001oh how come it's are you the slideshow it needs to be in yeah okay now go to the next one [Music] okay fore fore [Music] PR PR then must get okay [Music] so okay okay okay B okay Chavez okay Oscar laa PES PES mon J Sanchez same father the same back yes BRB father is the BRB Martin Luther King and okay for goad okay standing CPS communicate with transparency foree you can go ahead one more actually um we're gonna do um oh you want to do the actually are you ready no okay okay okay that's fine hello everyone my name ISO I am program manager of expanded learning here atsa and I am here just to um go over some of the programs that we still have running and to answer any quick questions it's
002going to be a very brief um uh overview today as we have a lot to cover um but I'm going to start with one thing that we have already started um announcing at all the sites and that is the spring intercession that is coming up uh we did not have a winter intercession this year or a fall intercession but we will have a spring and summer intercession um for for students to participate in so I'm going to are we able to show that the spring that will be the second one M yes so I'm going to show a very brief video it's going to be translated it's in English and then in Spanish so it kind of goes over what we will be offering during spring intercession and then I'll briefly go over what we
003will be doing in April which is very exciting um that we're planning for and it'll be another very short video and then any other programs uh we I did bring applications for all of our expanded learning programs which is a large umbrella of programs so um from after school program to Performing Arts programs after school to Saturday classes to sports all that falls under expanded learning um our steam Saturday programs our um inter sessions all of that falls under expanded learning so if you ever have any questions please feel free to reach out to us directly um I've shared my contact information but the staff at each site also has that information you're welcome to reach out anytime we're happy to answer any questions or concerns regarding any of the programs so um please feel
004comfortable about reaching out and communicating with any wants needs concerns anything please and then hopefully it's almost coming does anyone have any questions now before it pops up while they're doing that I can do my announcement oh okay um I just want to remind everybody the elap um stakeholder meetings is this sheet here we have started elap today our teachers took the survey and so it's really important for parent voice to be heard so please make it a point to go and attend one of these meetings um the next meetings that will tomorrow it will be at Chavez Mona will be on February 26 M February 27th then we're going to have a community elap at Sanchez here in the morning at 8:45 Loya March 5th um at 6 p.m. we have another community lcap
005meeting at Bon PDC on March 10th March 11th um Jesse G Sanchez Bon March 13th and our last um stakeholder meeting will be on March 18th at our next daac meeting um and then there are coffee patches so you have multiple opportunities to um participate and giving your input in I could be one we ask those are English I don't think this computer has sound oh okay okay yeah because these computer doesn't have some it's just for the um yeah you want to do um the one in the chat because that one has words okay so if I if you see the one I just sent you yeah the spring one yeah that one has words in it like I can all right so um this is the video that com up it does have
006music but for some reason the computer doesn't play the sound on this so the spring inter session is going to take place the 254th through the 28th it's Monday through Friday um these are the different pieces of the the different sessions that each student will be able to take part in um you notice it started robotics we're going to have phys of Education we'll have um Ela support um we will be it's going a little bit fast but um this is something that we've shared with administrators so hopefully they can send out to families via their uh trans their communication portals what you want me to stop yeah we we can because it's kind of pausing or you want to go through it slowly just click through it so again those are the dates the
00724th through the 28th we have robotics we have [Applause] tuty I promise it's more fun when there's music okay I promise uh theater dancing physical education so there are three sites where this bring inter session will be hosted it'll be Bon Loya and VB um at each site those are the four sites that will be hosted so at you'll have Mona Alis Fremont at Loya you'll have Sanchez MLK and travez and at BRB you'll have um Steinbeck b side and great Paul all right there will be transportation to and from your home site to your host site uh the program runs from 8 to 5: every day but it's a very flexible schedule so if for instance you are participating in um something in the morning but you'd like your child to participate in the
008afternoon they are welcome to um submit an application and then just let the school know that they'll be participating in the afternoon and join for the afternoon sessions and vice versa um so it is very flexible if they can be there during the middle of the sessions just depending um the schedule again is flexible you do not necessarily need to attend the full day they've already signed up for other programs but um would love to have your students there um the second piece we're done okay all right next time I will talk about April okay all right any other information your clerks at the site always have all the information about all our programs under expanded learning so feel free to look at the applications that are found in the back and ask me any
009questions if you thank you thank you so next we have um our AP principal that is going to be talking about our safety plan um she's going to give a brief description of what's going to happen at the next School site council meeting at your site yeah just do it in English because okay [Music] dite so I'm going to be talking today about the process that my uh colleagues and I all assistant principles so she need to go back one oh yes I thought I could control it no that's okay okay um we're gonna uh I'm going to talk about the process that my colleagues and I at all of the schools follow every school year to um to update our comprehensive school safety PL so the purpose of our comprehensive school safety plan is
010to create a safe learning environment for all including our students our parents our staff we want to be prepared for emergencies and then with this plan we're preventing uh its prevention and for risk reduction and we want to ensure that all of our educational Partners understand their part uh in this endeavor which is school safety so today I'm going to quickly go over the four parts that we um update every school year so first it's the comprehensive school safety plan review so we have to review that every school year we are a district who is implementing the big five emergency protocol so I'll talk about that briefly PBIS which is our positive behavior intervention system and then our how we track our Behavior Support and our data so again the first part that I'm going
011to talk about is our updates for our plan so here is a timeline and what goes into updating our comprehensive school safety plan so when we're updating this plan we are updating all of the board policies that may have been updated since the last time that we updated the plan that can be for example child abuse uh suspension and expulsions um how our school policies are going to work around when our students Ingress or egress from our school and then we have a timeline so all of the assistant principles and I we started getting together in around October November to start talking about the updates then in January we start finalizing so that in February we can present these uh comprehens of school safety plans at our school site Council meetings so if you attend
012your school site council meeting in February you will likely get updates for or late January you should have gotten updates for your conference of school safety plan and then at the they will be taken to our um Board of Trustees to be approved okay another big part of our comprehensive school safety plan is now including the big five emergency response protocols the big five emergency response protocols include shelter in place secure campus evacuation drop cover and hold on and lockdown barricade first shelter in place if we ever have to um call this emergency response it's usually for a um non-violent um kind of response in the community whether it be Wildlife some of us might have seen on social media or on the news that there was a mountain lion in downtown Selenas if that
013were to be around anywhere our schools we would call a shelter in place a secure campus is also for something that's going on not on our school sites but in the school Comm in uh around the community evacuations if there's ever a really major gas leak a bomb thread Etc we would evacuate our school drop cover and hold on is traditionally like an earthquake drill and then lockdown barricade if there is ever a violent Intruder on our campus we would call a lockdown barricade the third part that goes into updating our comprehensive school safety plan has to do around PBIS which is our positive behavior intervention system so at each of your school sites you should have a behavior Matrix that kind of allows your student or your child to know how to be respectful
014responsible or ready or whatever expectations you have at your site throughout all areas of the school whether it be in the classroom on the playground or in the restrooms these are examples of how they can demonstrate that positive behavior at your site and this is translated in [Music] Spanish the way that we motivate our students to be respectful responsible and ready at most of our sites is by hosting monthly PBIS events and then also hosting a PBIS store um at Creek Side we made sure that we asked our students what they wanted to work for what is something that they're going to be motivated by we sent out surveys uh so that our students can fill it out to let us know what are the things that motivate them differ so the question is is
015that um one of the parents from sign would like to see what each school is doing um that's something that we can plan for the next meeting and of course um if principles if you can take that information back and work on that at your school and present what kind of PB is store and the items that you have at your school site yes and I I would just like to add that I think that would be a great topic for maybe our school say Council but it's also very individualized right for what is it that incentivizes each one of our different um student demographics at each school but yes just again the four components that I'm going to be talking about today that help us to update our comprehensive school safety plan is the
016process so our timeline before we uh present to our Board of Trustees the big five safety protocols PBIS and then the last one is how we uh keep data from our Behavior so we use a program called Swiss and on this program it allows us us to see what times of the day we're seeing behaviors what type of behaviors what location we're seeing the behaviors and this allows us to plan to make sure that remember the one of the purpose of our comprehensive school safety plan is prevention so by having this data let's say for example on this graph that you see on the screen it's saying that if we go to the next one please it's saying that at this school in particular the playground is the area that's getting the most referrals so
017in order to plan effectively we want to make sure that we're looking at the time of the day if you notice on the right hand side there's a spike in referrals right in between that lunchtime between 12: and 1 here and then there's also more referrals on the playground so we want to make sure that we're allocating our support staff to be on the playground at that that time so this is how we use the data to inform our comprehensive school safety plan and also to help us prevent um any behaviors and um emergencies this is last year I believe this was Oscar lyd shout out Miss Mac thank you we can keep going again to summarize what I talked about today every year all assistant principles in collaboration with the director of pupil Personnel
018Services we have to work together to update all of our comprehensive school safety plans so I talked about four things the process of how to update it and the timelines the big five safety protocols our PBIS systems and then how we track our data and these all this information helps us to make sure that we are keeping our students our staff and our community safe thank you gracias thank you slowly because the translator is having a we have to because I have to get open um I'd like to um the next piece is I'd like to welcome our um Community School coordinators that are here tonight so if you can please stand if you can you come forward and just say your name we're super excited that they're joining our alel team and so we
019just can say your name and what school you're going to be at yes if you can maybe come around here because there's people online that would love to get to know you where's the camera right here Elementary Rocka Barden so a huge welcome so after the meeting if you can um welcome them and give them a a welcome to the Alaia with that um I am privileged um to introduce Trisha defio she is a dedicated and passionate educator committed to empowering students teachers and parents once a Restless student herself she experienced first P the challenges of disengagement and frustration however an eighth grade teacher recognized her potential and changed the course of her educational Journey inspired by that mentorship trissa pursued a career in education specializing in ESL and bilingual instruction her early years in
020the field were filled with challenges and learning experiences but she soon embraced a powerful truth mistakes are not failures they are Stepping Stones to growth this re realization became the foundation of her work shaping her mission to help others understand that emotions play a crucial role in learning today as an educational consultant speaker and author Trisha shares research-based strategies and best practices from experienced Educators she is dedicated to ensuring that every learner feels valued supported and empowered to succeed please join me in giving a warm welcome to Trisha fio know that Dr Alvarez had written my autobiography or my biography [Music] speaks I want to make sure the initial one was oh okay yes um so hello welcome my name is Trisha deasio I want to thank all the community coordinators who already spent eight
021hours with me today oh my goodness um the dedication is very impressive thank you so please um we are here today you have copies of my book 's libros um will be in espol in austo so you will get those you will have those this is a resource and um unia a guide to help you um make connections with your children um to help you with the basics of nutrition and sleep and social media and technology so there's a lot of information and tips and tricks to help you deal with um your kids and especially to manage those big emotions how many of us have children who have big emotions yes we do how many of us have big emotions yes we do so that brings me to my first question what is the best
022thing that we can give a child what is the best thing we can give a child valid validation M what else consistency these are all great what else for keeping an eye on understanding acknowledgement d d a Balan adult that an emotionally regulated adult is the best thing that we can give a child the best thing that we can give a child is a calm regulated version of us right we need to be a port in their storm we don't join in the storm right we teach this to your teachers and your counselors it is very very common because we are human when we experience the emotions of someone else we want to match that right so quandoo that we have a Nino who's like immediately we're like right but it is for us to
023be a port in the storm not to join in the storm not to join in the chaos and so that's not always easy but it starts with us when we can regulate us they learn to regulate themselves do you know what one of the number one indicators of success in an adult is and it's not education it's not money it's CL it is emotional regulation like to regulate your emotions when you have an adult that can have an emotion and not be swept Away by it they have a better chance at success right now when we went to school did we learn emotional regulation no right what happened if we were crying maybe our parents said stop crying did we stop crying yes but then we went by ourselves and we cried right or if
024we were angry stop being angry does that make you less angry no it makes you less SA to express your anger right we want our children to know that all of their emotions are good anger is anger is smart anger is a smart emotion anger is a smart emotion because it tells us a boundary has been crossed it tells us something is wrong there's nothing bad about anger right you can be angry it's okay to be angry it's not okay to hit your brother right it's okay to be sad it's not okay to flip over the table the goal is not to teach our children to not feel it's to teach them how to feel does that make sense so we're going to do one exercise with us today to see how we feel when
025we are upset so one of the biggest things that um keeps adults from being regulated is stress right is stress so when you personally are stressed when you experience stress are you a do you need time and space right do you need a minute you need time and space or do you be need someone to talk to you someone to come close to you so I want you to show me with your body so if you are a you will stand over here that means when you have stress when you are upset you need time and space if you are be want somebody to talk to you you stand over here so go ahead and stand up a is I need time and space b is I need you to talk to me come close
026to me engage me good very good okay very good right we have two groups those they us right now as they search Donuts these people need time and space when they are upset which means give me a minute right me and what we [Music] need right now do you know this this about your children do you know this about your children if they are A or B good because this is something we can share with their teacher he needs this or this this is very helpful information right because if we don't know this and you're my you're my and you're upset right you know how they get like [Music] that and we say oh but because I think she needs what I need so what do I do oh does she want that right I
027make the situ I make the situation worse because I don't know now switch me you're my mother and I'm upset [Music] you know that one right so I'm what do I what do I need I need I need you to play with my hair what is she GNA do n NADA she's gonna give me time and space what will I think she's doing ignoring IGN and what's the worst thing you can do to us you can't ignore us do you know why we're gonna do it oh you're going to ignore me huh right and this is all because we don't have the information right we want the hug they need time and space can you ask your ninos this can you share it with their teacher their counselor absolutely this is great information to have
028thank you everybody have a seat you guys can hug each [Music] other this is good one more now go back one emotions emotion right what do we know about emotion what do we know about emotions anything form form of expression absolutely this this is on your Spanish parent guide that you have in front of you this is on the guide the Spanish parent guy what else do we know about emotion you can say it in Spanish you want they can make you sick they can make you sick if you don't express them right babies have perfect emotional health there's one right there babies have perfect emotional health why babies don't stress have you ever met a stressed out baby no you know why perfect emotional health when they're sad they cry when they're angry they
029yell when they're tired they sleep when they need to go to the bathroom they go to the bathroom right emotions pass through babies like we that's the nature of emotion motion to move right so babies say I see it I feel it I let it go what do we do I see it I feel it or I should it down motions are all here or here or here right babies never worry about the future no baby says oh I'm so nervous to learn how to walk next week my legs they're just too fat right no babies are depress and think about the past babies aren't embarrassed they don't say oh my goodness I cannot believe I pooped in Ross last week that was so embarrassing I can never go back there right babies feel it
030and let it go we want our kids to feel it and let it go right the goal is to help them feel the emotions and let it go so in front of you you have something called a what helps me wheel this is something you can use with your children with your family with your [Music] partners so take a minute and I want you to think about when you are upset when you are feeling stressed personally what are the things that help you feel better is it reading is it working out is it s dancing is it pring is it scoll through your phone on Instagram I don't think that helps but so take about five minutes and I want you to write in each circle the things that help you when you're stressed are
031there any questions go ahead write in the circle what helps you when you're stress music oh should I put music on yeah I thought you were saying music I love you okay yes yeah yes for [Laughter] okay sure jump keep going keep going keep going we're going to go to the what help me yeah you know what let's stop here that's good okay that what you want e four people to share one yes thank you what helps you I watch funny videos watch funny videos on YouTube laughing right laughing is very good for your system and Rel that's a good one what else go ahead gardening good one you know what I happen to have some Starbucks gift cards in here so when I'm here we need to C all the I'm pring for every
032answer garding very good it's relaxing anything that you can use your hands helps with stresses right getting into your hands um there are lots of native people right that say when you can use any the arms come out of your heart so when you can work on stuff it helps you with STS and brings your energy back um go ahead you're not getting a gift card say again positive affirmations I like that do you have any affirmation you can share with us you're giv me she that's good what is the translation of that I love life I love myself that's really good all right you know what that was so good we did it in English and Spanish I'm not giving anymore though because just kidding What's another one yes go ahead listening to music
033right music changes your mood right music changes your mood so I'm a liar I had one more what's yours go for a walk yes to go for a walk when you walk everything gets better right biologically these things help any other ones anybody go ahead fishing fishing very relaxing right fishing good one what else do we have what is it what is that oh socer yes physical activity love it what's your teamas what's the team today we oh Barcelona okay I watched that documentary the other day about the um Real Madrid versus barcel uh what else have one more pray pray yes lots of people right all of these things science says is helpful for us moving our body positive affirmations praying dancing right what is not helpful is overthinking right what is not helpful
034is thinking about your problems because what you focus on grows what you focus on grows so what you look at becomes big so if you sit and you think about your problems all day they get bigger and bigger and bigger right we want to focus on things that help our stress and our body come back to regulation because what is the best thing we can give a child a regulated adult when your kids see you do this they learn how to do it who is their best teacher you you are their best teacher right they copy everything you do how many of you have seen a little kid walk in like this and you say I know who your dad is how many of you s girl walk in with and you say I know
035who your mom is Right exact replicas they will copy you and they will copy the way that you respond to stress so think about this when you need help do you ask for help no so let's do this on a scale from 0er to five zero is I never ask for help five is I always ask for help how often do you ask for help one right show me here two right I'm a two and this is my job but I started here some of you are like I do everything myself right now if I'm a two what do I want my kids to be five but what am I a two but what do I want my kids to be a five right because we I'm a two I can only show them how
036to ask for help at level two and I want them to be five so I have to be five does that make sense we want to model the behavior that we want them to exhibit we want to model the behavior that we want them to exhibit right because if our kids see us get stressed and I go oh I'm so stressed sorry when our kid gets stressed what are they gon to do I'm stress I have a license to slam things right ooh my my dad says bad words when they're upset I get to say bad words when I'm upset right or my mom stops talking when she's upset so I'm going to stop talking when I'm upset do we want our kids to not talk when they're upset no we need them to talk
037so we can help them right so we want to model emotional regulation for that and the way we do that is on your guide is on your be on your your guide there are ways that we can help them the best thing we can do is name the emotion that's happening right I'm feeling sad but that's okay right I'm going to go for a walk so I might feel better when your child sees you handle stress in a positive way that's how they're going to handle stress when you take care of yourself your child's going to look and say that's how I'll take care of myself because if our kids see us never sleep and never eat and all we do is go go go go go go go go go then they think I'm
038not allowed to sleep or eat I need to go go go go go go right so we feel like we need to sacrifice everything for them but actually the best thing we can do is take care of ourselves because it will teach them to take care of themselves does that make sense how much time do I have okay works oh good okay what I okay perfect the par did okay so this activity we did with a group of parents in Texas during the pandemic and he said identify things that help you in your stress and the parents did one and the kids did one together so the child had one and the mom had one and we said for one week just go and have it out at the house have it up where you
039both can see each other and after a week he said how was wasn't and the mom said most of the time it was the child telling her to use the wheel the child was reminding her mom you look stressed do you need a walk do you need to pray do you need a play side and the mom's like yes and then I asked the one Mom how is your relationship with your child she said forget about my kid this is saving my marriage and I said really why and she said my husband works on an oil rig my husband works all day right and he filled that one and he wrote right here I need 10 minutes when I get home to relax before we talk I need 10 minutes to take off my shoes
040and sit down and be in the house before we talk so the lady said sometimes he would come in and just go and he would just point he would just point to I need 10 minutes and she would say okay good and that was helping right so this is a great tool to help us communicate what what we need when we're stressed because if I don't know what you need and you're my kid I might not give it to you like the B's and the A's remember we want what's best for our kids but I might try to give you a hug and you don't want a hug and I might need a hug and you might not give it to me because you think I need space so the best thing we can do
041is ask right the only way to know what they need sometimes is to ask them what do you need when that kid's having a big emotion how many of you have kids who have Tantrums like right when the kid is in their emotion in their big emotion it's not because they're bad there are no bad kids you're like no there are no bad kids there are only kids with limited emotional regulation there are no bad kids you know why there are no bad babies you never relate that is an evil little baby right bad babies don't exist bad kids don't exist they're just babies that grew up right there's just kids who don't know how to emotionally regulate so what we want to do is help give them the tools to feel their feelings if
042they are having a tantrum or a big explosion that means they don't know how to say how they're feeling so when they're having an explosion we can say hey what do you need show me because now their brain is going do I need versus you know in Walmart and we're like or if your mind M that doesn't help right we say excuse me do you need water or do you need to go for a walk now their brain goes water water pool let's go right when they're in the middle of a big emotion give them a choice a choice a choice helps them feel like they have power and that's what most of those struggles are they're a power struggle you you see that it's a struggle for power so if you give them a
043little power it's like this do you want to clean your room or clean the garage your choice they think oh I get to pick I have power and you're like no you don't that's a mom dad choice right but see what happens when you give them Choice and then one last thing that is the most helpful we've seen with helping our kids whether they're little or old because the best thing we can give a child is a regulated adult practice the pause what does this mean when you feel yourself getting disregulated because you're tired you're hungry you've worked all day right they come in like you're like right say practice the pause I'm going to take a breath before I talk before I speak before I text before I yell because if we can just
044pause before we react we won't do anything that we regret because if we react when we are angry and our kids can make us angry right the most when we act and we are angry it usually ends in shame when we do something when we're angry it usually ends in shame think about the last time you sent a text message when you were really mad you were mad I wish I practice the pause right just take a minute because when you're upset when your emotions are big there's a part of your brain called the amydala that is enego it is on fire that part of your brain there's no logic there's only emotion and when your brain is inego with emotion when it's on fire with emotion you're not making good decisions but when we
045practice the pause we put out the fire now we can be logical and say okay it's time for you to go to bed right you have a choice brush your teeth or go straight to bed those are your choices versus right and now the kids like and the whole house is crazy does that makees sense practicing the pause is not easy friends I have to practice every single day but the more my kids see me practice the more they learn how to do it right because we and this is helpful if you have older kids right in Middle School remember when you were 12 or 13 do you remember that how terrible that was to be 12 or 13 years old do you remember that and you were like awkward I don't know how to
046talk to people do you remember that that's terrifying right you're not sure about anything being 12 and 13 is like being crazy your forone your skin your love interest you have crushes your body's going crazy you're like a crazy person but the best thing we can tell that child is listen you do not need to get Swept Away by your emotions they're big they're real but they will pass they will pass people in middle school or students in high school feel like a bad day is a bad life sometimes and they get really really sad do you see this they think a bad day is a bad life and it's important to remind them listen this feeling is temporary no feeling lasts forever none no feeling lasts forever and nobody ever died from their feelings
047nobody ever died from their feelings so they might be uncomfortable and they might be hard but practice the pause and they will pass when our kids have emotional regulation they will not look to other things to help them numb or cope what are ways that people use to numb or cope with emotions substances drink in smoking drugs Amazon shopping shopping shopping or just a lot play video games for 12 hours right that's numbing that's numbing that's turning off that's oo my emotions don't feel good I'm going to sit on my phone for eight hours that's that's not a good coping skill versus hey feel it it's temporary it's going to go away you can do it I believe in you now our kids have emotional regulation and it's nobody will be able to steal their
048peace from them when they can practice the pause and they'll learn that from you does that make sense does that make sense does anybody have any questions about what I shared I know that was a lot any questions anything you're dealing with you need help with with your kids any ages what is it say again what's going on with them gotcha so when your kids are struggling with big emotions the best thing we can do is what practice to pause with them be a port in their storm be a regulated adult what can we do when they're in the middle of a tantrum of an emotional off give them a choice give them a choice do you want to go get water do you want to go for a walk they feel power when they
049have a choice right okay good yes go ahead it's sadly better quick to anger yes quick to anger so what you do so first the first thing is always be curious always be curious about their emotions and say why are you angry the best thing you can do is say why why why why because the first answer might be oh because I'm angry well why my brother did something but why why why and you can get hopefully to the answer right because we always want to find out what's the root what's the cause right the anger happens later so first is I think be curious and find out why and then I think children 11 years old do not know how much power they have over their emotions little kids think this feeling is I
050is I have no control right little kids don't know they have control over their feelings and they do we all do right it can come and they can go we do not need to react to our feelings right they come they go but this little guy thinks oo anger it's here it's here and now I'm going crazy so I would tell him you have more power than you think and when you start feeling angry what can we do we shake it out maybe we scream finding a place that's appropriate to put the anger right does that make sense we give them options the anger is fine I see that you're angry anger is fine but I want to know why and I want to help you feel it and let it go I would let
051him see you get angry and you say mom is angry right now so I'm going to do this right mom's angry should run a place real fast take it out and's like mom is weird but it works does that make sense so I would get curious I would validate it and then find place to put it that it's okay but make sure they know anger's okay but because it's a boy I would be willing to say that he's sad about something but he won't let himself be sad so he's making it anger that's usually what happens right so think about this when you were young was there an emotion that was not allowed in your house when you were young was there an emot that was not allowed in your house every man in here
052is like mm go ahead what was it not to cry don't you dare cry guess what is crying the most normal human thing we can do yes crying is very very healthy crying releases stress remones you feel better after a good long cry it's true it's true it's like SM in the grass after the rain like you had a good cry I'm so tired I cried so hard right but if we don't let our boys cry we say you're not allowed to be sad but what are they allowed to be you're allowed to be angry well now we have boys thinking okay I can't be sad I can't cry and I can't be hurt but I can be angry so I'm G punch you on the playground and guess what look where all those referrals
053were on the playground truly right so our boys are using the one lane that they get which is it's socially acceptable to be angry because I'm not allowed to be sad perfect example today with all the counselors we said think of your most challenging student think of the student that is having the hardest time and 30 my teacher said I have my student I said good is it a boy or a girl every single person said it was a boow is this because boys are bad no boys are not bad it's because the boys are getting in trouble because they're not allowed to feel their emotions in a healthy way and it's coming out all of it through anger so if a boy is sad can't be sad going to be angry if a boy
054is hurt he can't be hurt he's going to be angry he wants to cry cry make fun of you you're going to be angry and that's not healthy right also anger is anger high energy or low energy when you're angry do you feel energy or do you feel tired anger makes you activated look at I'm angry I can beat you up anger gives you energy anger gives you energy the energy feels good sometimes so there are some people who are addicted to their anger because it gives them energy because sadness is low energy right I'm cry I'm SC I'm tring but we don't let the boys have that and the boys are like great anger feels better anyway but this all the time is so tiring you will crash you will crash if your angry
055all the time right and so what happens when you crash you look to things to help you n drink smoke drugs Netflix video games for hours and hours and hours you see what I'm saying so the goal is all of our emotions are fine I know it's hard and it's different in culture I'm a tal I'm basically AA right we don't let our men feel anything either and it's not helpful because the best thing they can have is emotional regulation but if they're walking around like this and somebody looks at him and like and they get do we have any voice right or do we have girls who aren't allowed to be angry cuz that's for the boys so the girls sit there like I'm invisible and nothing feels worse than being invisible right so
056I know I'm talking about boys and girls but in general we want our kids to know that their feelings are all fine and they're all normal and if we had some experience where we weren't allowed we got to get rid of that right can you do a slide for me because at the end of the day keep going keep going keep going keep going keep going sorry I see this sorry everybody ah this is what we want to do what does this mean to you different Generations different Generations right we don't need to blame our parents they did the best they could they really did and guess what they probably did better than their parents so when you take a look at our grandparents you think a lot doesn't it but what we want to
057do is break the cycle because we know better now we have scientific research we know that love and caring make makes all the difference we know that validating our kids and giving them a safe place to express their emotions is the best thing we could do because if we punish our kids and we don't give them another Behavior we're just punishing them for being little or not having emotional regulation right so all that to say you guys are doing the great work because you're here tonight and I want to thank you for that thank you for being here thank you for learning about emotional regulation on a Tuesday night from a crazy woman um who's been talking all day long and thank you so much for um being just so active in the community and
058in the school district and I hope you guys had a good time tonight yes Mom yes Mommy your doctor um so turn and talk to your partner and tell them one thing that you learned from today just one thing yeah one thing that you're going to take away with you or one thing that resonated with you from our our talk today so go ahead talk to your partner one thing for okay okay all right finish our conversation I have one left but I don't know if I'm getting it so I don't know but I do need three people to tell me what they learn one thing today three people can I get three I got one I got two where's my third I got three I got four girls yes you learn what helps it
059will make your life easier it will make your life easier I love that that's right regula your emotions I love it great job who else yes both go ahead yeah okay okay okay one more I really am out go ahead every single one of us has the power to break a cycle and we all know there was some stuff we got to get ready right they did their best but oh my goodness what did they know then right like my mom literally gave birth to me while she was smoking a cigarette my mom was in the hospital there was an asate in the hospital bed that's how different times are right right so we learn more we do better I love that I ended with my mom go ahead um I was uh thinking about
060like getting to know your child with the emotions and communicating with your teacher child that way you know you guys will work together working together help the student so um I thought that work it makes your teachers life easier when they know your kid right also if something's going on like listen my son's having a hard week just so you know teachers love it when you give them information because it makes our life easier I have some extra if they we have extra if you want to take them home and use them with your child and there are guys there's this one for adults or older kids this is for younger kids and they can draw on it and guess what do it in Spanish do it in English and Spanish right we have all
061these beautiful bilingual kids and if you read in English and you want one of the books they are here but if not no worries the Spanish will be here in August okay so we have three different age groups here Middle School um and elementary school so feel free to come get one if you want a book in English but we will have them in Sp thank you so much parents you're the best enjoy your smart can we take a pi with you really quick yes oh any parents any parents I love it let's all right we're gonna just take a pick in the back for all for [Music] spee e so how old is your child you and Elementary I'll just give you Early Elementary okay perfect see okay engaging different yes exactly yes I
062have it let me give it to you yeah you want to take one one of each fore [Music] s