my pursuit of resilience and consistent as the forces of stress are. Uh so, that's really the the only way to do it is to say, "Look, stress is consistent. It's consistently part of what you do. Making decisions, making tough choices, sometimes encountering people with different priorities. Uh but we've got to put something back, you know, I I
018when our son was a little guy, uh we we used to I I would have to fly places to go speak, and we'd always take snacks for him. And we had uh we had a little bag of cookies for him one time, and before we had even backed away, uh they did the pushback, he had all the cookies gone. And he just [laughter] said it. Just crumbs everywhere. Before takeoff. Before takeoff. I said, "What did you do?" Well, I had like these cookies, too, so I packed one for me. These are big homemade sugar cookies. And I said, "Did you eat both of those?" He said, "Yeah." Wow. I said, "Well, do you you don't have any for the rest of the trip." He goes, "Well, there's one." I said, "Well, that one is mine.
019You're not getting that." >> And so, he pouted for a little while. Well, pretty soon the airline attendant came on, she began to do the Yes. the the the safety announcements and the procedures, and she said this. She said uh "In the unlikely event of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks would drop from an overhead compartment." She said, "If you are traveling with young children, please put on your own oxygen mask before attending to them." Well, that brought him out of his >> [laughter] >> his pout. Right. >> said, "That's not fair." Yeah. I said, "What do you mean?" He goes, "Well, moms and dads are supposed to take care of the kids." He knew what our Mhm. And I thought, here's a teachable moment. I said, "Okay, well, you're not really thinking about
020this right." I said, "Now, think. If those drop, it's because the air in here isn't good to breathe." I said, "So, if I took time, Mom and I took the time to put our yours on first, we might pass out." I said, "And then, what would you do?" And he thought about it. He said, "I take your cookie." >> [laughter] >> Right back to the cookie. Okay. All right. So, I think there's actually a principle here. Not so much about the cookie, but if you're going to really attend to the needs of others, you've got to make a priority of tending to your needs first. So, if I'm feeling I'm out of balance, my resilience is down, I'm not feeling that joyful energy, I've got to make a priority of saying, "Hey, I've got to
021put something back in this tank because I'm not going to be good for the people I'm trying to lead, and I will lose sight Yes. >> why." Yeah. Yeah. Dave, so I'm hearing you give permission to these servant leaders to make sure that they're their best their best selves Right. >> so they can take care of the of the students, the the leaders that they have in their districts. >> Right. Nothing happens in isolation. Mhm. So, I don't have to control everything to influence everything. And so, when you're in that kind of position, it's going to have a residual effect. Everything is a cascade. So, if the people on the board or in leadership, uh if they're not in a good place, they're not in balance, that's going to be echoed, and it's going to
022reverberate through the different layers of the hierarchy and right down to the student experience and outcomes. Yeah. So, we really have to say, "What I'm doing to take care of me isn't selfish. Right. Right. >> It's critical, and it's strategy. Mhm. And so, even as we're talking about leaders, particularly on our boards, you know, unfortunately, conflict is part of it. As you said, the stresses the stresses are consistent, and conflict seems to be one of those that our board members deal with. Just from a high level, how would you tell board members to appropriately deal with conflict in a way that not only gets us to resolution, but also keeps the joy of serving? I think if we're going to really do that successfully and consistently, it can't start in the moment of conflict. It
023has to start before there's conflict. It's what are you putting into that relationship because this is really a matter of first of all, uh we've got we've got issues of trust, we have issues of uh personalities. These are individual relationships. And I think when we look at the conflict as this is the starting point, where do we solve it from here? It's No, no. If you think of a successful marriage, John Gottman. John Gottman is a marriage expert, and he can sit down with a couple and tell just from their exchange, just go ahead and talk, and he can tell from their exchange whether their marriage is in trouble. And he counts what is the ratio between the positive to the negative or neutral comment. >> Yes. And he says there's a magic ratio. And
024that magic ratio is if there's more than five to one of negative of positive to negative, if there's more negative on that lower end, uh you got troubles. Now, in the workplace, in board leadership, uh clearly it's not that intimate a relationship, but it's still very important to think and I've got to at least have three positives to every negative. Yes. So, it's not just about my attitude in the moment and how I the skills that I bring to conflict resolution, it's going to be what am I putting in the bank with gratitude, with recognition, with celebration, with play, and even laughter together that builds a healthy and robust relationship. Then when I have to have the tough conversations, I've got something in the bank. I've built up that capital. Yeah. Yeah. And so, you
025know, David, you're touching on something that's really critical because you're saying putting things in the bank, it can't uh that it can't happen right in the moment of conflict resolution. It has to be built up over time. >> Yes. But if I have that perspective, if that's I'm a board member and I come with that perspective, but yet I'm dealing with colleagues who may not necessarily agree with that approach, and they see this joy thing in this uh relational approach as a surface uh lack of necessity to be done between us, how do I convince my colleague that this is important, that we have to meet each other at this place? Right. Well, um let me make sure I understand. So, they're coming from a place you say where they don't really share necessarily that
026Okay. Okay. >> Um well, I think first of all, probably the most important part uh of any conflict resolution is do we feel legitimately heard? You know, I think that is such an important part because so much of conflict and all kinds of negative uh breakdowns in relationships um come from you're not hearing me. You're not seeing me. And just being able to have some of those soft skills of communication that say I understand what you're saying, right? And I'm going to I'm going to deal with not a personality here. I'm not I'm going to use not fixed language and say you are I'm not going to attack. I'm not going to I have some kind of ad hominem attack on you for us disagree, but to acknowledge I see where you're coming from. I
027don't agree for this reason or that reason, but to be able to acknowledge first a lot of times really diffuses. And then I I'm no expert in conflict resolution, you know, BUT I'M MARRIED. >> [laughter] >> THAT JUST MAY MAKE YOU AN EXPERT. Don't cut that out. CUT THAT OUT. >> [laughter] >> BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? WE WE WE HAVE A RELATIONSHIP. Anybody who's married knows it. Look, the relationship is sometimes yeah, you're going to have conflict. That's just part of it, right? What we don't lose sight of though and it doesn't mean that hey, we're not going to have any any cross words with one another, but we don't lose sight of the fact that um Hey, we care about the same things, you know? And if I can take a moment or she
028can to say I understand what you're trying to say, right? And to be able to be very clear about that a lot of times that's really where the conflict gets out of control because we can agree to disagree as long as you know, we go back to that why hey, we share the same why, right? How we're going to do this, but I know I mean if I'm trying to convince somebody that my way is right and there's is wrong. I can preach and I can I can prosecute. That's probably not going to change many minds. I may win the day because I've exhausted them, but I haven't changed any hearts or minds. The way you change hearts and minds is to to put in the necessary values value that they have to have in
029order to really feel like hey okay, I'm acknowledged. They've acknowledged that I also want the best for the students. You know, we agree here. And I think sometimes just enlarging upon here's our let's start from where we agree. Let's start where this Venn diagram intersects between you and I and then we can move from there because we both agree that neither of us are trying to do something nefarious. We're doing something that we truly do believe. So I I do believe that hey, that taking the time to understand someone else So one of the very simple answers to how do you do that is ask more questions. You know, it's just simple curiosity because we easily drop to judgment. And judgment once we get there now we're fighting a battle that probably a lot of
030times we just don't have to. But if we just have a little more curiosity. So walk me through this Mark. Tell me now you said this and I'm curious about that. How did you arrive at that? If I can draw out a lot of times what I'll find is you know that 80% I've read this and I was it made sense to me. 80% [clears throat] of all conflicts are the result of miscommunication. That it's not really that we disagree necessarily on something that's substantive. We are at odds about somehow the communication here has broken down. And so if I know that then I'm there's a little humility that goes with it to say maybe I don't understand everything. Let me ask more questions. I think that genuine curiosity that you speak of can make
031a huge difference. Um you know, and it it has to be genuine, right? You know, not not a facade, right? I've heard a lot of people talk about techniques that you can use. You know, use an I message. You the I when you say this I feel that. And I think you know, those actually are not bad bad ideas to keep in mind. The problem is most of us have a pretty good baloney detector. >> [laughter] >> THAT'S GOOD. AND WE KNOW WHEN WE'RE being treated with authenticity. And if you're not going to be authentic, if you're using it as a tactic, don't be surprised if it breeds more conflict. But if I'm genuinely curious, if I'm authentically interested in and invested in understanding so much can happen. So much can change. Yeah, that's amazing.
032So David, you know, we're so looking forward to having you part of be a live this year. You know, and our attendees will be watching this. Just share something with them to encourage them to be part of the conversation that you'll have with us. >> Well, I tell you what, I think it's important to understand the simple ingredients of what joy, if you're going to be a joyful servant leader, then I'm going to challenge you and we'll get into the nuts and bolts of this at at at the board leadership institute. But reflect on how you show up. You know, how am I showing up? Am I showing up with passion? With a my why intact with purpose. You know, when somebody told me one time said if you want to be a great teacher
033there really just two things you need to know. You need to have that's really just the the non-negotiables. One is you are passionate about the importance of what it is you're teaching. You really think man, this is critically important for you. This is going to serve you my those students. This is important. My passion has got to be evident. My enthusiasm. And the other thing is you have to genuinely care about those students. Man, you get those two right, a lot of other things fall into place. So how you show up. The next part is how you're going to step up because we're all all the time we're looking at opportunities for us to serve in smallest kindnesses and and ways that we can maybe come to the aid of someone else if I'm focused
034outward and I look for those, that becomes the legacy. And that becomes that capital that I'm building up because I'm stepping up in kindness and service to someone else. The third one is how you going to lift someone up. And this is where gratitude, recognition, celebration together brings people together and builds trust and connection. And then finally, how you going to lighten up? Fun, laughter, playfulness has got to be a part. Look, learning is a natural state of our brains. It should be fun. It should be fun from the board on down. Doesn't mean everything about it's fun and not and not stressful. Hey, you've got to deal with with budgets and and man, you're making decisions and yet you don't have any operational control necessarily. There's a lot. But it should be fun. Yeah.
035David, that's a great message. Listen, we're so excited to have you as part of board leadership institute this year. >> to be part of it. Thank you so much Mark. >> Thank you for partnering with us. We really look forward to having you here with us. So listen, I have some instructions for you. Go to ohio school boards.org. Be part of the board leadership institute May 8th and 9th at the Polaris Hilton. We are looking forward to having you there. David is going to be with us. Of course, we have some wonderful learning sessions that are going to be prepared for you. This is the institute for board members to attend. May 8th and 9th, go to our website. Be a part of board leadership institute this year. Thank you for being part of the
036OSBA forum and have a wonderful day.