001who had some technical difficulties. Um, my name is Steve Waldo. Uh, I'm the director of physical education, health, and athletics for the entire Brookfield School District. And I'm very happy that we have this back. Um, it's going to keep building and building um, and make it better. Thank you for everybody. Thank Thank you for everybody who's home watching. Um and thank you for everybody who's here. Um fresher form is very important to us and we want to make sure that all of our freshmen and their parents understand the resources that are available to them and any help that we can help any of the kids in any way, we're here for them. Um, I first want to um call up Brookfield Cares um which is one of our great great community services who offer so
002many great things for the kids. So, Mr. Jaffy So many questions. Thank you. Anyways, >> thanks for coming. Thank you for putting up with our tech issues here. Thank you. My name is Ron Jaffy. I'm with Brookfield Cares. Brookfield Cares is a nonprofit volunteer community-based organization. They get dedicated to creating awareness and positive change around the issues of substance misuse, depression, suicide, and other mental health condition concerns. We do this by engaging with all members of the community to reduce harmful behaviors, dstigmatize mental health issues, and promote and support healthy choices. And you can go to our website to learn more about us. Brookfield Cares works closely with the town schools. Here are just some of our efforts. We provide QBR training for suicide prevention. QBR stands for question, persuade, refer. We provide marketing training
003on how to to an opioid overdose. We make lock boxes available for prescription drugs, make them available to the community. We publish and distribute the parents guide to helping your child succeed. Uh we create posters on mental health and substance abuse issues for the school's town hall and the YMCA and a variety of other things. Our students recently took the attitudes and behavior survey developed by search institute. It provides data in a wide range of areas including alcohol and drug use, depression, suicide, gambling, vaping, online behavior, and much more. The survey pro survey provides actual data on what our students are telling us, not just national averages. This is the seventh time that Brookfield has participated in this survey. To see the complete report on the results, the report that we made to both the
004board of selecting and the board of education, you can go to our website and download the report, but I'll talk just a little bit about it right now. Students tell us that as a community we are strongest in the following assets. Positive peer influence, school engagement, family support, achievement, motivation, integrity, responsibility, time at home, and honesty. And just as an aside, the the assets, you know, search institute talks about 40 assets, uh, 20 internal assets and 20 external assets. And what they have found is that the more assets a student has, the less likely they are to go into trouble behavior. So it's important for us as a community whether it's families, the school, neighborhoods, whatever, to work to build assets. Students also tell us that they are weakest. We are weakest in assets including
005reading for pleasure, creative activities, the community valuing youth, parent involvement in schooling, youth being used as resources in the community, neighborhood boundaries, caring school climate, and caring neighborhood. A few other points of note. 97% of high school students feel using prescription drugs are that are not prescribed to them is wrong or very wrong. And 93% of high school students feel smoking marijuana marijuana will be disapproved of by their parents. 15% of high school students reported threatening physical harm to someone in the last 12 months. And 17% of high school students reported being in a car in the last 12 months with a driver who had been drinking. And just a note about that as well, this is all high school students, not just those who drive. And so it's reasonable to think that those who
006are younger were in a car with an older person, whether an older student or a parent. So, here's just some of the behaviors our students told us about in the survey. Used alcohol once or more in the past 30 days. And we have this reported by grade one in the last 12 months. Used a vaping device in the past 30 days or used a Zen device in the past 30 days. And these are numbers that are of concern and something we should take a look at. And for parents and guardians. New trends to know about, you know, new things that you may not have heard about, but that you should be aware of. Uh, smart vapes. Smart vapes are ecigarettes that include features typically found in smartphones such as touch screen, touch screens, digital displays,
007built-in games, and Bluetooth connectivity. Almost anything you can do on an iPhone can be done on on various types of smart vapes. Not all of them, but they certainly have the capacity. And if you're not aware of Zen, the Zen pouches are small, small smoke-free nicotine pouches placed between the gum limb available in various flavors and nicotine strengths. And I can tell you from walking my dog in my neighborhood, we are seeing Zen throwaways on the street in numbers that are pretty surprising. So, it's really out there. But there are resources available to you. Parent guides and information sheets are available to download on these websites. And this entire presentation will be available to download from the Brookfield Care's website. So, I encourage you to do that. But Brookfield Cares has a specific page for
008parent resources. Western Connecticut Coalition, who is a group that we work with very closely, also has resources. So, we encourage parents in general to be active in talking to your children with facts and understanding. So, what can parents and caregivers do? Talk early and often. Establish policies early on and be consistent in setting expectations and enforcing rules. Work with other parents to monitor where kids are gathering and what they're doing. Be aware of our state's laws about providing alcohol to your own children and never provide alcohol to someone else's children. Understand your influence as as a parent and talk to your kids often. And these points are taken from the parents guide to helping child succeed. If you don't have a copy, we have extra copies on the table here. So feel free to stop
009by and and see what we have here. Search Institute also has a family oriented website that provides a wealth of resources for parents including set family goals together, strategies to prevent alcohol and tobacco use, manage money well. Again, they are a search institute is a national program highly respected. So I thank you for your time. I thank you for paying attention and coming tonight or watching. So thank you very much to the schools. >> Thank you. And now I'd like to introduce Katherine Brago, one of our assistant principles. talk about some of the resources that are available to families and students in school. >> Good evening everyone. Thanks again for bearing with us as we navigate through some tech difficulties. Um I am going to try to make my part a little bit quicker because
010I don't want to take away from some of our other great presenters. Um I'm just going to briefly give an overview of the high school resources and supports that are available to not just ninth graders but all students. So when it comes to mental health like what do you have available to you in terms of faculty? We have five school counselors here. Four of them are working um with students assigned by last name and they stay with their students throughout all four years. They're able to really get to know them intimately um and offer a comfortable space for students to go when they need help. We also have one who focuses on college and career counseling um who you will get to meet throughout your four years as well and help you prepare for life
011beyond high school. We have two licensed school social workers. We have one school psychologist and we also have a schoolbased health center clinician which I'll give you some more info on in a bit if you don't know what that is to give you some faces to just put to some names. Um, these are our counselors, our social workers, and our school psychologist. And in terms of the school-based health center, um, your child or you students can take advantage of mental health services that are here for you and you can do that throughout your school day. We usually try to pull you out during a study hall or during ILT time to not miss classes. Um, but it is a huge advantage to parents, especially if it's difficult to get to uh mental health services outside
012of the school day. Um, you would have paperwork that you fill out. Um, and once you have that permission, you're able to access these services. There's a list of various therapy topics that support could be given around. Um, and while the SPHC is housed here in Brookfield High School, it is a separate entity. Um, we'll go ahead and share this presentation out to everybody so you have this as well. There's a few links in this slide when you get to it that just gives you more resources that are in depth. If you're wondering a little about what does my counselor do for me, there's the role of it explained there for you. If you want to see some specific um events that will take place throughout the year here at Brookfield High School, you can
013look at the department calendar and curriculum. Um, when it comes to crisis intervention, um, that's a critical thing that we take very seriously. um assessments for self harm, suicidal ideiation, and related things are taken care of with our clinical staff. Um and they often will do that in partnership with emergency mobile psychiatric services or 211. And then there's also a ton of examples of community resources for you and some links there as well. All right, and that is it for me. Thank you, Katherine. Um, and now we would like to welcome Jeff McKenna of the Western Connecticut Coalition who's going to speak to us on a very hot topic um, gambling awareness um, amongst teenagers. Thank you. Well, good evening everybody and thank you for having I am Jeff McKenna. I am from the Western
014Connecticut Coalition that Ron mentioned a few minutes ago. We are a prevention organization that takes care of 43 towns in Northwest Connecticut, including Growfield. And I'm glad to be here. So, why am I here today? And as it was mentioned, this is becoming a massive problem. is to increase awareness to you, start a conversation that you can do within your families, share resources, and hopefully keeping your child out of the headlines like these guys did. The Connecticut Lottery for Holidays is give a child a toy and not a ticket. And the National Council on Problem Gambling is uh doing their own which is called Too Young to Bet. and they have too young to scratch off, too young for sports betting, and too young for casinos. So, there's quite a bit of information there, and
015you can visit those. Um, citing Brookfield Care's results. Um, when I was with them in October and saw the results being presented, of course, I'm looking at gambling. Um, and what I did notice is that current behaviors section, there was a rise of 9% for gambled once or more. the last 12 months at WMS and higher 11% here at high school. Um those are numbers that caught my attention, but they're not devastating. Nationally, nearly 66% of youth between the ages of 12 and 18 report they have gambled in the last 12 months. And I'm also going to cut quick. Um, another slide they had that I took note of uh was under the more points of note section and it said that 24% of was middle school and 22% of Brookfield High School students had
016gambled or and that meant lottery tickets or tabs bet money on sports teams or card games. And while I'm listening to that going on, I'm thinking of the next part which was 81% of the middle school and 77% of the Brookfield High School students use a computer, cell phone or tablet to email, play games, etc. So that might be why that number is so high right now. So how is gamble? Gambling defined. Gambling is risking something of value on an activity that has an uncertain outcome. And that could be as simple as changing a tire on 84 and it happens to be on your driver's side. Um, there's not many people here, so I'm going to hope you can do this. What different kinds of legal gambling is there in Connecticut? >> Here's some of
017them. You got some of them already. I never hear stock market in this kind of forum. And I'm pretty sure a lot of you didn't think of like huboo, but that is also a form of gambling. Um, everybody knows about tournament brackets, especially around March. Day trading is something that is often overlooked, but I spoke at a high school yesterday and that is a problem at that high school and political outcomes is finally over for a little while. So, what is disordered? Is this gambling? How many of you kids remember playing this? Referring back to the definition of gambling, risking something of value on an activity that is has an uncertain outcome. How many quarters did those machines eat before you got a stuffed animal where you ran out of quarters? Definitely form of gambling.
018So, there's three kinds of definitions for disordered gambling, which touch on now. Gambling. We've already talked about problem gambling is a pattern of gambling engagement that is so extreme it causes an individual to have important problems in various aspects of their lives. And then for gambling disorder that's a clinical term relating to a score assessed by a professional appra. So I put up some famous well-known logos of different things and in your mind I'd like you to figure out if it's a gaming with a gambling component, if it's just or if it's neither. I'll give you two seconds. Let's see how you did. Everybody get those right? I'm just going to show you this next slide real quick. When it comes to roadblocks, be careful. I want you all to do some research and Google
019or whatever you want to on Roblox lawsuit and they might change your mind about doing Roblox for Christmas or other gifts. We also are partnered with the problem gambling Connecticut council on problem gambling and we offer this powered up course to both adults and children. So the powered up player is for ages 10 to 18. So, just do it on your own time. And same for the parents. The parents one kind of shows you how to set up boundaries and how to talk to your kids about games. And for the player, um, that's how they can learn how to develop healthy habits so they're not gaming all the time. And that is free. If you scan that QR code, if you were to sign up for both the parent and player, you'd save $99. If
020you just player or parent, it's $59 each. What are the risks to the four cards that I have here? One of the worst ones is this one right here. If you give a kid a scratch off ticket and they win big on the first one, that sets in motion a pattern that they're going to think they're going to win every time they get one. The one that is concerning right now is downloading sports betting apps on your mobile device. The reason most is like if you're a freshman and you download it on your cell phone, there is really no age verification. So that's one of the things we're working on with the legislature to get that loophole fixed. So what negative effects can disorder gambling cause? It can impact many areas of a person's life.
021Financial, obviously, psychological and emotional. If you don't win as often as you'd like, you feel kind of down on yourself, you're a loser, whatever. um physical health. You're probably spending more time playing the games on your phone than you are taking care of yourself. And if you're doing that, obviously you're not out doing social things with friends and whatever. Um somebody that has a job and is in this disorder gambling problem, they may have the temptation to embezzle from the company they work for. And then for education, obviously, if you're not sleeping and taking care of yourself, your performance in school is going to drop. Consequently, there might be some legal issues depending on how bad you get into it. And some people get into trouble so bad that they turn to another substance to
022allevate their pain. Basically, for every one person that is diagnosed with healing disorder, that affects 7 to 20 people in their circle and goes out to their community. I'm just going to show this slide, let you read it, and see what stands out to you. pretty much everything I talked about, but you'll notice every single one of those is double digits. You know, gambling is a safe thing to do. And the one that really caught my attention early on in my career with this domestic violence, and we're working on a program now, hopefully launching in January. But the one that stood out to me was 15% of those who suffer from problem gambling admit to being children. That's got to stop. So, some of the warning signs I put eight here. Failing to escape. Gambling
023causes problems. Failing to relax, borrowing money, feeling stressed, keeping secrets, chasing losses, and can't quit. Three of them are typical teenage behavior. So, you got to watch as a parent what may be happening in your child's life. Could be they're borrowing money for real or they could be borrowing money to cover stress. I mean, that's typical now. secrets. That's just a normal teenage thing. Why is gambling called the hidden addiction? It's very difficult to diagnose a hidden addiction unless somebody sort of self-reports or you're up to speed on how to read the signs. There is no biological test. There's no urine breathalyzers or anything like that. You can't smell someone's breath. And red eyes may not what we all are used to thinking. It might be just that somebody's been watching their phone and gambling
024overnight for a long time. Um, outwardly appears as a money problem. Someone might be asking to borrow money, but it could be just poor financial management or not. We don't know until down a little bit. Um, this is not a self-limiting addiction. You cannot overdose. The person continue to gamble as long as they have a source of money. That's where you have to be cautious. And the irony of it all, the problem can be solved with a big win. Right now, there's a total lack of awareness, but it's getting better as we do community forums such as this or if we go to legislature and really try to support our kids. The effects of gambling on mental health amongst which is basically what your kids are experiencing symptoms of anxiety. Yes. Depression possibly aggression possibly
025and antisocial behavior possibly. They are all at risk for developing problematic behaviors. I want you to read these slides on your own and let me know what you think. This number here really caught my attention when this came up. So you got twoirds of age 12 to 18 say they have gambling in the previous year. That's national. You guys are what? It might look you're not that bad compared to these again. Read the slides. See which one really stands out to you. Most people would agree it's the right one. So yeah. So people that are diagnosed with gambling addiction or gambling disorder, literally half of them have sought suicidal ideation, out of that 17% attempted suicide. And I found out just last week in the military where they have slot machines on every base, anybody
026that's discharged and they've actually had to talk to that 17% number is actually 40. All right. So, responsible gambling describes the way in which games of chance are both offered and participated in a socially responsible way that lowers the risk of harm. What can you do for gambling harms? The best way obviously is to avoid risk of gambling is do not gamble. But if you're going to play, there are ways to play it safe. Set limits in of time and money you're willing to spend and stick to it. Take breaks. Borrow money to gamble, educate yourself on how the games work, and view gambling as entertainment, not as a way to make money. So, what is the legal age in Connecticut? There's three. There's no age restrictions on like a church gambling bingo thing. Video
027arcades are no age restriction, including in the casinos. 18 is the bingo, the kino, off track betting and lottery and 21 is casino gambling, sports betting and we are working with the legisle again to get the 18 up to 21. You can do a photo up here if you have your phones. You can be aware of these common terms line parlay spread against the spread over. So what can you do as parents have conversations? We cannot stress that enough. Be curious. Ask them why they play these games and research the games yourself. Find the parental controls and set them. Ask how the game is played. Sit with your while they're playing and engage them. Ask them if there is a communication in the game. If there is a chat, is it private or public? Ask
028who they are playing, gamers or friends. And if they say friends, ask the last name of the friend. to be a friend on the game. Learn about and monitor the game and always talk with your students and your kids about friends versus followers versus stranger on social media all for and credit that to Dr. If you want to do some monitoring apps on your cell phone, find the parental controls on the device and the game and set them. Many different monitoring apps are on the market. These are just a few. I want you to do your research and you find the one that best works for you. So, where to get help? There isn't a whole lot for kids under 18 in the state right now. We're working on that. The one website I do
029recommend is game quitters to start. A guy named Kair got into serious financial problems and was almost suicidal in 2011 when he shared his story online and realized this. Great resources on here. If you're a parent and you have insurance, reach out to your insurance company. Often they can recommend or if your employer has an employee assistance program, you can reach out to them as well. The standard adult programs that are in Connecticut like CCPG probably helpline, NCCA, Better Choice Clinics, they will be able to reached out to and they can have conversations with you recommendations. Best one is to self-exclude yourself from this and the two tribes as well as the state have a self-exclusion program. You can sign yourself up excluded for a year, five years or a lifetime. And if you are
030signed up on this list and you on either casino in Connecticut, they will escort you off the casino. Connecticut council on gambling has the They have text help which is to type in CT53342 and they do a live chat on their website. But I do recommend if you are looking for somebody to help you out locally MCCA is probably one of the best. Reach out to Earl Sanford and we will be able to get you the services you need. We also reach back to existing inatient services for disorder. Hopefully you all know this number. It's not just a suicide hotline. It's also a crisis. So if you find yourself in crisis or anything, reach out to 98. Here's our resource page. And for your folks, this is a way to have a discussion with your
031kids. If you want to take a picture of this QR code later, Thank you. Okay. Now, I'd like to bring up um our speakers from Generation SOS who are here to speak to us tonight and we look forward to them tonight and when we have um them coming to meet with our 10th and 12th graders. Thank you. Hi everyone. Um, I'm Robin Aviv and I'm the founder of Generation SOS and I'm going to tell you in a minute what that's all about. I just want to say, you know, listening to all of the the folks who presented before uh me, you know, it's what I what what I know and I heard it uh a lot from their presentations is that it's really hard to be a kid today. There are so many new things
032that were not around when when I was a kid. And um they're so dangerous. They're so tempting. They're everywhere. And how do you decide, you know, what to do, what not to do? And um you hopefully we we can uh talk a little bit about what we do that might help um the kids realize that there are resources out there as these wonderful folks stated, but um there's a lot of ways to identify things that'll make you gravitate towards unhealthy behaviors. Um, I'm going to ask a really big favor before we start. And um, do would it be possible for you guys to move up closer into into the front rows because it's much better for us? We would have a really intimate conversation. It would be so much better if everybody was sort of
033up close and personal with us. Do you think that would be okay? You guys move forward. This way we can have a really wonderful sort of intimate chat together. Um, and I know it's going to help me and I think it's our speaker as well. I really appreciate that. Come on, come on down. We're having just, you know, kind of an informal chat and we need you guys to be part of our chat. That'd be great. >> Thanks, guys. Um, so, uh, as I said, I'm the founder of Generation SOS and I want to tell you what we do because what, um, these presentations were so great. um the ones that were here were presented before uh me but I was it sounds like they were really more geared towards the parents and what we're
034doing today is really geared much more geared towards the kids. Um so what is generation SOS? It's a peer-to-peer organization where we empower uh teens and young adults, students like yourselves to make healthy choices around substances and mental health. And we do this through the power peer-to-peer storytelling. Um, and what you're you're going to hear today, um, is somebody not that much older than you guys who's going to share his personal story through a challenging time. And I'm going to guess, uh, you're going to be able to relate maybe not to all of the his actions, but to a lot of his feelings. The SOS in our name stands for SOS as you know it, but also more importantly, it stands for sharing our stories. It's really un uh important to understand that mental health
035struggles play a big role in someone's decision to make unhealthy choices and possibly use or misuse substances. Things everyday feelings, things like stress, which I'm guessing some of you guys going into nth grade may be feeling. um depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, eating challenges, pressure from school, from sports, and here's a big one. How about social media? That's something that that I know you guys are all feeling pressure. I feel pressure about social media. And for some people, turning to substances can feel like an easy solution to this, but but it it's not. And I I love what your definition of gambling, which was risking something of value um on an uncertain outcome. And to me, that's what substances kind of were all about because you really don't know how that's going to end. And unfortunately,
036with substances, it can have a fatal outcome. Um but anyway, back to what we do here. Um, what makes Generation SOS so unique is that it's young people reaching out to young people to share their stories and open up a conversation about topics that are not easily talked about. You know, for us, by by sharing stories and asking questions, we can teach each other life lessons and offer coping strategies. Um, important to note that generation SOS does not preach abstinence. we're instead we're about awareness and safety and we just want to have create a community that's safe and and is a community of support. Um we provide a safe space to talk about these mental health challenges and substance use without shame or stigma. To give you a bigger sense of or better sense of
037the big picture, here are some important statistics to consider. Half of all teens today will experience a serious mental health challenge at some point. And often these struggles can lead to substance misuse and even addiction. Addiction and overdose are the leading cause of death for people under 30. 90% of the time substance misuse does start during adolescence. And shockingly many people start using or misusing substances because of doctor prescribed medications like things for sports injuries or sometimes wisdom teeth removal. Um lastly, due to the shocking rise of fentinel waste drugs, a student doesn't have to have a problem with a substance to die. They can be experimenting for the first time and that's sometimes all it takes. Um I also just want to say a quick note about um weed, which is everywhere and it's
038legal for adults. Um weed is not like your parents weed that they were smoking. Um today's weed is so much stronger. It can be addictive and it can be fatal um if it's laced with fentinel. Um and frequent use of of smoking weed is often linked to an increase in psychosis. So it really really can be very very dangerous. Uh but a generation SOS we truly believe that stories speak louder than statistics. So I'd like to show a short video um that explains a little more about what we do. Let me just see if I can just I think that the first thing that people need to know when they're struggling is that they're not alone. You're being called names for being uh, you know, vulnerable. And then I just felt like I couldn't share
039anything with anyone. >> Whether you've ever had a drink or drug in your life or whether you've ever seen anyone struggle or not, there are coping strategies for you. There's ways to learn about being compassionate for others in your life who might be struggling. And there are things you can do to help pretty much everybody in your community. Now that we've done several hundred of these meetings and presentations in school, how many kids will come up to us and and pour their hearts out and say, "This is the first time I've told anybody about this, whatever this might be, depression, anxiety, substance issues." >> I had a really great experience speaking at a high school in New York City for Generation SOS. And I think my opinion or what I was expecting going in just
040because I was this type of kid in high school who would have been making fun of the speaker causing disruptions and I was just astounded at not only how serious um all these students took this concept um but the questions they had. >> You don't have to go through that experience. I'm here to let people know that like might be on the cusp. It doesn't have to be that. But I know who Brent cuz it allows me to be like max of loose today. >> I have to share my story so that you know people who feel like uh they got stuff going on like they're they're able to feel comfortable to talk about it. >> Very very grateful for generation SOS because you know if I had this what happens your age you know
041I would have had that seat collected for me earlier but you know you guys have it. In addition to bringing our presentations to school assemblies at the club level, the kids are able to continue the conversation all throughout the year. >> The kids identified and said, "No, we we want to come together with like-minded students and keep talking about these issues to your point because it's not one and done. The issues don't go away. Start a dialogue, create that sense of community, and and the healing starts at that very minute. It's kind of simple, but it works. All these things can feel so overwhelming when in fact all you need to do is talk with someone else and there will always be somebody that will listen. Whether it's a teacher, whether it's me on Instagram,
042whether it's generation SOS. I think when I can share my story and when I can say something that is impactful or someone can relate to, I think that's really that for me has always been what connects to me the most emotionally. It's how can I use my experience to help someone going through the same thing or how can I just show up as a person that's active in someone else's life in a positive way. I am living proof that I can get through it because to tell you the truth I thought that was the end of it cuz before I feel like I was alone but now I understand I'm not alone. So the format of today's We're going to have a wonderful speaker share about his experience. Um, and then we're going to after
043his talk, we're going to open up for questions. And I don't know if we can ask live questions. I don't know if we're going to do the cards or not. Um, and without further ado, please help me welcome Thank you so much, Robin. Hi, everybody. My name is Ben. It's very nice to be here with you all tonight. Thank you for all the speakers who brought very meaningful messages and I know that myself personally and Generation SOS more broadly are very grateful for the opportunity to get in front of folks. And I know for myself personally, the idea of getting up in front of a group of people regardless of the size and being open and honest about my struggles was very very low on my list of things I wanted to do when I
044was in high school. And I very similar to all the different things that have been called out today. I I struggled with many various things throughout my youth and continue to today. But I'm so incredibly grateful to be able to be up here and share a little bit of my story. I really hope it's helpful. And for me, the journey of addiction and mental health challenges really started when as far back as I can remember. I remember this feeling of, you know, I came from a very loving household and was really fortunate that I had pretty much everything I I needed. I never went without and I had very loving parents, a very supportive community. I grew up in a small town in Connecticut and a great school system. But throughout that entire process, I
045always just felt like I didn't know how to get through life. And I remember feeling very fearful about the future, about how I would navigate, whether it be third grade, fourth grade, fifth grade, how I would make friends. I was very in my head and there were definitely moments that were a lot of fun all throughout that process, but I I do remember distinctly feeling like I just I just didn't know how to get through life when it seemed like all my other friends and all these other people around me were able to just navigate it so easily. And I also never really felt good enough. So no matter how much love I received from my parents or from the community, I just never felt like I as I was was good enough or worthy
046of love. And so what I ultimately tried to do was to prove to folks uh that I could be part of the popular crowd or that I could be a good friend or that I would be good at sports. And I put this pressure on myself from an early age. And I wake up each morning with this kind of chatter in my head of okay, what are what are all the things you're going to do today? What didn't you write yesterday? And the pressure at school was certainly real. My parents had a had high expectations and I knew throughout my entire life that their expectations were that I would be to get into college and to go to a four-year school. And that was something that I was aware of and definitely mindful of as
047I navigated middle school. And I found sports which thank thankfully for me was a blessing and enabled me to fit in a bit more socially whereas before I I didn't really feel like I had many friends and when I started to play sports I found a friend group and they were giving me the validation that I really wanted in order to feel connected and ultimately that group of friends started to explore substances and it was very important to me to fit in with that group of friends and I also have substance misuse addiction and alcoholism in my family. So, I knew what that was like. I'd been around adults that had been drinking way too much. I'd been in situations where as a kid I saw things I I definitely shouldn't have. And alcohol was
048just part of the culture that I was around. But I I knew that the way certain adults drank and used other substances was not attractive to me. But at the same time, I really wanted to fit in with this group. And I still had a lot of this fear and anxiety. And so I experimented and very quickly I learned that I couldn't use alcohol in a safe way. I would drink way too much. I ended up getting in trouble. The very first time my friends and I drank, we stole a car and totaled it. And that was not something that Sober Ben would have ever done. I would never have found myself in that situation. And I was just very fortunate that I didn't end up having more severe consequences as a result of that.
049But ultimately what that taught me was, okay, if I'm going to drink, I need to hide it and I need to do it in a way that people aren't going to be able to see where this won't happen again. And I'll also need to start exploring with other substances that won't potentially get me in as much trouble. And that was certainly weed. And what I found from all these substances was that that fear and the anxiety and the stress that I was carrying really went away when I started to drink and to smoke. And to be honest, I didn't drink or smoke or do any of these other things for the way that I felt when I was high or drunk. It was for the way that I felt when I was sober. And really,
050it was just this gnawing feeling inside, this anxiety, like I didn't fit in. I had a lot of friends, but I didn't necessarily feel like it. I didn't feel like I could connect. I had parents that really loved and cared about me and tried to connect me. They would, you know, believe I started seeing a therapist when I was probably 14 or 15. And I was never honest with them. And ultimately, I found that I I could just self-medicate by taking these various substances. And I also grew up in, like I said, a home that it was very clear to me that I needed to do well in school in order to keep my parents happy. And so, I was always very polite to teachers. I never I wasn't a class clown, didn't cause trouble,
051got good grades, but all of that was to just protect this medication that I found, right? To protect my ability to continue to drink and smoke. And so, I was really living two different lives. And at the same time, I was also beginning to get become more and more depressed and to feel disconnected. And the only time I felt happy was when I was drinking or smoking. And I show up to school each day or I show up to my parents. I kind of put on this mask and I wouldn't tell them what was really going on. Some of my friends knew, but ultimately they were all struggling with similar things. And I thought as long as I kept the outsides looking the way that the community expected, then I would be okay. But I
052started to have serious health issues. I had developed stomach ulcers by the time I was 16. And I was playing football and would just lie about my drinking and drug use so that nobody would question it. Uh I gave up. It wasn't like I was going to be a superstar, but there were potential opportunities for me to play sports in college that I didn't pursue because I knew that if I did, I wouldn't I I'd have to address the health issues that I had that were a direct result of my substance misuse. And throughout that entire time, I'm just feeling more and more like there's something really wrong with me. And the only thing that made me feel better was the substance itself was the drinking and the drug use. And ultimately regard it didn't
053matter how many folks in my life were showing up or being supportive. It I didn't invite them into any of the things that were going on. And over time the same friends that I started smoking and drinking with began to see that I had a problem. and they, you know, we would be drinking or doing something together and they would start to say that we're really worried about you. And that was a certainly a red flag, but at the same time, I didn't want to live with the anxiety. I didn't want to have the fear, the depression, all those things. I didn't want to not be part of that crowd of kids that could go and do the fun party, you know? I didn't want to have to give all that up. And I was
054also just really scared of what my life would look like without all those things. And so, I didn't address it. I went off to college. I got into the college that my family wanted me to get into. Not necessarily at a specific school, but in general, there's this expectation of like you will go on to this next thing. And and I checked that box and I did that. And I'm the kind of person that wants to put in C plus effort and get an A. And I've consistently figured out how to do that throughout various points of my life. and I got to college. Um, made the deans list, did the things that I needed to do, but again, all of that was just to keep people off my back because at this point, people
055started to realize that I had an issue. And it's amazing to look at the lineup of folks who just spoke before me. It's such a gift that these resources are available. And while I'm sure some of these resources were available to me, I was certainly not looking for any of them. And there were members of my community, including my parents, that would love to take advantage of these kind of resources. And a lot of people, they just didn't know what to do with me. And so essentially, it's like, hey, if you're still getting the good grades and doing whatever you need to do, we're just going to let you try and figure it out and we'll be as loving and supportive as we can. We don't know what to do. And ultimately, I found that
056the drinking and smoking weed wasn't enough to give me the relief, right? that self- medication wasn't working anymore and I found myself very quickly addicted to opiates and went from deans list at the college I wanted to go to to less than six months, you know, to dropping out of school in my first semester of my sophomore year to ending up at a pawn shop with my brother's Christmas presents. And that was the progression. And for somebody who's like, "Wait, this isn't supposed to be happening to me." you know, I'm the guy that's on the deans list. I'm reliable. I'm all these things. Before you know it, I was really in trouble. And I was so fortunate that at that point, I was introduced to a lot of the resources that were mentioned here today.
057And I found a community of people who had similar struggles. And I did not want any part of it initially. I I saw a therapist. I went through an intensive outpatient. I did some inpatient treatment. And throughout that entire time, I just didn't want to look at this. And basically said, "Hey, if I can get everybody, I don't have a problem. It's the fact that these other folks are, my parents included, are all telling me I have an issue that's a problem. If I could just get them off my back, then I'd be fine." And ultimately, I found a way to get back into school and to get my life to be a little bit better. But while there, I started to realize that, oh man, I'm not able to self-medicate. The things that I
058was doing before aren't working. And so now I'm still alone, still fearful. The substances I've been leaning on as a crutch for a long time aren't helping me anymore. And I was really desperate. And I was again like I said really lucky that I started to be introduced to these folks in the community who had similar experiences and were more than willing to put a hand out and help me to navigate that part of my journey once I became willing. And I got sober at 20 years old. I thought my life was over. I thought it would it felt like a death sentence at the time. Like how am I I'm not even going to be able to drink legally. I'm not going to be able to do any of these things. uh all my
059friends still went out and drank and it really it felt devastating to me at the time and it was a big part of my identity. I I really liked being the person that in school could be polite and do what I needed to do uh but then at outside could be like the life of the party and the cool kid and part of that crowd. And to not have that was really devastating to me. And if I could go back and just tell myself at 20 years old, hey, if you choose this path of recovery and continue to invite in these people that are trying to help you, your life will be incredible. And you know, 10 years from now, you'll have this big checklist of things that you could never even envision at this
060point. And I'm incredibly grateful that today I'm married. I have a great career. I am very close with my family, which is such a gift. My relationship with my brother has been repaired. I'm able to show up for him and to really just be of service to the people in my life today and and to feel connected for so much of my life. Like I said, I felt so isolated and I could be hanging out in a room full of people and not not feel connected to anyone. And now today, there's so many folks in my life that I can tell my deepest darkest secrets to that I can lean on with all these different things. And some of the coping strategies that work for me really well today are again really building that network
061of people who I trust implicitly that I can share everything with and I you know still act as a therapist. I'm very involved very much involved in groups and do everything I possibly can including coming to speak at Generation SOS to carry that message and to give back the gifts that have been given to me throughout this process. But I I do want to just emphasize that if at any point you're starting to question your relationship with substances and potentially starting to worry about whether or not you might have an issue. There are folks here that are more than willing to support you just like so many of the people before me stated. and that having a substance abuse issue or mental health issue is not a death sentence. It's not it doesn't have to
062be a death sentence that you can live this really beautiful life. And I'm so grateful today that I have the chance to come back and talk with you all. I really hope that you have some questions and I'd be more than happy to take some time afterwards too if you'd prefer to just come up oneonone after the the session. available. But again, very grateful for your time and attention tonight. Glad you all came and I look forward to answering some questions. >> First, thank you. Um, I'm curious as to like the forms of opioids you chose to pursue and if it ever progressed from like when you started. >> Thank you for the question. Yes, I it did progress and to be totally honest, it just started casually and I I look at the survey
063results here and I was definitely the kid who was like, "Oh, no. I don't do any of this." on the survey but was actually exposed to a lot and by the time I was 16 we were exposed to Percoet which at that time was produced by these big pharma companies so it wasn't cut fentinol necessarily or some of those things and I would just do that somewhat casually from like 16 to 18 and then once I actually found myself fully dependent on opiates I experimented and really as a result of just lack of funds ultimately ended with heroin and that was the progression for me. It was something like, oh, I'll never do that. That won't be me. And very quickly, it also happened within my friend group. There were multiple other folks who had
064a very similar path where, you know, we'd be going to the varsity basketball game and taking a pill and then all of a sudden it became multiple folks dropping out of school and it was a slow but serious escalation. to communicate that to a lot of my health students about how it kind of begins with prescription drugs and how it can really quickly become such a dependency that you can't get them kids no matter what they thought they would never do the same all that I appreciate you. >> Yeah, of course. >> Yes, in the back. >> I have a question. So, um, obviously we have some parents here and there's some parents at home and obviously your story was really connected and I appreciate being so vulnerable, open, and sharing that that with us.
065It's not an easy thing to do, but as a parent myself and thinking about those things, are there things you can suggestions you can give to parents um things to be available for to look out for to anything we could do to support um kids that were concerned or worried about? So, there are many different resources. I'd say from my own personal experience, what I found was there were a few parents and from really parents of friends who could see what was happening in our friend group and would pull me off to the side. And so I think ultimately what benefited me and those was folks having difficult conversations. And so they suspected something and even if you know my mask was up or I was blatantly lying directly to them, they would still take
066the time to pull me off and have that difficult conversation as opposed to just saying, "Well, you know, like as opposed to just giving me the benefit of the doubt." And at the time, obviously, that was really frustrating and I didn't react in a way that I'd be proud of now. But it was it was important for me to know that folks were noticing and that something was wrong. And I know for myself personally particularly drug use is very much tied to money. And so if you're starting to see expenses that don't line up. So like an example would be the amount of money that we would get to go to the movie theater not at that point it's like we'd have to buy all the popcorn in the in the place in order to
067spend that amount of money. And so just little mismatched things like that little warning signs. And I think also just letting your kids know that you're available to talk about this. And often it's not necessarily going to be your child that has this, but it could be within a friend group. And that open line of communication is really important. And I know for myself, I was really grateful that my parents and other folks were I I did feel comfortable going to them eventually as opposed to just continuing to deny it and hide it. for you to find help. >> I there were many and I feel very fortunate that I had this support network. I will say that was a big part of it. I started to receive support long before I was willing to
068receive it. And I ultimately found that the relief that I was getting from the substances was no longer working. And so the consequences started to mount over time. And the life I was living was not congruent with who I wanted to be as a person. And for the long as long as I was willing to or able to put that mask on and say, "Hey, look, you know, I still have this GPA and I'm in this school and everything's great." Like I I was not willing to look at it. But over time, it became clear, no, this is going to prevent me from being able to live the life that I want to live. And I started to recognize the problem isn't these people who are telling me I need to change. It's actually the
069fact that I'm living this way. And I will say I'm incredibly grateful to a therapist I had who I'm still close with to this day who was really the first person in my life to not say, "Ben, you have a problem." He was he said, "Okay, Ben, based on what you want to get out of your life, what do you think is a reasonable expectation to set around your substance use?" And that looked initially like allowing me to continue to smoke weed or just not immediately coming out and saying, "Oh, I won't work with you if you're continuing to do that." So, he really just held a mirror to me. And what I found was that I would make these commitments to him where nobody was forcing me. And I'd say, "Oh, okay. I don't
070want to smoke as much anymore, or I don't want to smoke before 12:00 p.m. new, you know, noon, and I I couldn't follow through on the commitments I'd set for myself." And so, ultimately, I realized that this isn't working as well anymore. And I was part I was already in that community of folks that were doing well. And thankfully, you know, one day I woke up and was willing to do some of the things that the day before I wasn't willing to do. No, sorry. I thought I saw a hand. No. Okay. You know when you are going through a tough time feelings or something that you use? >> Sure. The most important one that I still continue to use in my life today is is really the people and the network that I have.
071And so I am very quick to pick up the phone and to be I'm so blessed that today I have a lot of folks I can be completely honest with. And if I'm really struggling with something, reaching out for help is the first piece. On top of that, I'm also very active in communities where if I don't show up for a week or so, people are going to say, "Hey, you know, where where is Ben?" And they'll call and check on me. So even if I'm not at a point where I'm going to reach out, I have close friends in my life that will call and say, "Hey Ben, are you okay?" So that's another component of it. I know for me physical health is a big piece as well. And so having a routine
072is very important. And part of that's working out. Part of it's also being curious or open-minded to various spiritual things and other avenues. But I'd say in general really heavily relying on people is my biggest coping skill. >> Have a question. >> Sorry. You just spoke about your community that was huge and still is. >> How like what was the initial connection with them and then what did you do to help that grow? So the initial connection was one that I didn't want, which was through that IOP and that therapist where I was essentially dragged into the these communities of folks that were already working on their challenges with mental health and substance abuse. And they were very welcoming and supportive. So much so that even before I was really ready to make any change,
073they continued to just welcome me back. And so I know for example like all many of the resources that were discussed before would be great entry points into some of those communities and it was really important for me to have other young people. So I got sober at 20 and within a few months I had over 10 close friends who were also young and sober. And you'd be amazed now I I know folks in the sober community that are getting sober at 14, 15, 16. And when you ask for help from that initial point of contact, they can very quickly introduce you to other folks. And again, I wasn't ready for those introductions initially, but over time I've continued to foster them and and build those relationships. So, if you are looking for that community,
074I would highly recommend just reaching out to some of the folks that you know are in your network and then they'll be able to connect you with other young people that advice you were young and fitting in. What advice would you give to those? >> I'd say the biggest is that you're not alone and that there are folks that are or many folks are their job is to actually help you, right? They're getting paid to do that. But outside of that, there are many folks where I didn't feel comfortable talking to anybody at school about it. I was just never going to tell people what I was what my drinking or substance use was in a school setting. But there are many folks outside of that that don't necessarily have any authority or the ability
075to like could potentially get me in trouble. So I would say if you're feeling that way, then tell somebody. It could be your best friend, right? It doesn't have to be somebody that's uh in an authority figure necessarily, but I will say too, I was very pleasantly surprised by how many people were able to share I was able to share that with in a comfortable way without feeling judged or without feeling like somebody's going to hold something over my head. >> So, you were lucky, but I'm sure you saw a lot of people stats at the end. How many of those people were around to be totally frank? I said to be totally frank, the majority. It's not and then that's why it is serious and it's important to talk about it because um you
076know if it was just an occasional member of the group that that happened to then we wouldn't be devoting all the time and resources to it. Unfortunately, it is really serious and I do view myself as really fortunate. Again, alcoholism addiction was in the community I grew up in and I will say there's more resources today than there have ever been. And the communities that have sprouted in order to serve the needs of young people that are struggling with mental health and addiction are beautiful and amazing. But at the same time, it's it's a really serious issue and there are many folks who don't have the same opportunities that I've had or that other folks might have. And so like if you do find yourself questioning even do I have a problem or do I
077think I might have a friend who has a problem, it's in my experience always beneficial to just ask for help as opposed to trying to tackle that on your own. >> What preventative measures do you think are missing or need? I'd say that I always found from my personal experience that there was a disconnect between what folks, particularly adults, told me to do versus what they were actually doing. And so I'd see all these people saying like, "Hey, don't don't drink. Don't do whatever." And then I'd look out in my community, I'm like, "You're all drinking more than you should be." And you know, there's a lot of families in my friend group where your Yeah. families of friends where it was like these weren't adults that I necessarily felt comfortable turning to with a
078lot of this. I felt like there was some hypocrisy there and so I know being able to have candid and open conversations is to me I think very preventative because at the end of the day like I was going to do what I was going to do anyways and eventually it was that therapist and some of the folks in my life who are not like Ben you're a bad person you need to change your behavior. It was making me aware that there was another way and that there were all these tools and resources at my disposal. And again, we're generation SOS as an organization is not an abstinencebased program. And believe me, if if I saw the data and abstinence worked, then I'm sure that I'd have a different perspective. But unfortunately, that's not I
079know for myself personally that was not something I responded to well in high school was like do as I say, not as I do. And I do think that bringing awareness and creating spaces where people actually feel comfortable talking about this is the best way to enable them to actually find the help that they're seeking. And so many of us just suffer in silence without saying anything. And I know that was my that was certainly my story. Do any of the students have any questions? Thank you. That was great. That was just terrific. And I think what you what you ended with, which is just having a safe space to talk about these things and not keep don't suffer in silence. And I know for me, I don't think I said this at the beginning,
080I'm a recovering addict. And if there had been something like generation SOS around when I was young and struggling, it would have been a game changer for me. Um, and to that point, you know, we love to do presentations like this. But what's really unique about what we offer schools and communities is the opportunity for students to to start generation SOS school clubs within the school. And this this allows the conversation to continue throughout the year. So, I know I know it's a small group here, but if anybody would like to sign up and to be part of a school club, um it's a great college resume item. I'll tell you that. Um but it's a way to, you know, to meet, you know, on a smaller scale. Uh and we'll help you bring in
081a speaker and just to keep the conversation going. Uh because at the end of the day, that's really the I think is the best prevention method that there is is just to talk about feelings. So, um, thank you all for having us here today and >> um, I'd really like to thank everybody for coming tonight. Um, people who watched it online and and our speakers, you guys were great. Awesome job. Um, just want to thank everybody. Um, and you know, Mr. Bland is walking up here. Might want to say a few things. >> He's really good at picking up cues. Um so I just you know whether you're online watching or those people that are here I do appreciate you uh attending or at least attending to the information that was shared here. Uh this
082was a very important thing for me. Uh prior to co we did these freshman forums and this place was packed. After co we had a as some people remember from CARES we had a a screenagers screening which was this wonderful thing and we had five people here. So, we've beat that attendance. So, that's great. And what I care about most is that the message gets out. The fact that there's even 10 students here, that means the world to me that you're here. And any parents that are here with them or anybody online, that's what really matters. Um, you know, I think the message I want you to take from tonight is that there are people here that care, right? Um, these individuals from uh SOS came up from the city, right? Are going back tonight.
083This is no short ride. And I appreciate you so much for coming. and Ben, your story. I I can't thank you enough, and we'll certainly connect later. Um, you know, I personally have family who have struggled with addiction for many, many years. I have two teenagers myself, so I live in this world. I push to make sure that we had some gambling here, right? Because I see it. I have a 16-year-old boy. I know every game we watch they're shooting talking about FanDuel and DraftKings and and then to hear all the different kinds of gambling that I'm not even thinking about that risky behavior is fantastic. Cares has been a resource from day one. Before I got here, well before I got here 11 years ago, Cares has always been there providing resources and supports.
084And then we have our two wonderful health teachers who are here today, Mr. Kitty and Mr. Allesio who teach our 9th and 11th grade health. They are the most wonderful individuals and I'm we are so lucky to have them. What they do in a short semester's worth of time, not just in the classroom, but the things they plan in program like tonight, the leadership of Mr. Baldwin and having my assistant principal here, Mr. Brago, um I just want the message you to take away. And I think we tell kids all the time, see something, say something. And Ben, when I when I listen to what you have to say, that's the thing I'm going to take away. See something, say something. It really doesn't matter who it's to. It could be through recruit cares. It
085could be through an on 988. You could be dialing that. It could be a teacher. It could be a parent. I just encourage you and students, if there's something that seems off, say something. And we hope that you take away from tonight all the resources that you have available to you and we're always here to support and help you. And there'll be more programs like this coming through. So, uh, that's just one last thank you to everybody. Mr. Paul, do we have anything else? >> All right. Thank you everybody. And don't forget there's also some resources up here as well. Brookfield Cares has a lot of really goodies. I love a good swag bag. Swing by and see that. Um, and just thank everybody for being here tonight and take care.