001Okay, good evening Statement is hereby made that adequate notice of this meeting was given by the prominent posting of said notice in all district schools and other Public places the mailing and or hand delivery of said notice to the designated newspapers as they park press and the news transcript I'm sorry, I'm an Alpen patch filing with the clerk Filing with the clerk of an Alpen Township and the clerk of English Town Borough Kevin, please call the roll. Thank you. Mr. Bruno Mr. Ferber here Mr. Graham here. Mr. Green here. Mr. Kane here. Mrs. Parisi here Mrs. Baccaro here Mr. Tosetti here Mr. Ergo absent you have a quorum Okay, please rise for the flag salute We don't have a flag wait for the flag Okay, well wait a minute we're getting it We're getting it.
002They're getting it. I'm sorry. We had moved some stuff around for graduation or for our advancement ceremony So please bear with us and give us just a moment to get it set up There we go. Okay, I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands One nation under God Indivisible with liberty and justice All right. Thank you Ronnie and thank you everybody for being here. Oh, you found it. Look at that my password It's not a safe place for it. Okay, we're changing. Okay Yeah, if I could ask everybody to please vibrate there or silence their phones no ringers would be wonderful this evening The last two board meetings we had the opportunity to recognize Our students and their achievements as well as our
003staff and the teachers of the year Which were you know, wonderful evenings that we all enjoy here, but I wanted to start this meeting off by Really? Is my three minutes is up by recognizing Our principals this year, they started with a philosophy of Renew reset and refocus. Is that right? It's on the back of my shirt reset renew and refocus But everything that went on this school year as it relates to student achievement And our staff and and the success of our staff this year Stored with our principals. So, you know, they didn't get a chance to be recognized at the last meeting I know there's some of them here tonight as well as some of our administrators so thank you to you for starting the leadership at the top and and helping us
004get to where we are this year and Utilizing that philosophy the right way and helping us get back on track. So thank you for that All right we are now going to go into a workshop on Policy number five seven five six You don't have it first you have it backwards. I'm following the agenda you tell me Okay, so I'm sorry. I'm going to start with an HIV presentation from the superintendent Through workshop during this period here of workshop the board Acts together as a committee going to listen to dr. Santora. There are no Comments on this workshop at this moment. So please give dr. Santora the floor Brian so there's been some Question about our board policies and our procedures in terms of what we do for HIV There was also some question of
005our principals feeling so I've asked our principals to come here tonight. So if the board It's it's on Okay, so I can be as loud as So HIV procedures and data there was some questions on our current policy So I asked the principals if they could come tonight So if the board has any questions for them as well that they're here and they can answer them As well, so what do we currently do? criteria for an HIV Specified by the state statute. I'm not going to read all that we've been over this many times it's reasonably be perceived as motivated either by an act or perceived characteristic an actual perceived characteristic and They list the characteristics and the distinguishing characteristics It takes place on school property at a school sponsored function on the bus off
006school grounds, but it has to substantially disrupt interfere with orderly operations or the right of other students and that a reasonable person should have known that it would affect physically or emotionally harm a student or damage a student's property or Has the effect of insulting or demeaning any group of students or creates a hostile educational environment? So that is our criteria for HIV as per state statute, there's a difference between conflict and bullying Conflict is usually mutual Where HIV is normally one-sided again, it goes through the different kinds. I'll give you a second to read them I'm not going to read them to you Okay, so the investigation as specified by the state statute All acts of HIV must be reported verbally to the principal on the same day when the school employee Witnesses or
007receives information all Allegations have to be reported using the three three eight form, which we use hipster for within two days The principal will inform parents of all the students involved the investigation will begin within one school day Then the investigation has to can be completed within ten school days when the investigation is complete the parents and the Of the victim and the offenders or alleged offenders will be notified of the outcome The written report is provided to the principal with an HIV determination and a recommended course of action the principal then submits it to me within two days I Click on it and read it and I affirm their decision and then the reportings are reported to the board Parents are provided with the following and writing five days after the results to the
008board what was the evidence was it found it whether discipline was imposed and They can only receive information about their own child due to privacy laws So there's two methods to investigate in HIV investigation Method one is administration investigates all claims in Method two we can do a preliminary investigation prior to the investigation In the preliminary investigation the principal and the anti-bullying specialist determine whether or not they're going to investigate if the principal determines They will not investigate they must still investigate it as a code of conduct if warranted Submit a report to me explaining in detail why they chose not to investigate Give a formal notification to the parents I then have to notify the principal in writing if I accept their determination or will require an investigation And then the parents have the
009right to appeal the fact that we did not investigate to the Board of Ed If as you know with our appeal process all of our principals do attend our appeal process So then they would also have to attend the board meeting in the appeal process along probably with the anti-bullying specialist then We still have to report all of our preliminary investigations at the board meeting So our board policy permits preliminary investigations However, our principals and myself have unanimously decided that we're going to investigate all claims for HIV and there's several reasons for that Being a victim of HIV can have dire consequences and we want to make sure we take all steps necessary to prevent that We want to empower our community to speak up on HIV incidences taking their claims seriously by investigating as
010the first step We want our student voices to be heard We investigate all claims whether it's HIV or code of conduct anyway, so it's just the name of the investigation the preliminary investigation Complicates the investigation process with more steps and we can never defend why we didn't investigate in an HIV appeal and Last it's also been recommended by our board attorneys three attorneys from NJPSA and an attorney from AJ NJ ASA that the correct process is to investigate all HIV claims or The preferred process I should say I'll rephrase that so the appeal process Apparent may request a hearing before the board. If so, they have 60 days to notify us The hearing must be held within 10 days of the request. Those are 10 school days not 10 days prior to the hearing The
011board will get a redacted copy of the three three eight form which you get anyway with our new setup The board will meet an executive session for the hearing the board may hear testimony from the school From the parents and at the next board meeting the board board will issue a decision occasionally we also issue the decision at the same board meeting just to so that we don't keep the parents waiting and Any decision by the board may be appealed to the Commissioner of Education within 90 days So what does our data look like? There was some concern that we have more HIV investigations Than in the past. So I looked at three prior years I did not look at the years during kovat as they were something else So I wanted to have comparable
012data also remember in 2019 2020 March 17th, we Went to virtual so that data is kind of skewed a little bit But if you look at on the left chart from September to December, you'll see there's there's pretty much consistency amongst the amount the number of investigations Each month in January February March in April. We definitely see a spike That's also when we started using hipster Which is our online reporting system also as we've talked about before March is a long month with no days Off and it can get it can show Now if you look at the number of confirmed cases You will see that almost straight down the line in 22 23 our number of confirmed cases are greater Than what we normally had seen except for November which it was less But
013on average you'll see an increase especially in February March Again, we're investigating more So it's interesting to look at numbers, but I always like to look at percentages So if you look at percentages the percent of confirmed cases of incidents investigated So these are we investigated them how much of those that we investigate were confirmed if you look at 22 23 in September 63% of what we investigated were confirmed October 31 percent April 19 percent and November 0 percent those are the only outliers that I really picked out from the other three years So in total 11 percent were confirmed in 2018 17% in 2019 22 percent in 2020 and 23 percent this year So really the amount of a confirmed in cases have it hasn't increased that much from 2019 2020 But it definitely
014has from 17 18 and 18 19 So to look at it another way Now in the first chart on the top right, I only look at September to May So I only have two years to compare it to our number of incidences increased by 80% in 83% But our number of confirmed cases increased by 338 percent or 159 percent If you look at September to February so you can do all three years our number of incidences increased by 59 percent 52% and then 130 percent That number is skewed because it's only half a march. So keep that in mind. That's a skewed number Nope. Nope. I'm just kidding. It goes to February. It's not and then our number of confirmed cases increased by 371 percent a hundred and six percent and a hundred and fifty
015four percent. So even though we're investigating more our percentage of confirmed cases Has increased greatly this year than we've seen in the past These are our confirmed cases that now remember all this data since January That's when we started using hipster. That was an easy way to pull out the data So the chart on the left shows we had 46 confirmed cases and what their basis was now another interesting Tables are on the right. This is a little hard to understand. So bear with me So if you look at the number of claims per student, that means 26 students were accused of HIV two times Of those 26 that were accused at least two times 12 of them have at least one claim found it It doesn't mean they were both found it but at
016least one of the claims against them were found it When you look at the next chart what numbers per claim per student 16 students filed HIV claims at least two times For those seven of those students at least one claim was found it. It may have been both it may not have The data I pulled showed it this way So I thought that was an interesting piece of information to share with you the other interesting is Out of the 189 reported incidences now, these are not confirmed. This is reported 45 occurred in fifth grade, which is significantly higher Than our other grade levels. Most of you would have thought it would have been seventh or eighth grade It's very eye-opening to see that it's not it's fifth grade. So what are we doing moving forward?
017The following changes will be made in reference to reporting HIV incidences to the board All redacted three three eight forms will be uploaded to the confidential BoE folder on Friday before the second BoE meeting HIV incidences will only report once a month to the BoE at the second meeting since it's always an action meeting and The BoE will vote to affirm or reject the HIV incidences at the same meeting So we used to put it on the agenda once and then vote the next time because you have all the executive summaries in a folder That's no longer necessary The following changes will then be made because of this in the past parents received two letters the first letter said that it was reported to the board and It was unfounded the second letter said the
018board voted on it and it was unfounded or found it So we're going to now only have to send one letter that summarizes it This will also help in the appeal process because sometimes people would try to appeal before you vote it because they got the first letter So one letter will be a little more clear The following will be made in reference to the appeal process the Friday before the appeal if we know the Friday before sometimes It comes up on the Monday before The BoE will be notified of the incident number in order to read the redacted three three eight form that's located in the confidential folder District employees will follow a district procedure for preparing for the appeal and ensuring that we have all relevant information district admin like I Was talking
019about before will be creating new letters in reference to notifying parents of HIV and document at HIV Our past letters were templates that we were provided with we are going to now take those letters and make them our own so what about addressing HIV in our schools an Analysis of all confirmed cases to find trends in areas such as types of incidences locations Repeated victims and offenders and offenders length of time in our district is going to be conducted this summer We're going to look at each school what it looks like. We're going to develop a plan for repeat offenders And then we're going to also investigate and pilot programs such as no place for hate to address some of the behaviors that we're seeing Really this summer when we break down the data I
020think more of what we're going to do about it will come to light But we really have to break down the data and see what it looks like to determine how we're going to address it But this is before we got to that step this meeting. So this was just a broad overview and That's what I got. Is there any questions from the board? I have a question So earlier in the presentation you differentiated between conflict and HIV is every conflict incident Investigated as HIV. No only if it's reported as an HIV All right. I'm glad to hear that because the concern that I had in anticipation of tonight. I started looking at The HIV summaries in more detail and I was looking most closely at referrals made by staff teachers principals vice principals HIV
021coordinators and there were some examples that Were just like shockingly absurd like for example, there was one the alleged behavior was the student was acting like the teacher telling others to stop talking and take a break and An administrator made that an HIV referral and now it's possible I'm just looking at the summary. Maybe there was a detail not in the summary, but I'm certainly hoping that our administrative team is allowed to exercise their judgment and say hmm a Student acting like a teacher is certainly not hip. We're not going to expend time and resources and make it a hip So if it's reported through hipster we investigate as a hip because otherwise it would be a preliminary investigation and what? Some administrators have come back to me to tell me is that when they
022have those conversations with students Sometimes more information comes to light and sometimes something that it doesn't look like a hip on the surface Once they have those conversations turns into an HIV So if it's in hipster, we started with it's an HIV investigation because someone has reported as HIV Otherwise otherwise it's it becomes a preliminary investigation which the administrative is teams This has decided they don't want to do and I don't blame them I just feel it's important for them to hear the ones who are here at least the concern that I as one board member have That we're not treating every instance of conflict as hip They should be able to look at it at face value and say okay. This is a conflict situation We're gonna do code of conduct and move forward
023Because again, I work in public education I'm not convinced that doing a hip investigation is less time or the same amount of time. It's time-consuming There's letters. There's interviews. There's parent phone calls there's all sorts of things that have to be done for hip and The concern that I had leading up to today was that the number of hip investigations that we've had We're taking away from other areas So when I see, you know a hip referral for a student acting like a teacher I'm thinking about the principal or the vice principal who is now spending time investigating that as a hip But when they could be doing other things So that's my overall concern if you could keep an eye on that moving forward. I think that would I'd appreciate it This was a
024new program for our staff And I think some of them were reporting using Reporting as a discipline like a code of conduct in the beginning. So I'm not sure like everyone was They were getting used to the system and we had our we did trainings with the staff We had our counselors do training with the staff because they were being trained So I think as we move through like our staff will be able to recognize The difference between an HIV reporting and a discipline a code of conduct reporting. No, that's helpful And I appreciate that information before you give the mic back to dr Santora though the other issue that I think we ought to look at a little more closely is the issue of the disruption to the school program Because as I've been
025looking at some of the summaries, I feel like The vibe to me is well this happened with the kids, but the kids said they're fine now like it's over. They're okay Therefore it's not hip and I mean this might be more of a Danielle question I feel like one of the criteria is the impact on the functioning of the school and the rights of the student so even if the student Doesn't have a complete tantrum or a complete meltdown. It still might be hip I was getting the vibe like if the student didn't have a complete meltdown or tantrum. All right, not him We're clear, but I think it's more nuanced than that. Yes, and I would agree we definitely Aren't just taking a face value if the students saying I'm fine. I mean we're
026also asking the teachers How are they in class where we are speaking to other people? So I think that's but it's something that I will definitely take back to the team Yeah, it seems like a trend in some of the summaries I've seen so if you guys could take a look at that I'd appreciate it. I also want to remind you that you get a summary. That's one paragraph Some of these investigations last ten days. So a one paragraph summary versus the ten pay ten possibly ten day investigation Looks a little different far as what it may seem like and what actually happened. Thank you Yes, a quick question The concept of developing a plan for repeat offenders. Is that specific to an individual student or is it more in the aggregate? We're gonna have
027an idea of what we will do for repeat offenders I was thinking more kind of like we do with attendance with attendance and it does say that we're supposed to do this anyway So I think we're looking more closely at it with attendance five days absent something happens ten days absent something happens So we want to look at what happens if you've had repeated of repeat Confirmed HIV claims against you, you know, is it just still you get disciplined with the principal or the next level? Do your parents have to come in and meet with the principal is the next level the parents have to come in and meet with me So how does it escalate kind of like our attendance policy does? Because one of the things we don't want to happen is if
028we're seeing this in fourth grade What's gonna happen when the child gets to eighth grade? So after three there has to be a plan So to repeat what Cindy said the state says after three incidences, you have to have a plan We're looking at an individual plans for each student. We're gonna try to look at like more of a district plan Nicole just a quick question on the after action plan as well. I Seeing the numbers like I guess I share Ryan's concern that there's just a Tremendous amount of time and energy being devoted to this and I worry about If that's the right amount of time that staff should be investing and I appreciate everything that you did with the numbers to kind of put it into context It's hard to ignore though the
029Huge uptick in cases and the introduction of hipster. Oh, yeah as a reporting metric I mean we can't kind of ignore that obvious and I'm just wondering like why and if If Hipster itself can be part of the after-action review and whether that's the right thing to continue doing to Adjudicate all of these, you know claims. I Agree with you I think we all looked at hipster and said wow hipster came it and we have an uptake and I think it could be two Things something's new people like to try things that are new We have it on our main page other districts don't necessarily have it that's readily available We make it so people oh you click here or the school page I think on each main school page It's very easily findable for
030people but it may also be that more people are reporting things that they Didn't feel comfortable going and telling someone you know having having an online Program that's that's web-based You know, you can be sitting in your bedroom at night and say you know what that really was upsetting what that person said And I am gonna report it anonymously Where before they had to sometimes go in and talk to the principal which may not be comfortable doing I mean There's there's different ways you can interpret the cuts of the data But I think the thing that strikes me too is the aggregated percentage You know year over year doesn't look that much different of confirmed cases So that tells me that there there may be some some extra energy being devoted to this process that
031maybe we we don't need I just would ask if we could maybe Consider that and if you don't mind is there if it would be possible to like Revisit after you've had a time some time to like implement some of this after-action stuff I would like to see these how these numbers trend over time I'd like to look next year with September and October November because those were pretty consistent from year to year So see if it hipster affected that Yeah trend, you know the end of the year was really where that you saw the distinct difference So we're assuming it's hipster. I assume that too But let's see what's up September October and November have to hold and see if it looks fairly consistent or not Thanks. I have a question about the no
032place for hate program. You want to implement is This a new program or is this a proven program that has data behind it that shows it has reduced Or is this something new and upcoming? Who recently? Okay, Cindy you wanna just so everyone here knows Cindy is our district anti-bullying specialist specialist miss Amino Yes It is a program that we are looking into we're still kind of in the discovery phase. We had a Rebecca dr. Siri dr. Fiorello and I had a call with them a lot of what they the program the implementation of the program Are things that we are we are already doing a lot of that character education a lot of that You know Mostly care, I would say character education, but it's formalizing it into a Kind of like a protocol
033that they have where if you implement like a morning meeting and you talk about you know Maybe they there's like a video a short video clip, and then you incorporate that into the morning meeting We be you know it's it hits kind of like some of the standards that are Care part of character education, so once we get more information I'm sure I'd be happy to come back over the summer and Right cuz I'm you I don't want to say I don't want to give too much because I'm not I don't have anything in Front of me. No, that's fine I'm just wondering if other districts have this in place and it's been effective in their districts because I know we just renewed Collier and is this going to be different from Collier is not
034going to replace Collier is A contracted service that we use for counseling and for Individual and small group counseling. This is not this is like a difference. It's almost like a tier one behavioral response to intervention Character education this would be something that the building the whole building would do it's more like Remember, I don't know if you remember like the pillars of character. Yes, it's more like that, but it it digs a little deeper into You know No place for hate inappropriate Diversity inappropriate racial terms like some of the things that You know, we might not necessarily have seen but some of the things that we are seeing when we're doing these HIV investigations right and so and That's fantastic. But my concern is there are many many programs that are always coming across
035our desks and I'm just curious as to the data that backs it up that shows it's an effective program before we invest Yes, and really have all this training and investment. I'd like to see the numbers on that I know I can say that um Colts neck high school uses it Okay, I know Spring Lake is is doing is using it And I can definitely get some more of the local school districts that are implementing it and some of the data to drive that drives Our decisions. Okay, appreciate it. Thank you We were also looking for a grant for this and to try it first at one school So see how it works before we so would we pilot it in a school? Yeah, okay. Thank you You had something to add and just with
036that as with anything with character education. It adds to what we're already doing When it comes to no place for hate or even with nurtured heart, I know there have been questions about that These are tools and strategies Do I think they're gonna completely Fix potential problems. No, but I think it's gonna do a lot of preventative work in helping to reinforce the culture We're trying to establish as Cindy said when it comes to no place for hate Similarly nurtured heart we look at is like a tier one intervention. It's a classroom management plan. It's How we speak and correspond with our students using Respectful talk which we do anyway, but this is a very structured program It's not meant to take away from discipline. It's not meant to say. Nope. There won't be consequences
037that all will continue but it's Along the lines of what we have with our multi-tiered system of supports, which as you know Academically has been very successful. So we look for tools when it comes to helping the behavioral needs of our students as well as well Docs and sure How long do How long do we pilot something such as no place for hate or like nurtured heart we implemented this year But it was kind of a soft rollout how long do we run these programs or how much time is needed to like be able to really assess them and Know whether they're truly working or not. We usually try to pilot for a year For a full year and I get the data to compare to previous years Of course, I mean anything like this
038isn't gonna you're gonna see a fast turnaround, right? Not like I hate now I don't But it'll be a slow turnaround, but we'll look for growth Anybody else are there any other questions? Okay, so in September we will move forward with changing how we report Because we just came up with this you'll still see the report the double report in July and then we'll start fresh in September And we'll have the new letters as well Okay, thanks for sharing they're good really good. Thank you. Thank you to the administrators for being here tonight as well. Okay, the second workshop item For the board is policy number five seven five six the transgender policy for us to talk about our second reading Again, this is a moment for the board to discuss. This is not meant
039for public input. This is not meant for public interaction with the board We'll have that time in a few moments But this is the time where we're going to discuss the policy Where it is today versus where it was a couple of weeks ago when it was introduced to the board to be revised so I'll actually turn it over to Christine Parisi you want to start or With any of the revisions or does anybody does anybody on the board want to talk about policy five seven five six How about that instead of pointing anybody out? Sorry? Sure, Brian, please Yeah, well, you know, we started taking a look at it and reviewing it and we formed a committee That a few of us spent tremendous amount of time along with input from our other board
040members Superintendent our board attorney and in trying to Fully assess the intent of the policy And how to best Keep keep the respect of both our students as well as the parents in mind When we considered making certain changes, I Feel very comfortable and very confident with where we're at and what we've come to I thank everybody who collaborated on it to help, you know get us to where it is and I truly do believe that you know, we have a very very sound policy in place Or being proposed that truly does Look out for the best interest of our students as a whole Okay, any other board members want to speak? I have some statement that I'd like to say before it turns over to public comments in regards to this I've heard the
041grass is green there on the other side ain't always what it seems But I won't hide behind a thousand lies at least I know who I am Now me to the cross outside of your ivory tower Where you sit so high on the house you ride as I stand here alone So heave me with the stones you cast your shadow looks back while you stare at glass You don't think I know I'm a jester before your throne to live without a care perfect in and out I won't hide behind a thousand lies. At least I know who I am I wish that I had the talent to compose the above statement I don't that credit goes to the musical artist jelly roll a musician who has touched so many Has touched so many as they
042struggle with drugs alcohol mental health issues and other personal physical issues I'm not supposed to be sitting on this dais tonight. I wasn't supposed to make it out of San Bernardino, California However, here I am raised by my parents trained in the military fought to defend your right To say how you feel in public with no threat of recourse To plead your feelings for those of us sitting here tonight in hopes of swaying the vote in favor Whether again whether against or for policy 5756 for weeks the Board of Education has received emails from both sides We spent we've been sent a hundred and two page document to review that in the title states questions and answers for parents families and friends of people Who are transgender and gender expansive I watched the nine-minute plus
043video that miss green sent to us to watch in it You can you can tell that Ava has the support of her parents Her mom even said she went from being shy and anxious to everyone remarked. She was so much more confident She just seemed happier. Why is this we will never know 100% but I'm confident it was because Ava had the love and support from her parents Dr. McNamara an assistant professor of pediatrics at Yale University This is the most careful and thoughtful type of medicine I have ever practiced think about that for a moment the most careful and thoughtful type of medicine that she has ever practiced Would you as a parent not want to know if your child was going through this type of medical treatment? I agree with dr. McNamara when
044she says it is painful to live with gender dysmorphia Dysmorphia and it really does need medical treatment in our schools The nurse can't give medicine for a headache without notifying the parent think about that for a second The nurse cannot give a child Tylenol for a headache without parental consent But in this critical medical treatment plan you are saying us not to involve that you're asking us to not involve the parent We as a district must I stress must call the parent before we give a Tylenol or motrin But if they're going through gender dysphoria, you want us to say silent Individual and groups can take the info However, they would like to this new fifty seven fifty six policy that we are voting on does not out children It allows for the parents the
045people that know their children the best to support them And if they are one of the point zero zero six percent of Americans that identify as transgender Including three hundred thousand teenagers according to the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law Then they the child should receive the proper and equitable child treatment that that child deserves I will remind everyone that when I stood in the audience as I ran for this position I made it crystal clear that no one no one not one of you would agree with me 100% of the time in fact I even said my wife doesn't agree with me all the time But that I would always have the children of this district's best interest at heart with each and every Vote that I cast especially votes as critical as
046this I have been and will continue to be an ally for the LGBTQI plus community However, I will not support notifying a parent if their child is faced with treatment for gender dysphoria For themselves, especially in the age range for our children's four to fourteen years old Go ahead Chris. Okay, so many of the board members sat down together to discuss the modifications of this policy This policy was made to ensure parents have the right and opportunity to support guide and protect their child They have the right to know you're assuming our parents are going to harm their own children our district many many of the parents support and love and care for their children and they will go the extra mile to make sure they are supported and cared for loved and received the
047proper guidance and the proper support and this proper resources that their child needs and So that's why we are modifying this policy Any other comments? I'm just gonna keep it much simpler and say I appreciated the committee Taking seriously the concerns that some of us raised and modifying the policy. I thought that the open communication was a positive thing I appreciated it and it's for the best. Thanks. Hey David. Thank you very much for your input. It was very helpful Make sure you get your public recognition for the work that you did as well. Anybody else? All right. Perfect. Thank you for that. And again, I will reiterate this was a collaborative effort with the board Dr. Santora even input from our administrators As well as our attorney. So All right. That is it for
048our workshop. All right, we are now going to go into item D, which is public comment a Couple things before we get started with public comment. I know there's going to be a lot of people speaking tonight There's a lot of emotion in the room a lot of passion in the room All I would like to say a couple things I'd like to say number one is I wish this passion and energy Would show up here when we're losing money from the state every year two plus million dollars a year and having to fire teachers and cut back on programs for our students, but I don't know hopefully that'll happen next year and people will show up and help us fight the The state to get our funding back that we've lost every year year
049over year for the last five or six years additionally You could step up to the mic. You'll have three minutes state your name and address clearly, please That's number one. Number two, please respect everybody's opinion. You don't have to agree with them You can clap I'd rather you not boo, but you can clap you could cheer but please respect them Okay, I'm going to sit here all night until everybody speaks. I will not go home. I will stay here The board will stay here. We will listen to everybody as long as it's done respectfully Okay, if it gets out of hand, there's yelling and screaming. That's why I have a gavel meetings over I go home I watch TV with my kids plain and simple. I have no problem shutting the meeting down I've spoken
050to the attorney about it. I've spoken to Ronnie about it I know exactly what I'm allowed to do what I'm not allowed to do tonight and it will do what I have to do to Make sure that this is a peaceful Conversation, okay. We're all here for children last time I checked Okay. So again, please respect each other Value you don't have to agree with anybody Just listen to what they have to say let them move on and we'll go on and on until everybody gets to say what they Need to say Danielle did I miss anything? Yes, mr. Graham. I just like to add a few things on behalf of legal. Good evening. Everyone. My name is Danielle Penise I'm legal counsel for the Board of Education Cleary Giacobbe due to the volume of
051attendance this evening Please be reminded of the rules governing public comment pursuant to board policy Please be aware that this portion of the meeting is your opportunity to comment It is not a forum for the board to respond to your comments The board will of course as mr. Graham noted give all comments appropriate consideration when permitted public Participation shall be governed by the following rules pursuant to district policy 0167 a Participant must be recognized by the board president and must preface comments by an announcement of his or her name Municipality of residents and group affiliation if applicable each statement made by a participant shall be limited to three minutes duration No participant may speak more than once on the same topic Until all others who wish to speak on that topic have been heard the
052presiding officer may interrupt Warn or terminate a participant statement question or inquiry when it is too lengthy The board president may also call for a recess or an adjournment to another time when the lack of public decorum interferes with the orderly conduct of the meeting Finally the board president may request the assistant of law enforcement or school security and the removal of a disorderly person When that person prevents or disrupts the meeting with an act that obstructs or interferes with a meeting Thank you for your attendance this evening. And with that we will open the floor to public comment. Thank you Brian real quick I have one question clarifying question. Is this for just agenda items or non agenda items also? I've had people ask me Just wanted to clarify because I've been asked I
053wanted to make sure that I talked about whatever they want to talk about at This point so Brian. Yes, Dottie Um Maybe we need to remind the public to the public comment is one hour. No, we're gonna let everybody speak tonight Oh, okay. Yeah, we're gonna let everybody speak. I'm not gonna. Yeah Also, we have the clock over there. So be mindful of your time there again I'm not gonna cut you off be respectful to each other and this will be go Everybody will get their time. So, thank you, please My name is William field. I'm in Howell, New Jersey Good evening. Can you hear me now? Yes, my name is William field. I'm a resident of Howell, New Jersey I'm here on behalf of the Holmdel Community United Church of Christ Which draws people
054from all across Monmouth County including Monalapam as people of faith and members of the United Church of Christ We hold fast to God's command to love our neighbors our transgender and non-binary adults and youth These neighbors in Christ are under attack by legislatures school boards and media across the country Across the country it is our responsibility as people of faith to raise our voices in support of safety Justice and equity for trans and non-binary people everywhere in this room. We share common ground We desire our children's safety. We seek their emotional and physical well-being We long for their eventual flourishing as successful adults We want our children to be safe at school where they spend so much of their young lives As to as for gender identity and sexual orientation the research and the science
055is illuminating one Adolescents navigate questions of gender identity and sexual orientation before or during puberty Sometimes the discovery is quick and self-evident too often. It is confusing to Supportive parents with strong bonds of trust with their children are crucial sources of understanding and guidance But not all children are blessed with such a supportive nurturing home environment Sometimes for any number of reasons parents are disparaging Openly hostile or even dangerous in their rejection of their child's questions and concerns even of the child themselves three Transgender and queer youth without support are far more likely to show poor mental health Self-injury and develop suicidal ideation Your proposal changed as it is if adopted will remove a crucial safety net from students Informing parents against that the students wishes could cause great harm There are still ambiguity in
056your state in your policy and there's still room to make errors and exposed Children to parents who are not supportive. There have been too many tragedies Suicide as you know is epic is an epidemic among LGBTQIA youth sometimes the school provides the only safe harbor a Student has the ambiguity in your proposal where you say you require telling parents unless quote There is reason to believe unquote. It might be dangerous We'll have this to have the effect of suppressing the expression of that discovery and will harm mental health Jesus said I come that you may have life and have it abundantly And as the council of conference minister of the night church of Christ has written the lives of trans and non-binary people are precious They are God's beloved children our siblings created like all
057of us for a life free from hatred and recrimination The church cannot be silent and with that I'll stop because my time is running out. Thank you Hello, my name is Janice. I won it. I'm also from Howell Township My name is Janice I won it from Howell Township and I'm here Testifying on behalf of the League of Women Voters of Monmouth County Okay, my name is Janice I won it is that better is it on I Just want to clarify for a moment our microphone is connected to the camera so that when we when it goes on Film that everyone can hear it So it's sometimes hard to hear and hear But we have to use this microphone so that it comes through on the video if we don't use that microphone It will
058come through on the video Make it like a reverb Long as you don't get feedback Is that better Okay, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. My name is Janice. I won it. I live in Howell Township I am here testifying on behalf of the League of Women Voters of Monmouth County our league Works in conjunction with the League of Women Voters of New Jersey Nonpartisan and we work on issues by consensus We research and we study and I'm testifying today that We have done that and this is our statement the League of Women Voters has a long history of advocating for rights health and education of children Defending our democracy and ending discrimination against the LGBTQ plus community go hand-in-hand We are gravely concerned with proposed policies That put students safety and mental health
059at risk and violate New Jersey's law against discrimination Public schools are a cornerstone of democracy And New Jersey should strive to ensure our schools are safe inclusive and welcoming for all proposals like this are causing extreme political polarization and Are manufactured to divide our communities and increase distrust in public education and civic engagement Outing children puts them at risk for bullying harassment and discrimination It makes them more vulnerable to self-harm and suicide Despite arguments, otherwise numerous studies and data show that forced outing to parents is harmful Not helpful to the LGBTQ plus youth Here is the bottom line if a child is not sharing information about their sexuality or gender identity with their Caregivers those grown-ups should be concentrating on the environment. They are fostering within the four walls of their own home Instead of
060attacking and blaming the schools where a child might feel safer It is important to note that this is not a standalone policy But part of a concentrated effort to undermine public education in addition to attacks on LGBTQ and students rights the campaign also bans books attacks on sexual education and attempts to rewrite American history by prohibiting accurate and necessary conversations about race and equity The League of Women Voters cannot stand by while a small minority Uses our classrooms as political battlegrounds at the expense of our students and our country's future our county This is also an attack on public schools Educators and people who have served highly who are highly trained Experienced teachers. It's causing them to leave the field of education It is time to say no to these attacks time to support our
061educators and stand up for our children We urge the Board of Education to reject the proposals under consideration tonight. Thank you Good evening. I'm Lex Friedman Menallapin Township Here are my objections to this policy first the sentence quote for students in grades pre-k through 5 the responsibility for determining his students Gender identity rests with the students parents. I'm a parent of three kids I'd like to say I have one of each a son a daughter and a non-binary kid The board's policy correctly defines gender identity as a personal internal deeply held sense of gender But it incorrectly identifies the responsible party parents do not determine their child's gender identity as every parent knows We can't dictate our kids internal deeply held innermost thoughts I can't dictate my kids gender identity any more than I can
062dictate who they have a crush on on their favorite color This policy literally states determining a gender identity rests with the students parents parents do not have that power The only person who can determine someone's gender identity is that someone don't force a red crayon in my hand Because my parents told you is my favorite color if I still want to paint the sky blue More worryingly this policy despite your claims to the opposite Requires that a student's parents be notified about transgender students gender identity name change or other accommodation Quote provided there's no credible evidence that doing so would endanger the child I can't turn my page and provided there was no threat of physical or emotional harm or abuse My friends there is universal credible evidence that forced outing will always lead to
063emotional harm That's what forcing does children don't waive their constitutional rights by enrolling in public school Federal law affords kids and adults the right to privacy Violating a student's constitutional right to privacy is absolutely a form of harm and abuse Students need to feel safe at school They need to trust their educators and staff and they need to be safe at home, too It is fundamentally harmful for the school to force students to out themselves to their parents or to be outed You must remove the forced outing from this policy back to the language again The principal should inform the student to do the legal requirements and or the students protection and well-being there may be incidents where the students Transgender status will be disclosed We know as you've heard twice already tonight that trans
064and non-binary students were at the highest risk of depression and suicide Requiring that the principal tell a student I may have to forcibly out you with a claim that it's for their protection and well-being isn't just illogical and flawed It's wrong and harmful Requiring the principal to warn kids They could be forcibly outed is a policy that intentionally or not will cruelly shut kids up about their gender identity Lest they have to forfeit that right to privacy I also want to flag that this latest revision of the policy removed language about permitting and supporting students in the formation of clubs Or programs related to LGBTQ youth and peer-led education groups guidance from the New Jersey Department of Education Explicitly calls for such permission and support to comply with state law. So where did that language
065go? We don't have the best track record in this country regarding dealing with people who we see as different Took an amendment to legally treat black people like human beings. We didn't grant women the right to vote until 1920 We didn't legalize gay marriage until 2015 trans rights are human rights. It's decision time Do you want to make more decisions that you'll be embarrassed by a few short years from now? Or do you want to recognize that people are people that love is love that identity is identity and that the most vulnerable among us deserve a right to privacy Hello one second. Hello Hey, this is what I said. This is where the meeting will end I promise I promise this is where the meeting will end. I have no problem doing it. It's a
066public meeting. It's being videotaped Act appropriately before you before you start When the beep goes off at three minutes Know that you got about ten seconds to wrap it up or then I will cut not just you I'm everybody out there Okay, go ahead. Please that beep is not saying it's up. The beep is telling you you got wrap it up and say thank you Okay, thank you. My name is Noah Lebowitz. I am a graduate of MEMS and I am gay and Non-binary I'm here to speak on behalf of the students not on behalf of the parents not on behalf of Mr. Jesse, whatever your name is who is fear-mongering By saying that kids are getting hormones from their nurses in school, which is objectively untrue You're you're touting a lie to start and
067I know he wants to respond but I'm gonna keep going He's touting a lie to you the parents as one of the people who supports this Ruling because he wants you to be afraid because he read something on Newsmax that scared him about the cross-dressing bogeyman Now I'm gonna tell you a story about my experience in MEMS Okay, I was never out to anyone in MEMS I came from a an Orthodox yeshiva and to this day I am still an Orthodox Jew I Was on the wrestling team in seventh and eighth grade and in eighth grade I Was attacked by a student because he thought I was gay not because I was gay not because I told anyone was I was I was he was right. Funny fact kids actually have a good way of
068telling things They know they're smarter than you're giving them credit and they know how to bully kids for that Even if they don't even know they're gay yet. Okay, so Picture this I'm on the wrestling team in eighth grade I was a yeshiva kid who didn't really know all of the you know, the the unspoken rules of being a kid in public school So my shorts were very short for a male By by your standards by any straight person standards This kid saw my shorts and we had a changing room. It wasn't a locker room it was just some cement storage closet in one of the gyms and I happened to be one of the last people getting changed that day and He said hey faggot and I turned around and he pulled out a
069belt It was one of those metal studded ones from Hot Topic that were popular back then and he started beating me He beat me and he beat me and he said that's what you get you dirty faggot This is what all you faggots deserve and that is the kind of environment that your school is you can claim that? No parents gonna beat their kids But God knows whoever raised that kid would have beat the living hell out of him if he ever told them he was gay or trans You can claim that this is a perfect community But every child who ever grew up in one of your schools in any school in this country knows that all they know is being bullied Whether it's in public whether it's not I never told anyone because
070I knew that your head rolling is a bunch of bullshit Here's that smaller mic the one on the stand the small one. Yeah, please. What's that? Is that gonna affect the film? No, you sound great. I hear you Oh Feel like they're like stooping over it. Oh, you can hold the mic up if you're feeling if you don't lean over. Yeah You sounds it fine that we can hear definitely going through the mic. I hear you. Yeah, I can project good. Go ahead All right My name is Jillian Omitoso. I'm from Ocean Township, New Jersey I've spoken at a few of these now and I'll read it some remarks. They wrote just now Hello, I have been hearing a lot about this move to reveal the gender concerns of youths to their parents. I Disagree
071with it. This is why I fear that children will be levied a tough circumstance for themselves on top of a tough circumstance And it and feel pressured to be at the mercy of their parents who might not be accepting of said Circumstance as a legitimate stressor for their child When a youth feels ready to tell anyone near to them of their own deeply felt sexual or gender identity That is their prerogative and it must be handled delicately Empathetically and confidentially with the minors volition as to whether further people should know about it I don't condemn placing a teacher under the role of messenger by do condemn the mandating of it For it to be guaranteed beyond the minor or youths volition that they're deeply felt personal feelings about their identity is to put them in
072harms away LGBT youth and namely trans youth are still at a disproportionate risk of disowning and abandonment by their parents Although yes, there is a very at very least a plurality of parents who will warmly support their trans child Trans youth especially run the risk of being forbidden care if their parents not on board an Intervention will be useful in this context, but not without the child's readiness to have such I Believe that there is an insidious concern regarding the autonomy of trans minors and LGBT minors to be able to discover and voice themselves on their own time I believe that they are being policed and denied of their validity and even coherent existence categorically I defend clearness of perspective But I also defend the rights of youths to their own story and I believe
073mandator and I believe Mandatorily involving their parents into their own burgeoning privacy as individuals It's to break down their sense of trust as well as their sense of being accounted for and in compassionate hands Once again, I do believe there is a time and place for parents in such matters They are obviously the caretakers providers and progenitors of their own children. They deserve a seat at the table of concern, too But they deserve that the permission and readiness of the child This is a very earnest and difficult issue for even an adult to come to self-acceptance and publicity over For a child they deserve that chance for privacy and confidence Give them time and then maybe we can all talk let them first talk on their own terms and Then we can see what to
074do. Thank you all. Is this all right? Yes, please. All right Good evening, Manalapin. My name is Sam Matara I've been a resident of Howell Township since 1995 and I'm here today to support trans kids. I grew up in Monmouth County I've taught mathematics at Middletown High School South and worked as a library assistant for the Monmouth County library system All of this to say I've worked to support brilliant kids and have concerns regarding this policy Children that are forcibly outed by school staff to ignorant or abusive parents will learn that it's not safe to confide in these adults Who are supposed to have their best interests in mind? During and before adolescence people often experiment with their expression and that's a good thing which should be encouraged Social transition is neither irreversible nor dangerous
075When the home environment isn't supportive school is one of the few other places kids have I Attended high school during the years of 2006 to 2010 and the Gay Straight Alliance Club was instrumental in helping me feel supported The proposed policy puts both individual students and groups like these like pride groups in middle schools at severe risk When a child feels safe enough to come out to an adult in their life using a name or pronoun The best thing that adult can do to immediately support them is validate them by using those pronouns This basic step has been shown to reduce rates of depression and self-harm When a child tells you who they are you have two choices You can either listen and believe them or you can other them and contribute to them distressing
076the world around them. Thank you Hello, can you hear me? Hi. Hi everyone. My name is Johnny Candell. I'm from Freehold, New Jersey born and raised Yeah, I went to freehold township high school also So I kind of have been around here in the students shoes and I think I can enlighten some of the bigoted parents a little bit so yeah trans people are people and their kids just like your kids and Maybe your kids might even be trans now if that scares you you might have Transphobia and that's a bad thing That means that your kid may not feel comfortable talking to you or coming out to you that'll lead to years of stress You guys breaking up dividing maybe you'll meet up again when you're 80 dying on your deathbed But I don't
077think your kids gonna want to show up because you're kind of terrible. You're teaching your kid that hey I'm you finally found out who you're supposed to be. I'm seeing you see yourself But I don't believe in it I don't think it's okay And I think that there's a lot of parents in this room who maybe said to their partner or to themselves I'll love my child no matter what I'm ready to be a parent if you're not gonna love your child if and when they're trans You're not a good parent. You're not one now and you never will be one So, please give respect to the children in your lives Whether they identify as male female non-binary transgender or anything under the Sun because these kids deserve love They deserve a safe place to
078learn and I think a lot of people on this board are not giving that to them And that's a damn shame So I think some of you should really pack it up look in words and say if my child was trans would they feel comfortable? Talking to me would they feel safe in my house if they had a trans friend Hey, can Robbie come over for a project or are they gonna be concerned and say well, my mom actually hates trans people So we can't do it at my house. That's freaking insane I'm living in a world where we're having a meeting about the rights of trans people and the loudest people are not gay trans Or anything and you just want to protect your kids, but you don't want to educate anyone Please I'm
079anywhere near kids. It's an all-adult Address address the board not the parents. You're here to address the board to the board. I Appreciate that you're letting everyone talk. I think a lot of people have some great things to say I also hope that you take into consideration that some people just maybe aren't educated in what their kids need and I think That's a problem that should maybe be talked about going forward. So thank you so much for your time I believe in trans rights and I'm sad that other people do not in this room. Thank you My name is Megan Lewis. I'm in English town I'm here as a parent who cares for their kid and they're not even in the district anymore So three years ago I sat in my son's IEP meeting after
080months of emotional and draining events leaning up to that meeting during that last meeting I attended him in Alpin. I was treated like a criminal when my husband was asked Asked why the door was open to the office that we were sitting in they said don't worry. Nobody's in there However, that was a lie. There was someone sitting in there They were not invited to that meeting nor did he sign in during that meeting I was told by the head of special education, which is not here anymore. She walked out. I Was a bad mother and I was a my son would never be successful I would be lucky if he would ever graduate along with many other unprofessional remarks after that meeting my husband and I made the decision to instead of suing the
081district to pull all of our children out of the district that was failing them and putting put them in Catholic school and It was the best decision we ever made on June 9th 2023 after three years in st. Benedict's My son flourished beyond words. He gained the confidence he needed to drop thrive academically that Menalpin didn't bother to give him Instead they knocked him down day after day. Not only did he grow academically but in his eighth grade graduation He was presented with the following the excellence in financial literacy the excellence in pre-algebra the Bernard Patriotic heart and soul award that recognized his character and leadership and lastly he received the grace scholarship Not only was my son successful and graduated. He did so with the confidence love academic awards and an academic scholarship I
082stand here today to look at all of you in the eyes and you in the eyes and let you know that Even though she was the one who made those remarks and we all know who she was and It was inappropriate to be said during those IEP meetings the district and administration knows and Allows her to continue in her position to affect the many others and you know, there are others. I Saw it from the inside as a former employee and I knew there was never going to be a change My husband and I were lucky enough to pull out our five boys from Menalpin and put them in st Benedict's where they are loved Challenged academically and thriving in moat as individuals and the st. Benedict's family came here to support me today Before
083I close this chapter I like the current families who always question your child's programs here because I can promise you that Gigi Petillo and the Menalpin District does not always have your children's best interest in heart I know that as a parent and a former employee the district should reevaluate the special education department and the many staff members That came and gone as well the complaints that have been brought up about her Maybe she is the problem Lastly, I'd like the board and everyone to know that I just recently received a bill for two of my children Asking for money for lunch. That's due when they attended sixth and second grade They never attended sixth or second grade here and the year that they attended sixth and second grade at st Benedict's was the year
084of Colvin where it was a free lunch If the district doesn't realize that my children not in the school or enrolled How can they be trusted with providing the correct programs for a child? Or is it because they were still active because they're not in a public school anymore. So you're still receiving the funds I don't know. You'd be the ones to decide Good evening My name is Tasman Weisgerber of Hightstown, New Jersey And I have been in the field of sex education for close to a decade now one of my duties in this role is to provide professional development to educated to educators including the importance of inclusion for Transgender students and New Jersey's policies regarding transgender students including the revised policy, which is Illegally attempting to be passed tonight I do have to
085say that I agree with whichever board member it was who stated that youth experiencing gender dysphoria Need the professional support that they deserve So I agree with you on that part But if a child does not feel comfortable coming out to a parent or caregiver It is likely that they also will not be receiving any gender-affirming care. So We need to protect our students transgender youth face some of the highest rates of bullying harassment sexual assault homelessness as well as Emotional and physical abuse at home while this revised policy claims to prevent outing in cases of suspected potential abuse Just because abuse isn't suspected doesn't mean it isn't happening or couldn't potentially happen Before the confidentiality policies were in place in New Jersey a teacher had a student struggling with their identity and decided to
086call the parent Who they knew well in the hopes that they could work together to help the student So the teacher made the phone call home and the next day that student showed up to school with a black eye We need to protect our students and we can do that by trusting that our students know their home life better than we do Because they do in my conversations with school counselors They share that the majority of trans students, especially those in elementary school do involve their families the students who choose not to are usually fearful of how their guardian might react or they already know they would not be accepted by Denying our students the ability to have one space where they can confide in a trusted adult or get to experience their school Day
087in a way that makes them feel more comfortable in their own skin We are harming our students and increasing their risk for suicidal ideations and Attempts which again are significantly higher So if we truly want to protect our students, we must not accept this revised policy, but let's play it out Let's say that there is a 10 year old student who identifies as transgender and doesn't want their caregivers to be informed But wants to socially transition at school, which is the only thing that's able to be done at 10 years old Where they spend 30 plus hours a week all that happens is that they may use a different name Students use nicknames all the time be addressed by different pronouns a minor change and Possibly use a different bathroom while at school That's all
088those are all of the changes if that is going to make that 10 year old feel happy for 30 hours a week And improve their self-esteem Why would anyone who cares about young people not want to allow that to happen? If you're thinking they can just wait until they're older and know better a research study showed that young children who socially Transition at a young age continue to identify as transgender or non-binary after five years So, please do not revise this cop policy and keep it as New Jersey made it rich rich I got it. I got it. I got I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it this Okay Count that ten nine eight seven. Okay, I get to one it's over Okay We're gonna take a five-minute recess. Thank
089you. All right, we are back in open Danielle. Come on Dottie. Take your seat Good evening. Public comment has resumed Please be advised that if there are further disruptions We will either have to have another recess and or mr. Oba guard will remove the people from the room The police department will be involved if necessary Again, please we need to maintain order and continue the meeting. Thank you Okay, please continue My name is Ryan and I'm a graduate of Brick Township Public Schools. I'm also gay and non-binary I knew that I was queer when I was nine years old. No one told me I wasn't indoctrinated or brainwashed I just knew like one father said earlier that a child knows that their favorite color is blue I knew also almost immediately that my parents didn't
090want me to be queer My teachers didn't want me to be queer and my classmates didn't either in elementary school I heard the word faggot directed at me for the first time before I even knew what it meant by sixth grade I knew that queer kids were the ones who got beaten up and ridiculed And so I also knew to say nothing to anyone about my queerness Few people in this room can understand what that kind of self negation and erasure does to a person and how deeply it hurts But I do and I know that the queer people in this room know it as well I didn't have friends I felt safe enough in middle school to come out and use proper pronouns with But if I had I know that under no circumstances
091would I have ever wanted that information divulged to my parents without my consent Under no circumstances ever. I don't think my parents would have hit me I don't think they would have kicked me out of my home But thankfully I never had to find out and what I do know is that they would not have tolerated my queerness I cannot understand how this policy or any like it think that they act in the best interest of trans children When adults in this area are not welcoming to trans people as shown by the reactions of many people in this room I personally don't feel safe here What i've noticed is that it's really scary for parents like my own and like many in this room Who don't understand or want to understand or love queerness or
092gender expression? It's hard for them to relinquish the control or sense of entitlement they think they have over their kids But trans kids have rights trans kids know what they need to do to feel safe If you want to know if your kid is trans just ask them if they don't want to tell you they definitely have good reason It's really that simple and any policy that says otherwise is transphobic and wrong Please reject this policy and protect trans children so we can grow into trans adults. Thank you Hi, can you hear me? My name is robin. I live in manalapan for over 30 years I raised my children here and they went through this school system. I don't recognize this town any longer I am a patriot and I do not want the government
093meddling in my business I believe that most of the people in this room don't want the government in their private business You agree with me good So why are we here? If you care about parental rights Why would you want to deputize educators in the school system to get in the middle of your personal family issues? As personal as your child's sexuality I empathize with parents who want to know But if your kid wants to be sally instead of sal and your relationship with your kid is so shitty That your child can't talk with you. That's a you problem Why are you making that problem my problem the school's problem the teacher's problems the community problems And why am I paying for it? Why is this community paying for it? We're going to lose eight
094million dollars in funding because of a lawsuit because of this policy Why are so-called parental rights supporters in this room and board? Deputizing the government and school staff into personal business do your own Parenting be better parents leave the teachers alone A yes vote to change any language in this policy means you are giving up your freedom and your parental rights And who knows to who in the school system? I don't know who convinced certain school members school board members or members of this community to believe that Deputizing the school is a good thing or empowers your rights. It is literally the opposite This is not about secrets. There is no surgery happening here and the board should correct the lies that were told earlier This is about the government interfering in your parenting process
095and not good for your children or your family There are not two sides to this nobody wants the government meddling in their business A yes vote to any language change is attack on our personal freedom Period the board has overreached and invited the school into matters that are not their business If you advocate for parental rights and you've been convinced that the board needs to make this change You are being lied to you are being misled and you're voting against your own personal rights The board knows that we're going to be sued. They know we're going to lose our funding They know that our tax our taxes are going to go up and they also know that our town ratings are going to go down So why is this board deliberately bringing us into a
096politically charged? costly lawsuit for no reason I urge this board to make no changes to the mandated policy Any language change is a slippery slope to government overreach and strips us of our personal rights and freedoms The community must hold the members of the board accountable that have politicized our board Misled and caused anger and confusion and dragged us into a lawsuit. Mr. Tassetti And mr. Ferber robin robin robin robin robin robin three Times up. Sorry Okay, time's up. I I don't need everybody to moderate. I got under control And by the way, mr Graham and mr. Cain Okay, and dr santora it is on you to correct what the lies that he told because thank you Thank you. Thank you. Thank you Thank you. Thank you, please no My name is roger i'm a
097resident in millstone township I wanted to come out here today originally had a speech prepared But I feel that the people have come before me have already said more than I could possibly say in this time So I just wanted to share my personal story because I feel that it's very relevant to what's being debated tonight when I was in sixth grade is when I first began questioning my sexuality and I came to the To the realization that I was gay and still am to this day and always have been And I used to write little journals to myself because at the time I only had maybe two or three friends total that I told That because I was so uncomfortable in the town. I grew up in And I definitely did not tell my
098parents my parents were the last people I ever came out to I told all of my Other family members first my grandmother my aunts and everybody Because I did not feel comfortable with that That being said in sixth grade around the end of the school year. I remember it was in music class I went to the bathroom for a few moments and I left that little journal in which I said That I was gay and that I was very scared about my parents finding out because I was Born in a very christian household that did not accept that And I left these I left this journal in the room And I came back to my music teacher standing out in the hallway holding the note that I had written And she had informed me at
099that point that one of the students in that class had taken that note out of my bag Stolen it and passed it around the entire classroom for everybody to read So now the entire class knew that I was gay It went from two people to the whole class to soon probably the whole school because ward gets around the teacher asked me if what i'd written was true and I was Dumbstruck with fear and I was numb and I said yes And she took that note and that was what I thought would be the last of it And as I was on my way to lunch later that day, uh this the vice principal of our school pulled me aside on the way Took me into her office where both of my parents were there waiting
100same day They had called them in the middle of the school day stopped both of what they were doing had them come in She walked me into her office and shut the door behind me and she left She left me in there and for 20 minutes straight my father screamed at me While my mother just sat there and stared And my father just screamed at me said that I was trying to get attention and said that I must have lied because how could His son possibly be gay I say this Because this is very clearly an example of a forced outing. This is exactly why this should not be passed This policy It has no place in any school and it is terrifying to me that that traumatizing event Is now being made into policy
101that will happen to so many other children That is by far to this day the most traumatizing event that has happened to me in my entire life And I will now share the next part of that which is that in ninth grade After a few years of don't ask don't tell I came out on my own terms. I'm sorry father and my father accepted me at that point Thank you came out on my own terms Peter haug manalapan You know, I can't help but notice that a lot of people here aren't from manalapan Maybe they need to you know, go back to their schools and raise the questions there Gender dysphoria has a higher chance of suicide. I think everyone on this panel can agree on that Now you won't you don't have to say
102yes or no, but I think that's a fact, right? Well, the people against are making the point for me better than I ever could If they are if our children are in such danger Like you're saying Why shouldn't the parents know? Why? I don't want to learn That my child committed suicide and there wasn't something I couldn't do for my child. I have three kids One said the other day. He's a dinosaur. Are you going to take him to the museum? I mean, what are we talking about here? The people that come up and they say they're religious Liberalism is the religion Come on What are you talking about? And anyway, I can't you know, there's just so many things I could say But you know, let the good people here Make up their minds,
103but this is manalapin. I've been here my whole life grown up Since I went to high school. I went to milford brook. I went to mems And I don't know Where I am anymore Okay. This is about parents lights parents rights Um, why does the state think they they get to go between me and my son and my daughter? What gives you the right? And does this not invite children to become groomed by their teachers that we need to find out about in the rubber room later? That you won't fire Right. So please i'm for this completely as you can tell please notify the parents And I noticed a lot of these people up here. They don't have children They don't have children And that's all i'm about to say on this I mean it
104doesn't go far enough We haven't even had a debate on What trans is and what that means? I mean, I don't know if people on the border prepare to say what a woman and what a man is But I would love to hear your definitions. Thank you Hi My name is ron mcclurkin. I'm a resident of manalapin and so i'd like to start with what I Would think would be obvious that This policy seems this seems to be a policy that's in search of a problem Because you know honestly There is no mirrors Transgender problem Just like there's no mirrors crt problem These are these are Manufactured issues that are actually directed at you The board members it's an attempt a coordinated campaign To try to get you each of you to align yourself with
105a specific narrow political ideology And so I guess you have to ask the question Is this the actual direction that you personally Would have us go in Is this what you think? Personally is in the best interest of all of the citizens of manalapin in englishtown because It doesn't end here It never does Right around the corner You're going to be asked to start banning books You know, it's there It's going to happen the lists are already being drawn up Okay, after that it's going to be what ideas or what revisionist history can be taught in the curriculum? so You can stop it. You can stop it right now Just nip it in the bud and say no Just say nope We're not going to go down that path And you can choose another path
106one that Countless boards before you have chosen and that's to use your limited resources In support of our teachers and our administrators To tackle the actual real educational issues in the district so I'll just i'll just end that Obviously, I hope you reject this This resolution that that's before you and actually apart from unlike most of the people here Except you i've actually sat on the board of education And I know that of all the pro forma hundreds of votes that you have to take There are going to be a few that will resonate Far beyond your individual tenure on this board and I believe that this vote May actually be one of them So thank you for your time and attention Doesn't tighten doesn't tighten Is this good? Jessica Stevens cornwallis court Before I
107start I just wanted to say to the young gentleman that did speak A few minutes ago and the one I don't think he's still here He spoke earlier about his story at men's if there is not another adult that has told you i'm sorry that happened to you And that you did not properly get to address it and I am sorry that that ever happened to you It should never have happened to you And i'm sorry that you didn't get the opportunity to properly speak to your parents about it I've thought a lot about the group that was coming here tonight The parents of the students in this district And the other guests that we've had join us and i've researched some of them and i've seen that the room is filled with an alphabet
108soup of credentials Educated people and i've read the literature To paraphrase it said that 40 percent of lgbtq kids say their homes are not inclusive or accepting and we've heard that tonight So i'm just trying to understand if the kids are not comfortable to speak to their parents their parents of all people About their sexual orientation or gender identity I'm picturing to set a visual an old-fashioned al and peg bundy household and you're coming home and i'm thinking to myself If they're going to transition or do this at school How does this now play out when they come home? And in six months This boy Is showing girl features Or this girl has facial hair The home that we were told would be abusive to even speak and tell of these feelings Would this be
109more inclusive six months down the line when we have physical symptoms of this going on in school? Is it going to not be a violent situation then? I'm just not understanding what the end game would be Would the children not be going home to their families? Are we proposing that now children who do not like the households they're living in or do not feel accepted Can move out of their homes Does it even make sense? If we're temporarily transitioning the children at school and then their front friend at home calls them by one name Aren't they confused enough with what goes on during the day? The emotional issues that come from hormones and mental health This becomes a long-term situation Which is then landed in a parent's lap to financially care for for the rest
110of their lives Something that can go on like this and jesse you are correct But the school nurse can actually not even administer motrin to the children. We have to come to school So they have to call you for a headache, but they can't even take Advil or Tylenol so they could make a decision like this Without even discussing it with us I'm not understanding what the end game would be for these kids Good evening. My name is dr. Joey perella vineland new jersey I'm actually here tonight to share some words from a former student here at manalapan school district their name is Allison colark class of 2002 manalapan high school My name is allison colark. Most people call me ak. I grew up here. I've been out here I've been out of the closet
111since I was 15 years old. That's almost 25 years 25 years of fighting 25 years of watching the agendas of the ignorant the cruel and the passively silent do nothing Do nothing to attempt to legislate my body my life and my freedoms for almost two-thirds of my life I have fought against those who would use what little power they have to stamp out the hopes and aspirations of anyone who is different Those who would use the mortar and pestle of despair and authority to grind children into the fine powder of hopeless conformity These draconian policies are nothing nothing short of pandering to your most extreme voters in your in your voter base You're using the lives and bodies of lgbtq children as cannon fodder for your careers We're not afraid of you We're not afraid
112to tell you and the world exactly what you're doing after the aforementioned 25 years of fighting There is nothing you can say or do to me that hasn't already been done by some more far more capable But the kids in your different district who aren't capable of fighting are a different story Your loudest and most base and argument is that keeping the child's pronouns and chose the name From their parents is somehow hiding things from the parent. Let me make it abundantly clear If your kid doesn't feel comfortable coming out at home, I need to remind every parent of this take a look in the mirror As I stated before I grew up here the lessons I was taught as a toddler echoed down the line through the high school heterosexual heteronormative Homogeneously white nuclear
113family units were the norm and there was little to no deviation from that and yet here I am Gay as confetti And generalists as sunshine no amount of talking about heterosexual families or education Regarding heterosexual sex will ever make a gay person kid or adult not gay or trans We were all by default groomed to be heterosexual Compulsory heterosexuality was the default and in some many sad instances all across the country and the world it still is And yet here we are still lesbian still gay still bi still trans Still queer and still ready to fight tooth and nail for the basic human dignities taken for granted by the straight world The basic acknowledgement of our existence and our rich history, which might I remind you is your history, too You're pushing this poisonous madness
114of lgbtq eraser on a whole new generation. The difference is this time they've got us The battle-hardened connected community builders and world shakers along with an army of allies to back them up and remind them That not only do they have the right to exist just as they are but that they can and will thrive that way We lost an entire generation due to the silence and inject and willful ignorance of people in power And that's the true sum of it all isn't it? Willful ignorance. Maybe it's the only real sin there is okay. Thank you Thank you. My name is jacob pender from ruckers new brunswick. Uh, and i'm going to start by finishing the letter that was I'm sorry. Are there people shouting at me? Please continue. Don't ignore what's behind you I'm
115from ruckers new brunswick. I'm going to finish what was just read I advise you to weigh your options going forward because if you continue to use our children as collateral in a culture war You're going to lose you'll be looked at with disgust in the in history if you're looked back on at all Uh, thank you for your time. Um, so that was the end of that speech and I really appreciate that Um now i'm going to talk about myself for a second. I just had a conversation Conversation Sorry, I I guess i'm being selfish here. Um, I just had no that's fine I just had a lovely conversation with someone and uh They asked me when did I know I was non-binary for those who don't know i'm i'm queer. I identify as non-binary
116Um, and my answer was I always have been I only found what term Fit it when I was about 15 and when I was about 18, I felt comfortable coming out But I did so not knowing Not because I didn't know what I was not because any word not because any book Not because any pronoun not because any teacher not because any school district could make me non-binary but Because that is who I was That is because when I found a word when I found a term That told me who I was that made me feel that there was a community that accepted me I Went to that word. I identified with that word because in the end is nothing but a word My identity is who I am. It's who I am on the
117inside. It's how I should be respected It's how everyone on this board today is respected I when I came out I came out first to my parents I was lucky to have parents that I knew I could come out to And I came out to my parents because they raised me knowing that I would be loved for who I am I did not come out to my teacher who I knew only for eight months I came out to my parent who I my parents who I knew for 18 years If a child decides to come out to a teacher Or their the students in their class who they have known for a fraction of their life Versus a parent who is going to raise them who raised the child since they were born If they
118feel more comfortable with that teacher than the parent Then that is not the teacher's problem. That is not the student's problem. That is not the class's problem That is the parents problem Thank you Hello First I would like to start by addressing the board member that spread That cited a very harmful spread of misinformation There is nobody that is getting there's no children under 18 getting gender affirming care without their parents consent From therapists and doctors and a whole team of professional people I am sick and tired of this constant spread of misinformation and you're going to listen You're going to listen because you made the statement to start the I will listen, but let's go over what I said Jesse, I think you have time later. This is not your time. I didn't say
119Jesse, Jesse, you don't have time now. I'm sorry You don't have time denouncing the spread of misinformation and that's all I came to spread facts And the facts are that no child is getting harm hormones like an advil. It's just not happening. Okay My name is cole. I am from paterson. I'm 24 Okay, i'm reclaiming my time. Can I reclaim it? Thank you Let's just let them go for a second. Let's let them Okay, danielle, okay Okay Are we can you please? Can you some regulation here, please? All right. So All right. Here we go. The crowd. This is it. This is it to be quiet This is it. Goodbye Please continue speaking. Okay Actually, I want to I want to please can I reclaim my time? Please because there's a disruptance and I want
120everybody to hear this please Okay Please continue All right. Thank you So the reason why it matters that i'm from paterson and that i'm here is because every single district that makes this decision It spreads like wildfire in the state of new jersey and we saw how far that spread right? We saw how quickly that can spread So that's why it matters in every single district that that we're doing to to summarize the whole entire speech that I wrote I was outed when I was 14 years old in a catholic school It basically ruined my life The only part that saved my life was the fact that my mother stood up a catholic raised woman My mother stood up to these nuns who were making their child out to be a deviant of god and
121a disgrace I would like to reclaim my time, please because there there's no regulation happening here. Okay, please continue. All right Continue the only thing that saved my life was the fact that my catholic raised mother stood up to nuns and said I love my child Anyways, I don't care what you say or what you want to make my child out to be. I love them Anyways, gay straight trans non-binary whatever my child is They are safe and they are loved with me and I was lucky for that because my father was not the same Okay, I had no choice They gave me three warnings to stop being gay until they outed me forcibly to my parents This was 10 years ago in a catholic school If you want your child to grow up in
122a catholic school surrounded by shame Surrounded by conditional love I implore you to make the same sacrifices my parents made to afford a 15k a year tuition To grow up with actual groomers and pedophiles two parent two teachers that went to parama's catholic Where I went after I was kicked out of the first school were convicted for raping children My friends that were in the school. I just want to make that apparent. Okay That nobody is turning your child trans No, no children can get hrt without the parental consent or therapist consent and doctor's consent. Thank you Okay Um one thing real quick. Mr. Tissetti you will have time Back when we get to our agenda. So just Hold it in for now Take your notes, please continue My name is howard. I'm from manalekan
123township I'm happy to say that i'm a proud parent of three children who have gone through the manalepin school system What is being proposed? The proposed changes to the manalepin's current transgender policy 57 56 would require would require That the district notify a student's parent guardian of the student's change in gender identity or expression This proposed policy change change violates the district's own non-discrimination clause As in violation of the new jersey law against discrimination Which states it is unlawful for schools to subject people to different treatment based upon sexual orientation and gender identity or expression Additionally, this policy may also violate the student's right to privacy according to the aclu Without full and voluntary consent of the student It is against the law to disclose a student's sexual orientation or gender identity Even to a
124student's parents or other school administrators Transgender students are also protected From students under title nine Why are the proposed changes a problem for students? Not all transgender students are in safe environments at home School might be the only place where they can be themselves without fear of rejection or abuse Transgender and gender diverse students have a higher chance of suicides depression and substance abuse This change in policy will cause harm to some transgender youth The proposed policy changes Um, the board of education is attempting to pass is not intended to support parental rights This policy change is intended to harm transgender And gender diverse youth policy changes like this are discriminatory targeting one specific group Of students it is an anti transgender policy The parents of cisgender students are not notified if they use a
125different name than their parents gave them Or if they dress in a certain way or if they date somebody Yet this policy would disclose a student's change in gender identity Or expression without knowing the student Whether they would be safe at home When their parent or guardian is informed Approving this discriminatory Thank you Hello My name is finn and I am 17 years old and for Where are you from, please? I'm from manalapan. Thank you born and raised. Thank you And for 17 years, I have been transgender This is my home This is the county that I was born in. This is the very school that I went to And I transitioned in this county Yes, I am what everyone is so afraid of My credentials are that i'm a minor I transitioned when I
126was a minor. I went to the school. I went to the middle school and I'm here today because I decided to skip studying for my final exams because One very kind queer person behind me said that's what we do My family chose new jersey specifically for the closeness to the beach our family and the fact that They are top three in the nation's schools They also decided to live here because we are accepting and tolerant I like to hope That that is what you will decide today When I came out to my parents, it wasn't easy despite having loving parents I went through a long battle to get where I am now But I had a choice I got to choose when where and how my parents found out I got to control my story
127I got to mentally and physically prepare myself for what might come and That should not be a privilege Every single person here has the absolute right to tell their parents When and how they choose I am lucky because What about the unlucky ones? Those people that live in fear that god forbid their parents might found out find out I don't have to describe the horrors to you of what could happen. You see it on the news I Can stand loud and proud about my transness and go home and still know that my parents love me and accept me What about everybody else here? I've Seen thousands of stories of people coming up here and a few people in our very own county Do you want to believe that that happens here? No, but it does
128Let me tell you plain and clear that this bill is eliminating safe spaces for trans minors We look to the news and we see people saying horrific things about us Telling us that our lives must be eradicated from public life entirely telling us that we're a product of grooming Then we look to our legislators and we see hundreds of anti-lgbt Bills in this country that limit our access to health care and dictate what we can do and where Then we look to our families and you already know how that might go We look to our schools and for many places these institutions are our safe havens. So please keep them that way Thank you Good evening. My name is claire lacada. I'm a proud resident of manalapin and i'm here to speak on this issue
129Thank you superintendent Thank you president graham vice president cain and all other members of the board of education for letting me speak tonight My name is claire. I'm non-binary and I use they them pronouns I was raised through the murrah school district In fact being in the first class year at whimrock brook to attend all five consecutive years from first to fifth grade And I am against the passage of the amendments for the second reading of policy 57 56 According to a 2021 study performed by dr. Maisha price of the trevor project Trans youth who reported acceptance from school professionals had 33 percent lower odds of committing suicide Even just having acceptance from their classmates lowers the odds by 42 percent Growing up. I was terrified to come out to my friends and especially my
130teachers and one of my biggest regrets Is that I didn't have the confidence too sooner But having teachers to confide in eventually made me feel amazing And with policy 57 56 you are taking that moment away from potentially hundreds of students According to urologist marise garcia director of the cedars-senai transgender surgery and health program The mean age of children that will have their first experience with gender dysphoria is between four and seven years old Kids know if they're trans and this policy proves that you know that fact Outing these kids their parents is harmful because you could be putting the child in a very dangerous situation My parents professional for professions focus on treating people fairly in the eyes of the law and helping them as much as possible And when I finally came out
131to them It took them a couple years to wrap around that fact This policy does so much good It gives children access to bathrooms locker rooms and sports teams that they align with I attend emory university down in atlanta georgia Where hrt has been stripped from minors and teachers are discouraged from discussing anything queer related with their students If you want to show that you really care that you want to live up to the words of governor murphy And the board of education of the state of new jersey Don't immediately tell parents or guardians unless you are a hundred percent sure that doing so doesn't put them in danger Parents want what's best for their kids But they're not perfect and just giving them the ability to override the opportunities that these children need Is
132setting your setting yourself up for disaster trans rights or human rights and thank you for your time Lisa len manalapan resident for 37 years and I had three children that were raised through this system I'm going to be reading a letter of public testimony of christopher len Thank you members of the board and guests for the public and for being here this evening Today I want to add my voice to this conversation though. I am far away I am a former student of the manalapan english town school district and I am a transgender In my years since leaving mems I went on to get a graduate degree in ethics spent five years working in civil rights administration in higher education And currently oversee a human resources programs at a large local government organization When I
133heard the news from my mom about this proposed policy, I was disappointed We are seeing policies like this pop up all over the country especially targeting youth and attempting to inhibit Transgenet targeting transgender youth and inhibiting their agency their voice and even their existence Looking back I knew from a very young age that I was trans but I did not have the luxury or language of representation To guide my journey like many kids experience even today. It can be lonely and that loneliness causes pain While it's very important to support trans and nine non-binary kids and their families It is not likely that a policy such as this which emphasizes disclosure from school to parents will contribute to that support There is an unwritten message to students embedded in this policy That they are better
134off repressing who they really are so that they do not find themselves in a series of events and situations that this policy initiates In the 1990s before The americans with disabilities law was passed this movement for justice was led with the motto Nothing about us without us So I have to ask who from the transgender or even the queer community has helped to write this policy How many of them were consulted on the creation of this policy? And who is here tonight representing these communities that are supporting this policy? If the answer to either of these is no or none or I don't know then how can you in good faith Propose this let alone approve a policy such as this We all have a responsibility to care for our most vulnerable that starts with
135listening to them I am asking you here tonight to please help ensure that our school state a place of learning support and growth for all Not just for some. Thank you. Thank you Uh Yes, i'm trying to make it as short and sweet as possible. I'm straight plain and simple your name and address, please brian Recently moved here to monella been been around the world twice two combat tours get that straight You're welcome. Now i'm gonna say this plain and simple My son is five years old. He wants a tattoo I can't say yes to that because it's permanent But he could go to the school nurse and say I want to be a girl and she could take him to get the shots Or whatever that's where I don't think is possible. It shouldn't
136be possible and it's true Address address the board please address the california this way and pretty soon They're gonna be doing it here because murphy is following california putting in something trying to make this the west coast east coast, california You don't believe me look it up. My son is five years old. Like the gentleman said he wanted to be a dinosaur. He was Lizard boy from gecko that show for halloween for three weeks. That's it. All right play time's over You're a boy. Let's go play baseball. Let's go play basketball dodgeball Kids need to keep their innocence plain and simple to the point All this grooming which they're doing by our government, which is now you you are being pushed by of something radical That needs to stop plain and simple I don't know
137where you guys are coming from but 10 years ago. This didn't exist This didn't exist. We are letting a percentage of our new jersey's population. This is 3.6 It's actually 1.4 percent of the population new jersey is causing this much ruckus teachers need to teach Not tell me how to raise my kid Plain and simple to do this I like I said, i've been around the world twice and we are now the laughing stock of the world And if you don't see that well start raising your hand in china because we're losing in every way possible And this is where it starts It starts off small where they think they're going to do this they think they're going to do that But you know what pretty soon? I'm the minority white straight catholic. I am
138not the minority anymore I am now the loud majority and you are guys are going to listen to me And i'm pretty sure there's more people behind me that believe the same way I do Thank you for your time. Enjoy your weekend Hello everybody. My name is uh, josh rakati. I'm an alpin resident 17 years old I'm born and raised here, but I go to colt stick high school for the magnet program loan public service And um, I don't really prepare that much. So I just want to speak my mind I'm gonna keep it short because I know that taking a while um So I think it's really good that we can have this because our whole country's built on this I mean pured in town halls house of burgesses It's like, you know fundamental
139democracy. That's what our country's built on Though I do think it's kind of shameful how much disruption we've been having on both sides Now I do appreciate that the board is pro queer community However, I don't really share in the same I guess idealism that many on the board have for all parents to be accepting I mean, i'm very happy my parents are accepting of all people. I'm a raised catholic I was taught to love and understand and accept. I wasn't taught to hate But not all parents are like that I have many friends who aren't even gay by the way who have been told as straight people That if they were to come out as gay or trans they would be removed from their house I know people who feel they are going to
140be abused and be in some actually have been so So I don't think that we can always assume that parents are going to treat their kids right Just like we shouldn't assume our parents are going to treat everybody wrong as well I don't think it's right for kids to be forcibly told outed to their parents Unless they feel absolutely sure that the parents are going to accept them or at the very least not pose any harm to them Now I do want to go back to my point about being catholic. I'm catholic. I go to st. Thomas more I went to ccd for I guess until eighth grade when I got my confirmation St. Lawrence was my confirmation name And I was taught to love accept and understand In the bible, that's what I was
141taught. That's what jesus said. I wasn't taught to hate anybody. That's the main message. I took away So, I mean I don't see any verse in the bible saying that trans people are wicked and going to hell I'm not even trans myself, but I don't agree with that either um That's the main thing with the bible. We're supposed to love and understand not spread all this hatred and vitriol No, I do remember one council. Well, not councilman, uh board member. Sorry he did mention how nurses are able to transcribe advil Mulch and that kind of stuff to kids and have to tell the parents and I can understand where they would be coming from if nurses were also Able to put kids through hormone therapy and stuff. However, they're not you need the parental consent
142And you know, it's not happening Kids can go talk to them, but they're not gonna be put on any kind of medication for it I just don't believe it's right to forcibly tell parents If their kids don't feel safe and uh Yeah, that's pretty much all I gotta say Uh, thank you for letting us speak. Thank you for Like letting me speak everyone speak. I think it's good that we have this dialogue and uh, i'm very tired So i'm going to go home and shower and sleep. How's it going? Mike Delaccio, Menalpan, New Jersey, Menalpan So I came to Menalpan because of the school system. The public school system was amazing Wanted the kids to learn English, math, science, not anyone's political agenda What they think as far as politics what you're assigned uh agenda
143Agenda is It was strictly for the school education I've been lectured, we've all been lectured tonight about personal issues about isolated incidences And spoken to like we're the problem I know the people in this community We're not the problem We have good kids. They're innocent and we don't teach them hatred. None of us do So all we ask is not to create a problem that doesn't exist. That's all we're saying Hello, my name is Gwen Perry. I'm coming from West Windsor Um, I am a high school teacher I'm a trans woman and I'm a proud proud mother of two children um In my work as a high school teacher, I work a lot with trans youth I'd like to kind of center their experiences as I talk tonight um I think they have sensed quite
144correctly that they are under special scrutiny I think the fact that this meeting is attended the way that it is can attest to that the fact that we have this level Of friction around this policy can attest to that um Trans youth know that we are looking at them They know and they are afraid at times and I don't think they're wrong to feel that way um And so I guess what i'll follow that up with is the ones that I speak to some of them are hiding their identity from their parents And they're doing it for a reason when kids have to hide something that important about themselves. It's not because they want to Um kids in my experience do not want to hide things from their parents They want to share all that
145they are with their parents. They want to feel that love they want to feel that community um They would rather not use me as a mentor. They would rather use their parents I'll be honest with you And so if they choose not to do that We have to trust that there is a good reason for them to do so that they have legitimate concerns legitimate fears um the other thing i'll say about my experience with them is that In my experience and I think this contradicts some of what we've heard earlier Trans kids are not necessarily in danger trans kids who find community are thriving They are doing well. They are happy. They are surrounded by people who love them and care for them and like anybody else in that situation They're okay um, so
146I think what i'm most concerned about with this policy is If a child feels that they cannot find community at home and I would believe them if that's how they feel This policy will prevent them from usefully finding community at school And we do know that children who don't find community trans or otherwise are in danger Those are the ones we worry about those are the suicide risks. Those are the depression risks. Those are the anxiety risks Those are the kids failing out of school So if we want to prevent all that we need to make sure that trans children all children really but trans children Especially tonight have a way to access that community that sense of community Um, I want to finish by talking about my five-year-old actually Um The only time my
147five-year-old hides something from me at this point and he is young yet He's my oldest so I don't know what happens past this age But the only time my five-year-old hides something from me is when he thinks he's in trouble Um, you know, have you brushed your teeth tonight? Okay, suddenly the most talkative kid on the planet is not talking to me because he knows that i'm going to come for him if he hasn't brushed his teeth and so I guess my Sense is and what i'd say to all the other parents in the room is if your kid is quiet about an issue It is probably because they're afraid that they're in trouble it's probably because they're afraid to talk Um, that's not that's not necessarily your problem kids are afraid for all kinds
148of reasons Like I said trans kids are afraid because of what's out there Um, but let's see what we can do to show that we love these kids not that we want to control them Hello, my name is jen. I've lived in manalap in my whole life I also graduated from manalap in high school in 2017 and i'm here to speak out against this policy My identity and sexual orientation is none of your business and completely irrelevant to the point I'm going to make what you should know is that I have a bachelor's in social work and a philosophy minor specializing in ethics and logic I work at a private practice which upholds policies to protect minors who are in danger Of their families and home situations I have volunteered my time to social justice
149for most of my young years at pride events protests and even as a phone operator For the trevor project which is an organization dedicated to preventing suicide amongst trans and lgbtq youth I am on the front lines Most of the people in this room who want this policy in place have no idea of the impact it may have on our children But I know because I see it every day We are all here for the same reason for the children and for our students This has nothing to do with political agenda agenda or religious opinions. This is about the safety of children Look at the facts. I'm not here to educate you on the complexities of gender and sexual orientation People are afraid of what they don't can't and refuse to understand School is about
150learning and teaching our kids to have an open mind to empower them to make decisions for themselves and on their own terms As a social worker and future mental health care worker. I am shocked and appalled that this policy is even being spoken about We are here to protect our children first and foremost I hope I never have to pick up the phone and hear one of the kids in this school system contemplating suicide Thank you Good evening. Uh mike decamp man alpyn strapped for drive so um I just had a couple ideas and thoughts for the group. So first, thank you and I'm opposed to the policy and I think that we should reconsider or at least delay the vote to allow for more Discussion with members of the community or other licensed professionals
151who have a background that this might affect specifically Also, I think it's there is a bit of a trend at least We do not appear to have a large community at this age for the in the scope of this policy we have Pre-k through five which is four to ten year olds So I don't know what the volume or the frequency that we have students looking to do these accommodations That warrant this sort of change to the policy. I think that might be an indication if you do see an uptick Maybe you want to revise it. Otherwise Why are we making the revisions to it in the first place? Second it does in some of the text look like it might cause discrimination which we know could cause legal issues and we already have a
152finite budget And why would we want to have that burden and any regulatory or compliance sort of issues? So to sum up I think it's a good idea to maybe pause on the vote look to reassess the the criticality of this sort of issue to the community And understand and assess the risks that it that it brings From a financial and regulatory perspective. Thank you for your time Hi, i'm janet lewis. I live in manalapin and I am a retired manalapin English town regional school district teacher and I can tell you in all my years of teaching Students have been discussing their sexual orientation with counselors and social workers without their parents knowledge And the world continued to spin on its axis and the stars did not fall from the sky I know all of
153your first concern is for the students and I am concerned that if you take that Confidentiality away from those children it will do them more harm than good And please please do not change it and allow these children to speak to those they feel they are more mostly safe To discuss something that they are concerned about. Thanks a lot and I see you guys Phyllis camera colt's neck new jersey. I am an employee of the district but here tonight speaking as a parent to four children I want to thank the board of education for making strides in the right direction by considering changes to policy 5 6 5 7 I want to express my support for those changes with the addition of making a k through 8 There should never be a policy that deliberately
154keeps parents uninformed about the well-being of their children particularly Particularly in the case of a child experiencing gender dysphoria Which is included in the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders dsm 5 published by the american psychiatric association It is imperative and potentially life-saving for parents to be involved and informed and an active part of the homeschool connection A k to a child who believes in the tooth fairy santa claus the easter bunny Does not have the emotional or intellectual maturity to decide what their parents should and should not know When it comes to their well-being So thank you board for this family-centered approach where parents are involved The same way parents are involved in genesis the same way parents are involved in parent-teacher conferences The same way parents are involved in their child's school
155athletics music drama, etc Remember no one loves or cares for a child more than a parent No teacher no school counselor. No school. No government This updated policy is a family-centered approach highlighting parental rights Please vote. Yes to this common sense policy that protects families and ensures the safety of all school children Thank you Hi, i'm michelle. I'm an alpin um as I respect everyone's opinion tonight, I um Just was a question if we can obviously have the whole town the whole state the whole country come But is there a way to do justman alpin just the people in the school district going not going forward I know you're gonna say no, but okay fine Just thought I'd ask And i've had multiple parents ask me and I have to be the one to ask
156If my child or their child ever sits and does not stand for the flag Can you please let us know? In school k-3 because if this is going to pass or not pass We would like to know that because there was multiple people here that did not stand And the parents were asking me and I said, all right, i'll just ask that question. Thank you. Good evening uh The one thing I do want to say is Beware of false prophets that come to you in sheep's clothing and are ravages ravages wolves Uh people quoted the bible some people misquoted the bible That's for sure jesus did come to spread the gospel in the good news And he did leave you one commandment before he left and that is love thy neighbor love everyone The parents
157of manalapin are not against what your personal gender sexual orientation is Some of the members from the lgtbq community that came and spoke they left they didn't even stay for the rest So they came here out of their district. Yes, I said some I said some Okay, some I'm not trying to argue with you Um, they came spoke their piece. They weren't even part of the manalapin district They don't have children in the manalapin district district. I am a parent. I have two children Who potentially could come to the manalapin district? now The lgtb community is about love yet. There was a fight that broke out. Where's the love? so You think we're not showing you love yet. You guys don't show us love If we come here to love one another why are we
158arguing with each other? You say your piece and you leave don't argue with the people who want to stand with this bill because honestly as a parent if my kid Wants to be whatever he wants to be I would like to know so I can make the appropriate measures so I can find the appropriate medical Thank you, uh guidance Not the school district not the government again, I don't co-parent with the government God said in the bible jeremiah 1 5 that he formed you in the womb So god knows who these children are for each individual parent God does not make any mistakes and those that think that the one percent of parents who? Unfortunately mistreat their children shame on you parents because you're supposed to love your children regardless of their decisions love one
159another for the people that spoke out that were abused that were Bullied in school. I'm really sorry you guys went through that we are in 2023 Shame on anybody who does bully and does not like you based on your gender preferences. That's all i'm gonna say Thank you for your time Kelly lucas manalapan. I'm not saying my address because it's clear tonight that that doesn't really matter I'd like to acknowledge that All of you were voted in here by your community about half of us Live in your community And that half would like to see the policy that you've put in place be voted on tonight The other half took a bus here They were driven in from howl they don't have kids to tuck into bed tonight Well, we all still have to go
160home and wake up get our kids ready for school tomorrow We are asking you because we voted for all of you not them To vote what you've already decided There's no reason that we have to sit here and listen to things from people that don't live here that didn't vote for you They can go to their town and they can make these policies how they want them in their town But the majority of parents that spoke to them. I'm sorry not parents the majority people that spoke tonight I can count on one hand how many of them actually lived here And it's often said that the loudest boos come from the cheapest seats I'd also like to acknowledge that we watched this Hibb presentation tonight of what would be done for bullying and things like
161that Dr. Santoro, you said that in an investigation parents would have to be involved So my question is when are we deciding when parents can be involved and when they can't be involved? if my child Bullies somebody I can bet you're gonna call me So now we're saying We're not going to tell we're not going to out children because they might be scared of their parents So if my kid bullies someone and comes to their principal and says I bullied someone but i'm scared my parents gonna beat me. Are you not gonna call me? When are parents allowed to be parents? We went through this with covid we weren't allowed to be parents during covid And now we've had a pretty much successful year and we're backtracking We're again taking parents rights away because we've
162decided that parents no longer know how to be parents Let's let the community who voted for you stand up right now because a lot of them don't want to talk They're not as vocal as the other half of the room But if you want this policy to be changed, could you at least stand up? You don't have to speak Stand up self and stand up for your children Hi heather panipinto from manalapin. I've lived here my whole life Um, so children aged 4 to 14 are still growing and developing at an incredibly rapid rate To allow them to secretly live at an alternate alternate reality and take actions or even engage in conversations towards life altering decisions Without knowledge of their parents is absurd with the large increase in suicide and depression amongst youth It
163seems criminal that schools would keep this critical mental health information from their parents and caregivers To think that teachers administrators would know better to care for the child than their parents is overstepping a huge line That is not your call to make and my children do not belong to you Keeping secrets with other adults is not a practice we are in in our household School is a place to learn and make friends and the disturbing trend of discussing sexuality at every avenue with children is wholly inappropriate Making parents the bad guy in this situation is extremely confusing to me There seems to be an inherent bias against parents as not being understanding caring and compassionate I'm hearing lots of generalizations about what parents of an elephant believe and it seems that you believe us to
164be monsters without Knowing us whatsoever I'm not naive to know that not everyone gets to grow up in a supportive and loving environment and my mom heart is truly Sorry for that However creating a policy that affects everyone under a blanket procedure of secrecy will not solve this issue nor help the children To not even give parents the opportunity to know this information about their child is robbing them of a chance to connect and help their child Thank you for keeping the parents informed and involved Hello, my name is maya. I am a resident of manalphin. I live in knob hill for anybody wondering Um, I just want to make it clear here Um, I think things have maybe gotten muddled during all of these speeches that nobody is advocating that the school should move
165forward In providing hrt to children. Uh, nobody is advocating that these children are receiving gender affirming care through the school at all We are simply making clear that the the board The schools and any faculty that would be implementing this policy does not have the tool to Decide whether or not this child's parents will be accepting of this child and they the the board cannot decide Whether or not these parents will you know, make sure that there's a safe environment for their children People before me have mentioned that they have been beaten by their parents because they have been outed by their school They have been rejected by their family. They've been thrown out something that I want to point out is something called conversion therapy I don't know if we're familiar. It's also known
166as sexual orientation or gender identity change efforts It's a practice grounded in the belief that being lgbtq is abnormal. It's intended to change the sexual orientation gender Or gender expression of the lgbtq person conversion therapy is practiced by licensed professionals in the context of providing health care and by clergy or other spiritual advisors in the context of religious practice Efforts to change someone's sexual orientation or gender identity are associated with poor mental health, including increasing rates of suicidality Um 689,000 lgbtq adults in the u.s Have received conversion therapy including about 350 lgbtq adults who were subjected to the practice as adolescents an estimated 57,000 Youth across america will receive conversion therapy from religious or spiritual advisors before they reach the age of 18 Again, I want to stress that situations like these that you would
167be putting the child into if you are outing them Um what again increased rates of suicidality, okay I'm not trying to say that you're responsible here if that child were to do something for themselves But I am saying that you would play a role in that action again There is no way for the board or members of faculty who are implementing this policy to know whether or not the home is safe For the child. Um, if the child is scared, I don't know why we're laughing at that. Like that's some some funny thing But if the child is scared of the parent and scared of being beaten scared of being thrown out of their home Scared of being subjected to conversion therapy I don't know why we have such a problem with listening to them
168and acknowledging that again Not encouraging the school to move forward with hrt move forward with surgeries. All we're asking for is a simple name change Maybe pronouns again Maybe a switch with the bathrooms Mr. Jesse, I know people have been mentioning you a lot, but it is unfortunate you did come up here With fear-mongering Again, want to make it clear nurses are not providing Hrt to students. They are not giving shots or encouraging students to get bottom surgery or top surgery It's false. Thank you for your time Hello Giuseppe grillo asbury park, new jersey um, I grew up in I grew up in freehold and manalapin long enough to remember the manalapin mall and riding my bike over at steinbachs. So um I just wanted to first of all, I believe that every person here
169cares about their kids I have two nieces that are in this school district that are preparing one of them was preparing to to Do eighth grade graduation and can't be here tonight and I have two kids of my own um I've always thought of manalapin as a welcoming inclusive place Um, it's a place that I I grew up with and had many friends Um, and I believe that these parents and the folks that came here from out of town do care about these kids Um, I want to remind the people that come up here That out-of-towners Uh have the right to be here The reason why is because manalapin school district receives over 800. I'm sorry 8 million 154 dollars Uh in state aid that comes from taxpayers that live in paterson that live in
170asbury park That live in new brunswick that are here from howell These are all our taxpayer dollars. So I just want to make it very clear That we have a right to be here because these are our taxpayer dollars and we have a right to say How we feel it should be spent um, and if not and and and if not May we have those taxpayer dollars back Thank you It's like washington. We're just going to keep coming up if we're going to have all night Um jarrod lamarsh three joseph street an actual resident of manalapin Um, you know my job as a parent is to love my kids and support them no matter what and we and my wife And I will do that But i'm not their friend. I'm their parent Um, this
171is about my god-given right To know what's going on in my child's life I listened to these arguments tonight against this but at the end of the day Not one of these these folks are going to sit here and financially help me raise my children If knowledge is power, how can I properly support my children if I don't know what's going on in their lives? My child cannot go on a trip in this school district without my permission My child cannot have their picture taken In this school district without my permission My wife and I we made conscious decisions to bring children into this world And we have a responsibility to care for them until they're deemed old enough by this government To care for themselves and that is 18 years of age There's all
172this talk about outing kids to their parents and the risk of turning them over to abusive households. Well, guess what? The teachers provide grades and I know that if children go home with bad grades They might have some punishment and consequences. So maybe we should stop giving out grades to kids as well I'm gonna i'm gonna say i'm gonna repeat callie because we obviously have the same thought but you know, dr Santoro, you gave a nice little workshop speech on hib And you know what my child maybe had an incident and I got contacted by the school So it can't be right on one hand and not on the other You know I keep hearing these stories about how much work it took for somebody's parent to accept them Or how long it took them
173to accept their kids Well, maybe if they knew maybe if they understood maybe if the school did a better job of educating the parents Maybe they would have understood If you shut parents out Wouldn't you only be causing more of a delay and friction in those households? I'm a parent. God gave me that blessing This is school board. You must preserve my right to parent my children Thank you Hello, i'm jay fransky 37 birmingham drive. I'm in alpyn Went to pinebrook elementary mems and graduated malp in high school in 2005 I've been a nurse for 12 years turned out pretty good from coming here. There's some things that aren't always amazing But looking around here, there is a lot of passion a lot of amazing people here All these parents really care about those kids
174their kids, but I did have friends growing up that Some of these parents weren't as involved and weren't as caring and you're all Incredible people that really treasure your kids and I don't think anyone here would do anything bad to their kids but that's not always the case and that's why With what everyone else has said there's nothing I can add but These people here are amazing But it's not always the case. It's not universal and this needs this bill needs to protect as wide A selection of people as possible Please consider that when you vote tonight. Thank you Good evening mark santoro of nalp in new jersey. Mr. President board I thank you all for giving up your time tonight and to touch on a point. Mr President you made earlier tonight if anyone
175really does care about the children, I expect to see every single one of you when the Finances come up, right? That's what we're talking about So if you really care about the kids both sides of these aisles, you all better be here Get on your bus from paddison and come down. That's number one Just just right here. Go here. Please the board just the board. I'm talking here right here. Thank you secondly Love is love, right? We hear it all day long. Love is love I think so much wearing a t-shirt that says love is love There is no love Greater than a parent i'm talking to the board that a parent can have for their child There is no love greater than a parent can have for their child and I will be damned
176if I sit here and I let Anything come between the love I have for my children. Okay, that's number two There should be no such secrets kept from a parent from every testimony that i've heard from all of the trans community People who are all great people and for the things that happen to the bed To the to the trans people that had bad situations in their life. I'm truly sorry. I got none against them I'm truly sorry that you guys went through that. However I expect as a parent to be kept in the loop and notified the same way I'm notified if my kid is bullied or being bullied the same way I'm notified if he falls slips and hits his toe on a step in the school the same way I'm notified if
177he gets into a fight and so on and so forth if this is going to be the biggest decision in any child's life Then why would anyone want to come between that and the people who brought them into this world? Why i'm sorry Why? Would no one want the parents to know and if there's an issue that the of the parents not being the right household for that child There's services in the state that can protect the children if there's abuse if there's neglect if there's many other things like that So to leave the parent out and exclude the parent from something so Large in the child's life as this It's it's just not morally correct. It's not correct for the child to not involve the parent It's not correct for the parent to be
178unparented and taking the happy things and yeah They can be happy things if a child comes out that way to exclude the parent. You're making me a bad parent So to the board I trust and support the change I hope you vote in the favor of all the parents that love their children tonight. Thank you Hi, everyone, my name is shawnee fitch and I live in manalapan. I've been in manalapan since 2018 I have three children. You will have them all next year This year has been one of the hardest years for me with three children in three different schools With all of the emails that you send with all of the fun activities that you guys have. It's great. It's wonderful That's why we came here When 2020 happened and my son was getting
179an iep during his kindergarten year Which as a family we got robbed of as our first kid in this district Which we came here for and bought a house in for this school district I removed my child. I removed all three of my children from school because of the iep and mask situation I found an alternative school With a teacher that came out of manalapan because she did not like the way That the school was running the school institutions these days in current time a parent Is the number one authority until that child is no legally a child So I ask all parents and board members to go home and to just think about your own childhood Think about how you wanted wanted to raise your kids Did you do what you wanted to do
180and for the parents that are back here that have kids? Ease your communication line open. I've had issues with my nine-year-old. I've had issues with my six-year-old in the elc and At lafayette mills I am ready to pull my children any second because you don't get to parent my children You get to help them you get to inspire them. You should keep them safe So I definitely don't agree with a non-transparency policy I also don't agree with allowing males into female bathrooms or females into male bathrooms I know that we are in a high voltage high energy situation in america, which I was born in never left Didn't want to Now i'm reconsidering But I say that in a very satire and joking and very upsetting way I went to the rocksberry Meeting last month.
181I drove the hour and a half I watched what happened unfold in real time so I could hear and see what was really going on to see what was truly Going on I'm a 500 hour Level yoga teacher Over easter. I got baptized january 30th 2022 my brother passed away Tragic accident. Do you want to know how old he was? He was 18 Our sister between us the three of us We have three different fathers and our little our sister his bigger sister my younger sister the 27. She's very gay That's fine. That's cool. That's great But when a school district wants to come between the parents and the child You're gonna have a lot of parents that have issues with that Thank you for your time Hello, my name is lexie. Weiss. I live
182in eaton town I'm not from here And I am not originally from new jersey. I moved here I want to address the board But mostly I want to address The future gay and trans grandchildren and great-grandchildren of the board I hope that you survive this Because the wrong decision here tonight means that a lot of kids won't Maybe no parents in this room would hurt their kid. I sure hope not But there are parents that will and you know that for a fact And the fact that you are willing to risk those children You talk about having children and you're ready to risk someone else's for no reason If your kid doesn't come out to you, you're not safe to come out to you So spend your time making yourself safe for your children. They
183deserve it They deserve to live They deserve to be trans adults Thank you listen guys Truly, we are a great community. I'm sorry. I'm sorry name. Well, I mean, I know who you are, but yes you do Leontina manalapan We are a great community. We love our children and our families are the most accepting Accepting people let's go back to faith. Let's go back to love The ones of the people that shared their stories and went through, you know some hard times I truly just wanted to give them a hug. I really feel bad for what they've gone through But that's their story each of our children deserve their own story Okay, the ones wearing their flags go for it You should be wearing them proudly and guess why you can do this because of
184the people who fought for all of your freedoms You know, we have a flag too and it's called the american flag that flag That flag stands for rights parent parental rights children's rights everyone's rights Our children need a voice and the only voice that is valid is their parents If my child is depressed or suicidal it is my job to know About it and help them through their journey if you keep this information for me And something happens to my child. I will literally hold each and one of each and every one of you responsible I think it's completely absurd that the parents are not being notified about these incidents and that we need to even Have this discussion about a vote your vote. We're voting to get my god-given right to me like honestly
185Again, nothing. No one else has said before but i'm notified when my kid is sick when they're absent when they're late When they're a distraction in class or anytime there's a problem with the school whenever there's a fire drill. I'm notified whenever there's no air conditioning I won't i'm notified We need the school system to go back to focus on teaching children math english science history I truly implore you to vote in favor of informing the parents regarding This example, let's lead by example and have other schools follow suit Thank you Okay. Oh Yes, and then one more speaker after that and then public comments are closed It's from monalapin. I have a question for the board attorney Does does this rule violate the hippo laws? I don't know. I'm not an attorney. The board
186norwich council is answering questions at this time What else is new from an attorney? Thank you Good evening. My name is daniel francisco. I'm a councilman in english town presumptive mayor for next year Resident here for my whole life grew up on gordon's corner. I went to monalapin english town regional schools Uh know a lot of people that work in this district My son was very very very briefly in this district see a lot of familiar faces around here today I just want to start on the outright by just thanking. Mr. Tassetti for his nuanced thoughtful comments I appreciate appreciate your words earlier jesse I just uh, i'm gonna keep it very brief I don't have a prepared statement or any sort of grandstanding but I do do find the dynamic here very very funny
187to me Because I have a very different outlook than a lot of people here and I was actually inspired by that mother that just spoke right now To come up here and talk Everyone here tomorrow Is presumably going to go home get together with their families with their kids this weekend and figure out a place to eat They're going to make a decision on what type of food they want to eat whether they're vegan whether they eat meat Whether they want pizza whether they want chinese they're going to buy clothes clothes that may be revealing not revealing appropriate conservative They're going to buy insurance for their family They're going to make policy decisions about their finances And none of those will be done at the consultation of a government monopoly not one But in this
188room, you have two impassioned sides My opinion about it is irrelevant. If you want to know what I think you can find me after and i'll gladly chat with anybody but When I saw issues with my son going on particularly here at this district, it was very very simple I just removed him from your control. That was it. I'm not here to have a Consultative discussion with people who don't have my interests in mind about what is best for my son I'm certainly not going to fight with a community of people and i'm not pointing at anyone in particular Who aren't my son's parents about what's best for him? And that's the part I don't understand if you really want control over your kid's future It's not here It's in yourself. Just remove your kid
189Get them out of the control of the government So it's very simple I don't have anything to ask of you I frankly don't really care about the vote because My son's not part of this district But I feel it was important to let everybody know that they're in control of their own family and their children's destiny at all times Thank you This will be the last speaker. I wasn't going to speak and it probably will make no sense because they're all good But um, I wanted to say thank you for everything name. Oh, i'm penny. Thank you lambandella Wemarock, oh, no manalaban. Thank you. I'm rock. Um, I wanted to say thank you for all that you do. I appreciate it I I really do. I love my school I love that my son literally
190does not know what race is he doesn't know if somebody's indian black He does he's 10 fourth grade does not know and I think it's beautiful I um, I I feel horrible for everyone If they're still here who's had hard times, but a lot of people I included have had hard times My Father came over here when he was one from russia My grandfather was jewish and they came here because they were afraid for their lives and they came here because America is free and with that freedom you have the freedom of choice, but when you start taking parents freedoms away from their From their own kids that they're nourishing like my son Sticks up for other kids because I tell him to I teach him that thing Parents tell me that their kid was
191playing by themselves and they had no friends, but I teach my son I have that control so I get these calls. Oh your son was so good to my daughter my son But if you take that stuff away from me, then i'm not a parent. I'm a good parent and most of us are And I had a horrible childhood and I helped other people who also had horrible childhoods But that's because we're all good people and we should all trust the parents a little bit more I make no sense, but um I I think to take a parents right away from anything is is not valuable because mental illness is rampant in this world and if he's not if he feels he identifies as Something or anything I want to be able to pay for
192the best of everything to find him groups that he can be included in Like I I If if my son is suffering and alone I need to find him like that piece that community and to take that right away from me is horrible because Mental illness is real and everybody knows that but I need to be able to help my own son and That's important, but thank you. I really appreciate it. You guys are great. Thank you Thank you Okay, uh public, excuse me public comment is now closed We are going to move into our agenda and we're going to try to get through this thing here pretty quickly. So Does the board Have any questions for the superintendent on e1 or e2? E1 or e2 any questions? We're not voting on this item. It's
193just for the information Any questions you want e2? Okay, seeing none Yes, no Oh, no. Okay. Great. All right. I'm going to skip to uh Section g business items g1 through g9. Can I get a motion to second, please? David cain and ryan green Any questions david? No, thanks ryan any other board members on g1 through g9, please Okay, kevin, thank you. Mr. Bruno. Oh, i'm so i'm sorry g no g1 G1 through g13. Yes. Yeah, i'm sorry. I my computer g1 through g13 does anybody have a question right the business section No questions, okay, we're gonna get back to f. Don't worry. It's there. It's not going anywhere We're gonna get back to f. I want to get through the agenda first and get reorganizing the agenda a little bit That's we need to
194make sure I get the business items in for ronnie. That's one g and i'm a yes g1 Go kevin. Mr. Ferber We'll catch him on the way back Mr. Grain. Yes. Mr. Green. Yes. Mr. Cain. Yes. Mrs. Parisi. Yes. Mrs. Picaro. Yes. Mr. Tosetti. Yes Mr. Ergo, yes motion carried Okay, uh h1 through h2 curriculum motion and second, please Christine and david cain Any questions? No questions. Okay, kevin. Oh, sorry anybody On h1 through h2. No kevin. Thank you. Uh, mr Mr. Graham. Yes Mr. Green. Yes Mr. Cain. Yes, mrs. Parisi. Yes Mrs. Picaro. Yes Mr. Tosetti. Yes Mr. Ergo. Yes Mr. Bruno. Yes motion carried, okay I2 through I 23 Thank you. I2 through I33 motion second dotty and jesse any questions dotty now just want to uh Wish barbara mazza happy and healthy
195retirement and thank her for her many years of service And jesse's ditto And i'm gonna second dotty sentiments, please Jesse you good I just said I uh echo dotty sentiments. Great. Thank you. Anybody else section i Okay, kevin. Thank you Mr. Graham Yes Mr. Green. Yes Mr. Cain. Yes Mrs. Parisi. Yes Mrs. Picaro. Yes Mr. Tosetti. Yep Mr. Ergo Yes Okay. Um, wait, we're not done. Mr. Bruno. I'm gonna stay in on item Number 11. I'm sorry. No. Yeah number 11 item t3 I am a yes on all of this Thank you motion carried Since david's back in the room. Um, we're voting on personnel david. Do you want to vote on that or you want to just? Uh, what's which item? Um personnel item i-2 through i-33 Yeah Yes. Yes. Thank you Motion carried
196great All right. I am going to go back to administration section f one through f8 I need a motion and a second, please christine I need a second on f1 through f8, please dotty Christine any questions on f1 through f8? No questions dotty any questions on f1 through f8? No, sir Does anybody else on the board have a question on or a comment on f1 through f8? In regards to f8 i'd like to clarify some things that I said that were Misrepresented in the public comments one. I never said that nurses were giving hrt treatment I said for a nurse at our school to hand out a over-the-counter Medication advil or tylenol They had to notify a parent Hrt any regards to top surgery bottom surgery any of those things I did not say So,
197please I know that this is a time and people want to twist words and everything I even said at the very beginning. I will stand before a thousand of lies I know that is not a popular opinion to half of the audience I know that I said that in the beginning I find it very odd That if we tell parents we're putting them at risk But if we don't tell the parents Then the kids are at risk that way, too We're in a no-win situation, aren't we? So you have to do what you feel is right us as elected officials Have to do what's right When you point a finger at somebody you have three fingers pointing back at you I'm not afraid of the boogeyman the rainbow boogeyman, whatever it was called I'll have
198a discussion with anybody at any time anywhere about any topic I'm used to lies from robin She put it out there with me and mr. Ferber. She used us by name as bringing lawsuits and our taxes being raised Taxes are capped at 2.2 percent if we need to go over that Maybe you guys should have attended our budgetary meeting when we discuss that at nauseam In regards to taxpayers across the state We have lost funding to get redistributed or have we not heard of s or funds or s2 funds? Okay, so we have lost to supplement others I am totally okay with every single citizen in the state of new jersey coming to this meeting and saying what they want to say As the gentleman before said he's been around the world twice. I have
199seven combat deployments Seven And I will support and defend every one of your beliefs But when i'm an elected official and the constituents in my voting area Expressed to me their concern and their issue and their want I have to listen It doesn't matter if I say tomato you say tomato that sign is blue that sign is red It don't matter. There's blue red and gold on it. I guess that's like the second time I've referenced this talking here, too But that's how it is. It's not going to be as simple as put it here. Put it there. Whatever. These are very complicated issues Like I said, I am willing to discuss with anybody at any time But please accurately state what I said I said that I agreed with dr McNamara And that it
200is a difficult challenge And I feel that those kids that go through that therapy have the support of a community that will provide it for them So that it is successful Don't get it twisted I Support all of your beliefs. I said in my speech at the very beginning that I will continue To be a supporter of the lgbtq i plus community Those you don't know that I have members of those community in my family And when I spoke to him about this and he has been around the community for a long long time Back to the 80s and he had a hard time talking to his parents while he was a freshman at texas a&m university in the 80s When the aids epidemic ran through and he lost friends to the aids community in
201the in the lgbtq community because of the aids virus And I spoke with him and he said you have to continue being an ally. You have to do what's right for your situation You guys can judge me all you want to you can say the comments that you want to you can call me out on social media Listen, I am a person who voted as an abstention or a no I don't even recall for a citation to thank the teachers for covid I am not afraid of taking the unpopular stance But when you want to use my words, please use them accurately and correctly Which means that I did not say that the middle school nurses or our nurses at our district were Conducting hrt or giving hormones. I said that they need to contact
202The parent to give them an over-the-counter medication. It's not very difficult No, they got to sit here for three hours and badmouth me and twist my words I want it to be perfectly clear when this pops up on the patch when it's on App when i'm getting called out on social media by the lady who announces all the meetings Hey, I see those things I wanted to be known that I did not say that we're advocating to not have this not have that I am advocating for the simple thing like our constituents said up there He is giving the god-given right to be a parent And if we have to tell our parents when we had a fire drill when we've had a bad day When our kids did bad on a test when our
203kids did x when our kids did y When our kids did whatever whatever whatever then why not include them in this discussion? Maybe i'm Off balance as a parent who quality cares for my children But I would like to assume maybe that's wrong One of the things my dad taught me as a kid was never assumed because it makes a ass out of you and me We're all adults in here now. We understand that. I mean we've had public speakers say worse legs than what I just said If it's wrong of me to assume that and one kid gets hurt and one kid can it bothers me You might not believe it. But hey, that's fine. I don't judge you you can judge me. I don't give a damn Thank you, jesse. I'm not done.
204Okay, great I'm not done. You told me multiple times to wait. I would have my time to speak as long as I needed to Keep going Come on, man. What jesse keep talking rich Rich rich. Come on. Hey, I I would see jesse continue to speak Continue to speak rich has it under control quiet jesse keep so Like I said I did not say that the hormone treatment was being done by our nurses. I'm not the boogeyman I'm not afraid of the boogeyman. I'm not fear-mongering. You want to talk to me approach me and we'll have a conversation I've had everybody rattle off their educational backgrounds I have a master's degree in school counseling. I have a master's degree in human resources. I have a liberal arts degree It doesn't mean i'm smarter than you.
205It doesn't mean i'm dumber than you It means i'm a human being Who has a right to be respected? Has a right to be treated fairly And to communicate As miss marsala said earlier, there's only one way to win an argument And that's not to get in one well, it's too late I guess i'm already in one you guys are in one So let's just act like adults and you guys can talk to me However, you want to when it's done and we'll sit here i'll stand out front all night long and answer every one of your questions If you have to But please when I tell you something accurately portray what I said Anybody else on f1 through f8? david Yeah on f8. Um So, you know there's a lot of things said tonight
206and and you know, thank you for everyone who showed up tonight regardless of where you stand on on what we're discussing, um for being here, but there's a lot of misconceptions and a lot of Um misinformation I I hear being stated tonight about the policy that we're discussing first off This policy does not speak about or does not Address Someone's sexuality Okay, this is not about whether somebody what someone's sexual preferences Okay, nobody is being outed based on a teacher or a school staff member Recognizing that this person may be gay or they may Maybe going through a gender change the only time This comes into play the parental notification Is when a student has gone to a school staff member such as a guidance counselor a teacher a principal and has asked for accommodations
207Public that will be public accommodations related to their gender identity. They are outing themselves Right. They're announcing they're saying I now want to be called a different name I may now want to use a different bathroom than I used before Right. This is not just somebody simply recognizing or seeing them in the hallway and saying I think that person is Becoming something else. I'm going to call their parents That's not how this works Okay I think there's a lot of misconceptions about this policy and the changes that we're looking to make setting any kind of premise That would suggest to a student or a child That it's okay and they should be keeping anything from their parents is a very very dangerous place to go Right. That's going to be very hard to come back
208from And that's not that that's not what they come to school for. That's not where they come That's not what we want our teachers teaching them Do we put our teachers in a position that they should now have to lie to parents? When they need to have a conversation with them about that student That could relate to their gender What do you think happens in an hib investigation where the school now needs to address the parents Because their child was involved and may be a victim of an hib situation related to their gender And now they have to call the parents and talk to them about Their transgender girl a transgender boy, but the parents don't know about it Right. There's a big can of worms That gets opened up when you start hiding things
209And not a path we want to go down, okay And just the same I don't believe We want to put it on the school to have responsibility Should that student who's going through some kind of crisis? and knowingly Keep that information from their parents, you know Just because a child or a student doesn't go to their parents with everything that doesn't mean it's not a safe household I remember growing up. I'm sure many of us do and there were a lot of things We didn't necessarily feel comfortable about going to our parents with not because they were going to beat us right You just got to get to that place of comfort and and eventually that you know that happens, but it doesn't mean it's not a safe household Right, but when someone's going through
210a crisis and you recognize that as a teacher as an adult What better person to get involved than their parents to help support them and guide them? And show them the right way And if that student lets a teacher or a guidance counselor or whoever it is that they're talking to at the school know That it is not safe for my parents to know about this. Well, then that's a different story All right, that's going to get handled and treated appropriately Okay, so please When you're discussing when you're bringing up when you're making posts on social media About this policy and the changes that we're making here be honest about it be accurate about it All right about the information you you share. All right, stop with the rhetoric and the nonsense Okay, trying to
211push whatever it is. You're trying to push Okay What we're doing here is appropriate based on the age level of the kids And there's absolutely No way you're going to convince no one's going to convince me That keeping their parents in the dark about a crisis their child may be going through is the right thing to do Can I go next do you want to go around are you just going to f1 through f8 any questions or concerns or comments? Yes, um, you're up Thank you i'm in support of Of changing our policy and I think uh, mr. Ferber Just now, you know said it well I find this to be a common sense policy and Anyone who reads it and knows the policy I would hope would come to that same conclusion anytime someone
212says forcible outing They have not read the policy the policy For anyone who thinks it's affordable forcible outing the policy states the board finds that conversations with counselors teachers or other staff About one's gender identity and expression are entitled to confidentiality So if a child says they're transgender, it's not going to trigger anything The key statement in this policy and the reason i'm on board with it Is that it clearly states that when the student requests a public social transition accommodation? That's when parents get involved To me that makes sense So I say that as a board member I say that as a father of a child in the district as a professional educator and as a social worker I think our policy protects children And it has provisions in place And gives our staff
213direction on what to do if we think there is a safety issue So this policy outlines What needs to happen in the event the situation comes up and I think it makes sense The other quick point that I want to make Is that eight of us on this board represent menalapin and mr. Tosetti represents englishtown And I do think at least for me We should consider where our community is at on important issues like this And while I don't have a lot of scientific data to back it up My sense my own personal judgment is that our community in menalapin Is supportive of this policy? Anyone from menalapin who reads it? I think the majority will be in favor of it And I mean the closest thing I have to data is is tonight's public
214comment And I was you know taking notes as people spoke and there were 29 people who spoke out against the policy And more than half of them were not from menalapin and not from englishtown So when you really look at at our community my sense is They want to go in this direction and I think as a board we should honor that sentiment So for those reasons on the yes Anybody else on f1 through f8 my fellow board members said it so eloquently that I can't top that I'm good. Okay. Anybody else? No, anybody else can we vote? No, because I have a question on f7 actually Um, there's another there's a there's an f7 on the agenda. Is this Is this honoraria based upon the actual numbers that came in at the end of
215the year for every activity? We kept a consistent one last year So why is this said revised? What's what was what was revised in this? I think we added a group Oh, okay. So something was added to it student leadership. Oh, okay. All right. That's cool. All right Thank you. Yes now we can vote Kevin Motion and second. Oh, yeah, we got that already. We're ready. We're beyond that. Okay, mr. Green. Yes, mr. Kane Yes, mrs. Parisi. Yes, mrs. Pocaro. Yes. Mr. Tosetti. Yes Mr. Ergo Mr. Bruno i'm going to abstain on on f7 on my yes on everything else Mr. Ferber. Yes Mr. Graham. Yes motion carried Okay Old and uh old and new for the board. I'll start with mr. Green I'll go to mr. Bruno. Absolutely not. Okay, Bruno. I think sir.
216Mr. Ergo Ms. Parisi, I just want to congratulate all the mems graduates tomorrow and wish them the best of luck Mr. Kane. No, mr. Ferber All the new yeah same just want to congratulate. Um all our graduating classes. Um looking forward to graduation tomorrow for our eighth grade students and And thank you to our administration and staff For I believe what's been A difficult but yet really productive and and great school year. Thank you dotty anything jesse I just want to follow on with the Congratulations to those that are graduating tomorrow and I want to thank miss teis and uh, miss siri the principals at milford and whimrock for their Um Excellent moving up ceremonies last week. I had the privilege of attending. It was a great ceremony. Those kids are awesome. Great job, ladies
217Miss pipchinski Just a reminder that summer reading is posted on the website I know you're excited about that and all those math packets. So please make sure you're remembering to check that out Congratulations to all of our students who moved on up and to those graduating have a wonderful summer to everybody. Dr. Santora We're excited tomorrow for the mems graduation as we always are I got to catch almost all of the moving up ceremonies except for some where there was conflicts Each one was beautiful in its own way Each one was special and unique to the school and to the students And I thank the principals for making sure that that happens every year and they're able to provide that special experience that they can Be a part of I do have one other board
218business quickly because I have to go practice my speech. You had a lot go me too me too um, so We usually have the board meeting I believe tuesday september 5th however, um You have to do your board evaluation and mary and friedman isn't available that day So we were thinking of moving it to wednesday september 6th If anyone has an issue with that, just please let brian or myself know And that's all I have right We could do I spoke to her the evaluation is actually optional and we could do it at any point She has limited dates. Yeah, and she's very limited dates. That's why I want to ask understood. Yes booker. Okay. Um Yeah, I have nothing for the board and we're going to move into executive session. It'll be very quick
219There'll be no action after closed for uh negotiations And the conflicted board members can depart this evening and don't need to do need do not need to attend Um motion a second to go into closed No, no action after closed motion by mr. Cetti. Okay. It was a second